


Vulnerable

by kierathefangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi Dean, Cas gets hurt and Dean saves him, Dean gets hurt and Cas saves him, Dean's mother died, F/M, High School AU, Homo Cas, John went crazy and alcoholic, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Multi, cute fluff, doctor father, paramedic mother, you know the drill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 50,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5639449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school AU. Sammy is a Freshman, Cas & Dean are Sophomores (Sam skipped a few grades). Lots of fluff, and Cas is rich (just cuz). Dean is abused by John and Cas saves him (after Dean saves his life. :) ). There's no way to do this work justice in a short summary, so...enjoy! And comment often, if you please. XD I love seeing the encouraging comments, they make it that much easier to keep writing. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blood-Curdling Scream (Dean's POV)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trampanya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trampanya/gifts), [jeweldancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeweldancer/gifts), [Phantoms_and_Foxgloves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantoms_and_Foxgloves/gifts).



> This was a spur-of-the-moment idea. My brain just went 'oh, idea!' and I had to write it. Let me know if you're interested in continuing to read so I know if I should keep publishing or just write it and leave it documented on my computer. Feedback is very helpful. I'm good, or so I've been told, at pulling people's heartstrings and leaving a lasting impression with a piece, and it would be helpful to know if this does the same?

I wander through the halls, avoiding the prying eyes of my friends asking why I’m limping and why I have a black eye. I don’t need to tell them about Dad, it’s none of their business.

A blood-curdling scream echoes through the halls, setting my teeth on edge and my hair on end. _What the hell was that? I know that kind of pained scream more than I’d like to._

The scream echoes again, followed by deep-bellied laughter like someone’s watching the most amusing and sweet movie. _This is wrong. If someone heard me screaming like that, I’d want help, not laughter._

I follow the echoes to a closed door, steeling myself and kicking it open.

Raphael, Michael, Uriel, Gadreel, and Lucifer look up from around a kid around my age lying on the floor.

I set my jaw angrily, eyes narrowed. “Leave him _alone_.”

Michael sneers. “I can do whatever I want. He’s a faggot and I live with him.”

“Doesn’t mean you can hit him,” I counter quietly. “I know from personal experience. Leave him _alone_ , Michael. I know all your names, don’t make me report you to the principal.”

Uriel, Gadreel, and Lucifer shove past me and vanish.

Raphael lifts him up, pinning him to the wall with a hand on his throat. He chokes, gasping for breath.

I finally get a good, quick look at him. He’s pale and skinny, with startlingly beautiful blue eyes and a mess of cute, dark hair. He’s covered in blood and his foot looks crushed and limp.

I take all this in in the seconds while I’m moving forward, tying rope around Michael’s arms and tying him to a chair and desk.

He jumps and tugs, realizing his arms are stuck behind his back. He snarls, “Winchester, you fucking asshole.”

I shrug, moving forward and yanking Raphael off of him, shoving him back into another desk-and-chair and tying him down, too.

He yanks, snarling wordlessly. I smack him at the perfect angle and he slumps, unconscious.

I punch Michael in the stomach and leave him there—for now—before moving over, scooping up the kid.

He’s limp and unconscious, but he’s still breathing just barely. _Thank god. Alright._

I slip out, getting the principal and leading the way to them. He gets them in the campus police car, one of two, and the campus cop takes off.

I set the kid down in an ambulance and tell them to wait just a minute.

I take off, tying the other three together and dragging them out to the other cop, explaining what happened quickly.

He nods and lets me open the door, shoving them in the back. As soon as the door shuts, he’s gone.

I make my way back to the ambulance, shaking my head.

The principal frowns. “You’re bleeding.”

I touch my nose—Lucifer punched me—and my hand comes away bloody. “I’m fine. Got the other three rounded up and away, though not without a couple punches first. I’ll live, I’ve dealt with much worse.”

The frowning paramedic hands me a sterilized cloth and I place it under my nose, pinching to stop the blood flow.

The trip to the hospital is short and the kid begins to wake up, stirring and groaning quietly.

Everyone perks up once he starts moving, the paramedics checking his eyes. They’re responsive again and he blinks, eyes half-closed.

One of the paramedics lightly touches his hand and he winces, stiffening. She smiles, squeezing his hand. “Hey, sweetie. How are you doing?”

He coughs up blood, wincing and gagging a little. One of the others wipes his mouth off and he shakes his head. “Wh-where...?”

She almost sags in relief as he manages to choke out the word. “You’re on your way to the hospital, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

His eyes come into focus. “Mom?”

Her face lights up and she nods. “Castiel, honey, you took quite a hit.”

_Castiel? Unusual name. I like it._

Castiel smiles weakly. “Yeah, I know. I think my foot broke but it’s so numb I can’t tell.”

Castiel’s hand closes on his mother’s and she nods, her hand brushing his foot. “Looks like you did. What happened, can you tell me that?”

Castiel winces. “Raphael, Lucifer, Uriel, Gadreel.”

I frown, adding, “And Michael.”

She looks up in surprise and Castiel winces, biting his lip. “Michael? Tall and skinny, blonde hair and hazel eyes?”

I raise an eyebrow and nod. “Yeah, why?”

She frowns. “Michael is Castiel’s older brother. To think he was involved...”

I shrug. “They either locked the door, blocked it off, or both. I had to kick it open and all five of them were around him. Michael specifically said ‘he’s a faggot and I live with him, I can do whatever I want’ and I told him that doesn’t mean he can hit him.”

Her frown deepens. “Where is he now?”

A small smile tugs on my mouth. “In a police car with rope on his hands, alongside Raphael.”

Her frown fades a little. “You found him?”

I nod, shivering a little. “More like I heard him scream, but yeah.”

Castiel winces, his eyes pointedly avoiding me. His mother’s eyebrows shoot into the air. “Scream?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure it was his foot, since broken bones hurt like a bitch. And what really tripped me up was someone _laughed_ when he screamed. Like, not scared or nervous laughter, but _happy_ like they were watching some Disney movie or something.”

“That was Raphael,” Castiel murmurs, closing his eyes. “He’s always been like that.”

His mother’s eyes dart to Castiel and back to me. “Have you ever met before?”

I shake my head. “No. He might’ve met my nerdy little brother, but not me. My brother Sam skipped a few grades, he’s a freshman this year but he should be in about seventh or eighth by his age—he’s three and a half years younger than me.”

A small smile touches her lips. “His older brother Gabriel’s a sophomore in college this year. He’s twenty.”

I shrug, pulling the cloth off my nose now that it’s stopped bleeding. She takes it, throwing it in the trash.

I lightly touch my nose, making sure it didn’t break before replying, “I’m a sophomore in high school. My name’s Dean Winchester.”

“I’ve met Sam, but we didn’t talk much.” Castiel swallows, chewing on his cheek. “He’s cool.”

I grin, swallowing. “Yeah, he is. Always has been.”

His mother smiles faintly. “My name is Naomi Novak, and this is my son Castiel.”

I nod, noting the religious background of the names. “Angels?”

She laughs, nodding. “Not many people get that reference.”

I shrug. “My brother wanted me to read the Bible to him when he was little instead of a bedtime story common for kids his age. He was only seven, but he already had master his puppy-eyed look. So I did. And he came back to read it several times.”

“That’s cute,” Naomi purrs. “What did he say about it?”

“Said it was the most interesting read aside from the college-level dictionaries.”

They both laugh, Castiel’s laugh weak and breathless but there. _Cas. It’s simpler and rolls of the tongue better than Castiel. I’ll call him Cas._

Cas almost seems to have forgotten he’s in pain, he’s wide awake and apparently numb.

Time speeds back up as they roll him in, and his mother pauses in the waiting room. “I’ll send his father out with any updates. He’s the doctor.”

She disappears and I sink into an empty chair, on edge and nervous. I know it’s bad, but _how_ bad?


	2. Tough Little Kid (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meets Castiel's father. He coaxes something pretty major out of him (not gonna spoil) and Dean's in pain and of course (being a doctor), Eli notices and takes care of him. :) Cute Dean & Cas' dad (Eli Novak) fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Dean's POV. Promise next is Cas.
> 
> The song I'm listening to influences what I write; during this chapter I was listening to Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I would encourage you to listen to it as you read. :)

For several hours, the silence is suffocating. No one tries to speak with me, which is both helpful and making it worse. There’s no distraction, but they’re not prying for information I’m not able to give.

Finally a solemn doctor peeks out, stress bags under his eyes. “Dean Winchester?”

I rise to my feet, following him down the hall into an empty room.

He sighs, crossing his arms. “So you’re the one who saved my son?”

I blink, swallowing. _Saved? I found him. Well...I guess I did. I don’t know._ “Um, yeah.”

He nods. “I’m Eli Novak, I’m his father.”

I incline my head politely, chewing on my lip. _My experience with fathers is not normal, it’s okay. Breathe._ “Hi.”

Eli smiles faintly. “Luckily he’s a tough little kid, but...”

The smile vanishes, just like that. “Well, he’s still pretty hurt.”

I bite my lip, wincing. “How bad is it?”

Eli’s smile flickers across his face. “Well, he’s alive. That’s a start. He’s currently unconscious, but he’s alive. His foot, as he mentioned it, is broken. His ribs are bruised. He’s covered in bruises, I’m surprised he’s not black and blue already. His nose is broken and his throat is raw. He’s healing, slowly, but he’s in a lot of pain.”

I keep my gaze down so he doesn’t see my grimace and my shift of weight off my bad leg. “You shoulda heard him scream. I’ve never heard anything like it. Of course Raphael _laughed_ when he screamed, which is really messed up, but that scream....”

Eli’s hand lands lightly on my shoulder. “Raphael laughed?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. It wasn’t some weird cackle, it was _happy_ like he was watching some Disney movie or something and was relieved when it reached a happy ending.”

“Something or someone hit that kid over the head one too many times,” Eli murmurs, shaking his head.

I wince, keeping myself still despite the building pain in both of my legs—from dad—and my shoulder—from Michael punching me. “Maybe he was dropped on his head as a baby too many times.”

Eli chuckles and lifts his hand from my shoulder to slide a finger under my chin, tilting my head up. I resist recoiling, trying to cover up the shiver of fear. “Maybe he was.”

_He’s treating me like a son. Like a son having a panic attack or something,_ I realize, unable to move my eyes from him even though I tried. The pain ebbs a bit from my shoulder without his touch and though my legs are still screaming at me, I can ignore the bruises and the pain for now.

For several still minutes, we stay like that. We would probably have stayed longer but I fidget, unable to stay still any longer; my legs are about to give out under me.

His head tilts enough for me to know he noticed the movement, the careful adjustment. “Are you okay?”

I manage to drop my gaze, chewing on my lip again. “I’m fine.”

Eli clears his throat. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’re fine, Dean.”

It’s a soft voice, gentle like Mom’s would’ve been. A spark of pain ripples through me and I wince, my eyes flickering up towards him.

A small smile pulls at his lips. “I’m a doctor, you know. I can tell when you’re in pain.”

I swallow. “It’s just a couple bruises and a memory.”

Eli tilts his head curiously, like a puppy who heard a whistle. “A memory?”

I swallow hard, trying to stay still and resisting the strong urge to run. “Yeah.”

“About what?”

I shake my head. “Not what, _who_. My mom.”

Eli frowns. “Your mother?”

I nod slowly. “She, um, she died when I was four and my little brother was six months old. I still remember her, but he doesn’t. She always knew when I was lying, it was kinda funny to me.”

Eli raises an eyebrow. “What happened?”

I shrug. “No one believes me. My dad knows and I know what really happened, but they say he was drunk and I was hallucinating.”

“Hallucinating what, son?”

I wince again. “She burned on the ceiling of Sammy’s nursery. My little brother.”

His mouth opens in surprise. “Burned alive?”

I nod, muttering, “I can still hear the screams. I doubt I’ll ever really get over it. Ever since, Dad’s been an alcoholic and I just kinda took over his role and raised my brother.”

Eli’s hand lands on my shoulder, light and comforting. “That’s terrible.”

I shrug weakly. “That’s how I grew up. If I hadn’t’ve matured when I did, a couple months after Mom, then Sam would’ve starved. Dad wasn’t getting any food with his money anymore, just beers and whiskeys and bourbons. So I had to take over, make sure Sammy ate enough. I went without a few days here and there so he could eat.”

Eli runs a light hand over my hair. “You’re such a good big brother.”

A small, tentative smile tugs on my lips. “I try.”

Eli tilts his head. “And now you’re injured, aren’t you?”

I shrug, wincing as my shoulder loudly protests. “You could say that.”

He frowns. “What happened?”

I freeze, swallowing. “Um, Lucifer and Michael both punched me and...”

I stop, cutting myself off before I choke. _Dad._

He almost seems to understand, a frown darkening his features. “And?”

I wince, dropping my gaze and muttering, “My dad.”

A flash of vulnerability shoots through me like a gunshot and I shift from foot to foot, eyes downcast.

Eli squeezes my shoulder gently. “Dean, relax. Freezing up isn’t going to help anyone.”

My eyes flicker up towards him. “I’ve never told anyone about Dad. Not even Sam, even though I’ve had to keep Dad away from him. He’s always drunk, and he’s a...um, a _violent_ drunk.”

Eli wraps his arms around me, stroking my hair and trailing a gentle finger over my back. I freeze for a second before closing my eyes, thawing piece by piece; my shoulders, my arms, my legs, my knees, my neck.

I keep my eyes closed, trying to keep an image of a younger, happier Dad in my memory and letting my arms lift around him, my head falling against him.

For an immeasurable moment, neither of us move. But yet again, the pain stops the moment. A gunshot is going off repeatedly in my shoulder and my legs are screaming at me like they’re on fire.

Eli slowly releases me, hands on both my shoulders. “Where does it hurt most?”

I consider that, wincing. “Probably my legs, stomach and right shoulder. My right, your left.”

Eli nods, fingers brushing my stomach. I flinch, closing my eyes. _Ow._

His finger brush my legs gently, pinpointing the source. I suck in a cold, quick breath as his hands touch my shins and my knees, pain flaring back through me. My eyes fly open again. _Ow, damn it!_

He rises back to his feet from a crouch, his fingers touching my shoulder calculatingly. I wince, flinching back.

He nods slowly. “I think you’re pretty banged up, but nothing is broken. I’d prefer to do a quick MRI and X-ray to be sure, if that’s okay with you.”

I wince. “Yeah, sure. Just don’t...make sure Dad doesn’t find out?”

“Of course, son.” Eli guides me into an empty room next to Cas and sets to work.

“You’re just as tough as Castiel. A tough little kid.” He flashes a smile, picking me up and lowering me onto the white bed.

I close my eyes, swallowing and trying to ignore the feeling of being vulnerable. _He’s not going to hurt me, he won’t._

Eli rolls the bed out of the room, and I black out at last.


	3. Take Care of Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adorable fluff. Dean talks about his dad and losing his mom. Cas is determined to get a picture to expose John and tells Dean as much. He says Dean and Sam can stay at his house and Dean's all cute and 'no, I don't wanna intrude' and Cas is like 'you wouldn't be intruding'. Cas' dad even agrees he wouldn't mind having them over ("of course it's fine"). XD Cas' foot is revealed broken, and I'm saying his ribs are bruised (not mentioned here) and he's pretty bruised but otherwise fine (ahem thanks to Dean ;) ahem).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV, as promised. :)
> 
> I was listening to "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat (as I said, my music does affect the writing) and I would suggest you listen to it while reading. Here's the YouTube link (I use it all the time, I just love YouTube. XD): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FjRyV-Mqh4  
> (That particular link is a lyrics version of the song.) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

I wake up suddenly, almost like someone’s shaking me awake. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the bright lights, and of course I find myself in a hospital room.

The first thing that goes through my mind is Dean. _Is he okay? Is he hurt?_

Dad slips in and his eyes widen. “Castiel?”

I swallow a mouthful of blood, my tongue darting out to lick my lips. “Dad. How is Dean?”

A small smile flickers across his face. “Well, his nose got hit pretty hard, and apparently his shoulder, too. He’s alright now, but his dad hit him hard. I ran a couple tests and he’s okay now, though he’s a little shaken.”

I shiver. “What?”

Dad bites his lip. “He told me his dad abuses him, ever since his mom burned on the ceiling of his baby brother’s nursery when he was four—his brother being six months old at the time. Don’t mention I told you that. You’ve been here for several hours. How are you feeling?”

I shrug weakly. “I’m okay...I think. I don’t feel anything right now.”

Dad smiles faintly. “You’re lucky Dean heard you. You’re pretty bad off as is, kiddo. Your mother’s been going crazy with you still unconscious.”

I struggle to sit up, barely getting up without wincing. “Can I talk to Dean?”

Dad nods. “Of course, son, let me go find him.”

He slips out of the room and I rub my eyes, swallowing hard. A nervous tremor racks through me and I steel myself, ignoring the twinge from my ribs. _Not too bad considering Raphael tried to choke me out. He’s right, it’s damn lucky Dean heard me and cared. Last time someone heard it was Uriel and Gadreel, and they just ‘joined in the fun’, as they put it._

Dean slips in, his calm demeanor from the ambulance replaced by a jittery, uneasy disposition. He’s bouncing on his toes, almost like he’s ready to run at a moments’ notice as he slides closer, stopping with a full foot between me and him. His eyes are darting nervously and his eyes are fixed down towards his shoes.

I tilt my head a little, swallowing so my voice won’t crack. “Hi.”

Dean’s eyes flicker up towards me. “Hi.”

I let a small bubble of confusion to flicker across my face. “Dean?”

His shoulders tense up in a knot but he looks up, his gaze staying a little low but high enough I can see his eyes. “What?”

I cross my legs, a small smile of amusement tugging at the corner of my lips. “You’re jumpy. You were a lot calmer in the ambulance.”

Some of the tension eases. “I was talking, which both helps and doesn’t.”

I raise an eyebrow slowly and a tiny, shy smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, his gaze rising a little more. “I heard you. You’ve had a run-in with one of them before, haven’t you?”

He finally lifts his gaze to mine, surprise flickering over his features. “Um, yeah. I have. They were bullying Sam. Not Lucifer, but the others. They never sent him to a hospital, it was more demeaning words. Which, to Sam, is much worse. He’s a smart kid, having words used against him isn’t something he likes.”

I offer him a shy smile, lacing my fingers together in my lap. “I understand that. It started at just words, but when it never got to me they got pretty desperate.”

Dean slips closer, closing off half the distance but dancing uneasily from one foot to another still. “Are you okay?”

I consider that, answering honestly, “Not bad for how much they hit me. It doesn’t hurt that much.”

Dean chuckles a little, quiet and nervous. “Your dad called you a ‘tough little kid’.”

I grin, shaking my head. “I’m not _that_ little. Compared to Sam, sure, but I’m not little anymore.”

A shy half-smile lights up his face, the tension easing like water rolling off of him. “He said the same about me. Do I look that little to you?”

I giggle, ignoring the slight strain on my ribs. “No.”

The smile spreads across his face, becoming easier as the smile reaches his eyes with a spark of light. “Sam’s still taller than me. He’s like Sasquatch, he’s just a half-giant like Hagrid.”

I raise an eyebrow, mild surprise running through me. “You ready Harry Potter?”

“Yep. Didn’t like the movies all that much. I related best to Peeves.”

I grin, chuckling, “Just like my big brother Gabriel.”

Dean leans against the bed near my feet, relaxing. “Sounds like we’d get along.”

I shrug, tilting my head. “You probably would, yeah. You okay? Your nose was bleeding pretty bad.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Eh, no bloody nose ever killed me. It didn’t break and that’s all that matters.”

I let a small amount of curiosity to slip into my voice. “Dad said Michael and Lucifer both hit you?”

Dean swallows, his smile slipping for just a second. “Yeah. Damn that kid can hit hard.”

An ounce of uncertainty slips into my voice as I finally broach the subject: “Dean, wh-why did you...why’d you stop them? Only one person ever heard me, and that was Uriel. Him and Gadreel were best friends, they—in their words—‘decided to join in the fun’ when they heard.”

Dean’s eyes widen. “ _What?_ Cas, why _wouldn’t_ I? I’m not some damn heartless bastard. When Sammy screamed like that it was because he broke his leg falling off the tallest monkey bars. Besides, I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that and I’ll do my damndest to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else.”

He pauses, flinching a little like he let something slip.

I blink, absorbing what he said. Two things really strike a cord: _on the receiving end_ and _Cas_. No one’s ever called me that before. And when was he on the receiving end?

Dean swallows, his gaze falling to his hands. I let my eyebrows wrinkle, tilting my head again. Softly, I repeat, “Cas?”

He looks up, his mouth open a little. “What?”

I shake my head. “No one’s ever called me that before.”

A small twitch raises his eyebrow for a second. “If you don’t like it—”

I shake my head again, cutting him off. “No, I like it. It’s just...no one has. Gabriel called me little bird, Michael called me Cassie. Everyone else just called me Castiel.”

A small frown tugs on his lips, lowering his eyebrows. “It rolls off the tongue easier. Cassie is a girl’s name.”

I smile a little. “That’s kinda the point. I mean, you see how he is now. And little bird comes from having an angel’s name, he kept joking one day I’d have a big golden pair of wings and I’d fly off—just like a little bird.”

A smile reverses the frown for a second. “I like him already.”

I shrug, running a hand through my hair. “He’s gonna be down here tomorrow, on winter break with us. You could meet him then.”

“I’d like that.” Dean seems almost relieved. “At least one of your big brothers _acts_ like a big brother.”

I grin, my hand falling at my side. “I have an older sister, Anna, but she’s graduated and an artist. I could call on her, but she’s busy. Gabriel just screws off most of the time and still passes with flying colors.”

Dean runs a quick hand over his hair. “Some sister. If I had a sister, she’d be like my friend Jo. Kinda motherly, but sweet and able to crack a joke to lighten the mood.”

Again, his smile slips as something passes through his mind.

Finally I can’t stand it anymore. “Dean, you’re doing it again.”

Dean looks up. “Doing what?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’ll be all relaxed and then you tense up and your smile is gone just like that. It’s like something’s on your mind.”

Dean starts nibbling on the inside of his cheek anxiously. “Damn. Sammy doesn’t notice that.”

I frown, my eyebrows drawing down towards my eyes. “It’s pretty obvious to me.”

Dean shrugs. “You’re more observant than most.”

I tilt my head, prompting gently, “So?”

His eyes fall again. “Jo reminds me of my mom. How she was, and still should be. If she was here.”

I let my frown deepen, playing dumb. “Did she leave?”

Dean swallows. “You could say that. She died when I was four, burned up on the ceiling. Sam was six months old. I can still hear her screams in my head. It’s not something you just get over. I didn’t talk for months and when I did start again it was with a stutter. Wasn’t till I was about twelve that I was actually talking again.”

My mouth opens. “That’s terrible.”

Dean shivers. “Everything reminds me of her. And ever since, I had to raise my brother. Dad just...stopped. Hell, he stopped taking care of me. Most he ever did was yell himself hoarse and get drunk all over again. Slowly got worse until I couldn’t be within five feet of him or he’d start yelling again. He started spending the food money on whiskey, beer, bourbon. I had to go and make a living so Sammy could eat. I went without a few times, sometimes for days, just so he got a proper meal.”

I shake my head, a sense of horror dawning on me. “Your dad...he got worse, didn’t he?”

Dean nods slowly, his gaze flicking towards me. “He started throwing things. Empty bottles, mainly. Anything within reach. Almost got a staple to the face. I got close enough, he’d actually hit me. So I kept him away from Sammy and under wraps. Passed off everything from bruises to hospital visits as bullies at school. Sam believed it, he was a little kid. He didn’t know any better. It got even worse to the point where I couldn’t walk for hours after, and breathing was damn difficult.”

He shrugs, his eyes glued to the hands laced in his lap. “I’m pretty used to it. Hell, he’ll probably be pissed I missed some classes at school today and came home late. But whatever. I can take it, I’m not a damn crybaby.”

I slowly shake my head, a half-formed plan coming to mind that just makes sense—both morally and by a gut feeling. _Get a clear picture of it. And then he goes to jail for good while Dean’s in the hospital, if it gets that far. There’s gotta be something I can do, even hurt as I am. I’ll be okay, Dad’ll give me a boot and I can walk on that._

Dean looks up, his head tilting a little as our eyes meet. “Cas?”

I shake off the haze. “I’m okay, just...thinking.”

“About?”

I already feel like I know him so well—like we’ve been friends forever and ever. I lift my gaze to meet his directly.

He looks genuinely curious. I swallow another mouthful of blood, licking it off my teeth quickly. “You.”

Dean raises an eyebrow, a heightened interest reaching his eyes. “What?”

I swallow again, twiddling my thumbs. “Well, if he’s gonna come after you anyway...if Sam or I were close enough to get a picture, _clear_ picture, there’s no denying it. If you don’t want Sam to see it I could send it to you and then delete it afterwards. Either way you’d have proof enough to convince any legal system, and he’d get in huge trouble. I’m sure there’s something we can work out—you could stay at our house, I’m sure Dad wouldn’t mind. He already likes you.”

Dean’s eyes widen in pure, innocent surprise. “Cas, I...I don’t want to intrude, and I’m sure Sam wouldn’t either.”

“I just...” He starts to continue and drifts off, studying me in shock.

I shake my head. “You wouldn’t be. We’ve got a ten-bedroom mansion. It used to have more people, but since Mom and Dad share a room, Michael’s imprisoned, and Anna’s off at her own place...just Dad and Mom, me, and Gabriel live there now, it’s kinda too big. It’s all echoey. There’s seven unused rooms, you’d be able to stay in one of them. And the table’s so fucking huge it’s just nonsense. We used to have great grandparents, grandparents, parents, and four kids in the house. The table’s like some King’s rectangular thing, it’s huge. There’s too much room anyway, you and Sam would fill a void. Besides, you already fit in and you both have a sense of humor all of us like. Sam’s kinda like me, you’re like Gabriel. You’d fit right in.”

Dean shakes his head, bewildered. “But why?”

I tilt my head. “For the same reason you saved me. I’m not a heartless bastard, either, I’m not gonna do nothing while you let your own father abuse you—it’s wrong, and I just can’t. I’d die trying, I’d go cold. I can’t do that.”

His frown just deepens and I feel a pang of warmth for him.

“But I’m...I...but I’m just some kid at school. You don’t even know me that well, we just met...” He checks his watch. “Eight hours ago.”

I shrug. “So? It doesn’t matter when or where we met, or even how. You’re still a _human_ , you still have emotions and wants and needs and all just like anyone else. You _matter_ , Dean. And not just cause you saved my life, but because you’re kind and helpful and loving and sweet and funny. Hell, someone has to take care of you. You’re certainly not taking care of yourself, and your dad’s just an ass. Your brother needs caring for. Come on, you can’t honestly tell me you don’t _want_ him to stop, that you don’t _want_ it to be over.”

Dean tilts his head, a single lock of loosely-curly hair falling into his face. For some reason, he looks even more adorable and helpless like that. “I want, but I don’t need. I don’t get it. It’s not deadly, just painful as hell. No one’s ever... _offered_ to help. I mean, no one’s ever read into it enough to actually know, but no one’s ever cared enough to do anything about it. Well, maybe Jo if she knew, and of course Sam would but they’d just get hurt. I can’t let that happen. I may want it to stop, but...”

He shakes his head, cutting himself off.

I chew on my lip, thinking about how to answer that. “Dean, you...”

I shake my head, clearing my throat and trying again. “Dean, it hurts to see other people in pain. Just seeing you talk about your mom and how your dad basically lost his sanity hurts, and talking about how you went without eating...you didn’t even wince, or flinch. It’s sad. You shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself and just overwhelm yourself worrying about others. You have needs, too. You need to eat, drink, sleep. You need to heal. You need time to grieve over your lost life. And hell, you admitted yourself you want it to stop. You need someone to take care of you, since you sure as hell don’t seem to care about yourself as much as Jo and Sam.”

Dean’s mouth opens and forms a tiny ‘oh’. “You lost someone close, didn’t you?”

I feel a splash of vulnerability like spilling water on myself and close my eyes. “My grandma, and my older brother Noah killed himself. I was closer to him than anyone but Gabriel. Hell, if Gabriel was hurting...”

I just shiver; no words can express it. Dean seems to understand anyway.

“It goes both ways,” he murmurs. “You love your brother, and he you.”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. Noah...he was close, but he didn’t know I’m homo.”

I wince, dropping my gaze. Dean clears his throat, shivering a little. “Sammy still doesn’t know I’m bi. I told my dad and...well, you know him well enough to know what he did.”

I shake my head, another pang running through me in little ripples that grow into waves before dying down again to lap at the shore. “Yeah. You’ve got a fucking terrible dad. I told Mom, and she told Dad. Neither of them care. Gabriel doesn’t care. Michael...”

I shiver. “Once upon a time he wouldn’t’ve cared. Something snapped in him, and he just...you saw him in there. I brought it up cause he got in my face for looking at his girlfriend. I said I wasn’t interested because I’m homo. Biggest mistake I ever made in front of him; he had a field day with it. I brought it up just a little before you found me. I don’t know what broke him.”

Dean shrugs. “Could’ve been a number of things. God knows I’ve dealt with far too damn many things that could’ve, that should’ve broken me. I just grew stronger with each thing. I couldn’t snap, I had Sammy to take care of. I don’t know.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Well, Mom and Dad take care of all of us. He didn’t have to take care of me. He just...he’s my big brother, he _should_ —oh, shit, Gabe’s gonna be pissed at him. Ah, well, he didn’t like him much anyway.”

Dean chuckles a little. “I’d be pissed if I came home to find my big brother had beat Sammy up. I’d personally kick his ass. And I know what you mean.”

I shrug weakly, passing a hand over my face. “Again, you and Gabe’ll get along just fine. So...Dean, your dad?”

Dean sighs. “I doubt I’ll convince you otherwise anyway. But I don’t know if you’ll be up by then.”

“Of course I will. I’ll have a boot cause no doubt my foot’s broken, but...I can walk on it.”

Dean shakes his head, a tiny smile dancing on his lips. “You’re impossible.”

“I try,” I counter lightly. I swallow another mouthful of blood, a small worry nagging at my mind about that and where it’s all coming from.

Dean rolls his eyes, the smile reaching his eyes. A flash of thanks in his eyes makes the entire argument totally worth it. “Yeah, whatever. You’re just like Sammy, I see what you mean.”

“I’m a little tougher thanks to Michael,” I counter teasingly, narrowing my eyes playfully.

Dean chuckles. “Maybe you are. Look, I’ll be right back. Gotta talk to Sammy, I called him here once school was out. He was really damn worried. Be back?”

I nod approvingly, flashing him a small smile. “Yeah.”

He slips out and I let a small, breathless groan pass my lips.

I swallow again, asking tentatively, “Dad?”

Dad slips back in, eyes widening. “You’re really pale, kiddo.”

“I think it’s a combination of things, one of which being Dean just told me everything. Do you have, like, a bag I can vomit into? Just thinking about what that asshole did to his own son...”

Dad nods and reappears, handing it do me. “Did you talk about it a lot?”

I nod, fake-heaving over the bag and covering up the little bit of blood that comes up. “Yeah. I finally convinced him to let me help. Oh, Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

I look up, but not before licking my lips just in case. “Um, would it be okay if Sam and Dean stayed with us? The house is more than big enough and their dad is the only adult they have around. I don’t think foster care would suit the pair. And how long till I can be up? My legs are getting sore already from lack of use.”

Dad chuckles softly. “Of course it would be fine. And probably about half an hour, the boot’ll be here and I can put it on your foot. Once that’s on, you’re free to wander around.”

I nod slowly, ducking back over the bag and actually vomiting a little into it, gagging and spitting out the little bit of food I’d managed to stuff down my throat before Michael dragged me off. “Ew. Okay, thanks.”

Dad ruffles my hair. “Of course. You need anything, just call, okay?”

I nod gratefully. “Yeah.”

Dad disappears and I almost sigh in relief but I choke on blood, spitting out another mouthful into the bag.

My hands are shaking a little as I wipe the blood off with one of the sterile cloths near the bed, getting out every drop of blood I can before wiping my face off and chucking the cloth, pulling the bag shut and chucking it. It lands perfectly in the trash. Finally the blood stays in me, no more coming up. _Thank god._

I shake my head, running a hand through my hair and breathing through my mouth and nose alternatively until the smell of blood leaves my nose and the taste leaves my mouth.


	4. Maybe He's Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to Sam, promises to explain later. He says 'maybe he’s right, something does need to be done even if I don’t like it' (talking about Cas saying his dad needs to be taken care of in the previous chapter). Sam is confused but Dean leaves no room for questions. Dean's train of thought is all about 'this is for Sammy'. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but it's an important bridge between Cas and Dean's points of view. Short but there's brotherly fluff. XD
> 
> Set from Dean's POV.

Sam looks up as I come out, eyes clouded with sleep. “Dean?”

He yawns and I’m yet again reminded why I’ve done so much for him.

I grin, tousling his hair playfully. “Hey, Sammy. I talked to Cas, he’s alright. His foot’s broken, ribs’re bruised, but he can walk around soon—in a boot—which is good.”

Sam gives me a sleepy smile. “Tha’s good. When’re you gonna leave, then?”

I shrug. “Whenever he does. You don’t have to stick around, but I’m not going just yet.”

Sam yawns and rises to his feet, running a hand through his hair. “’Kay. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I agree.

I’m not even hinting at why I’m sticking around. As much as it hurts to admit it, Cas is right. I need to take care of myself, and if he needs to help me to do that then that’s what I’m gonna let him do. Even if that means exposing Dad. I can’t tell Sammy, not yet, but I know I have to. Once all this is over, I have to. I’d rather he hears it from me than Cas or someone else.

We wander outside together and after checking that no one’s around I steady myself as best as I can. _I’ve gotta try, even if it’s damn hard._

I close my eyes, forcing the words out before I can back out. “And when I do get home, we need to talk about Dad, okay? I’ve been putting it off for way too long, and for a while you were just too young but I can’t say that anymore. I...Cas talked to me about it, and he’s right. Something’s gotta be done, even if it hurts.”

I peek at him to catch the look of mingled surprise and horror. “What? Why can’t you tell me now?”

I shiver, a wordless and pained hiss escaping as he touches my still-bruised shoulder. “I don’t...”

I stop, trying again. “I can’t, Sammy, it’s hard enough to say it out loud as is. And I know you’d confront him, I can’t let you get hurt. Cas and I’ll take care of this and once it’s done, I’ll talk to you. You’ll understand what I mean and I’m sorry for dodging the question but I’m still bruised to hell and I’m not ready yet. Please, just give me time, okay?”

Sam swallows hard, frowning. “Dean, what—?”

I shake my head. “Please. Once we’re done with this mess, then I can tell you. But not before. You’re my little brother and we love each other, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself back no matter what you promise. As much as it hurts to keep this from you, I have to. He’d hurt you for confronting him and me for telling you, just....I’ll explain later, just go hang out with Jo and Charlie and I’ll call when I’m home. I swear, damn it, I won’t back out and I will tell you. Just give us time to work this out.”

“Work what out?”

I sigh, shaking my head again. “Cas has a solution, okay? And maybe he’s right, something does need to be done even if I don’t like it. And don’t go home, no matter what you do. Just go to Jo’s when I call and I’ll come pick you up. Don’t ask questions, please, just go do this. I swear it’s for your own good—and maybe mine, too. I haven’t really taken care of myself recently, I’ve been up all night for weeks and just getting minutes here and there. I haven’t eaten a real meal in months, just whatever snacks I can get my hands on. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is Dad and his alcoholism, the sneak peek at what all this is about. Just go, and I’ll explain to you later in as much detail as I can stomach.”

Sam admits a loss, his head falling. “Fine, but this better be a damn good explanation.”

“Oh, and we’re staying at Cas’ house after all this is over so don’t go home. I’ll explain why later, please just go. I don’t have much time to prepare for this, since it’s kinda last minute.”

Sam frowns. “We’re staying at Cas’ house? But _why_?”

I shrug, trying to play it cool. “His mansion more like, because he offered and I heard his dad say that it’s fine. I’ll explain but for now just know it’s necessary unless we want to go into foster care. Okay?”

Sam rolls his eyes, recognizing the cool, dismissive move. “Fine, but don’t get yourself hurt in the process.”

“I’ll try,” I promise, knowing that one I’ll have to break. “You stay safe.”

Sam nods, suspicion in his eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

I take one last, quick look over him, reminding myself why I’m letting Cas help, before turning and slipping back inside.


	5. Samuel Winchester and Joanna Beth Harvelle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets Sam, Jo, and Ellen. Jo is all therapeutic over his panic attack while Sam is supportive and everything (which helps more than Jo and Ellen). Sam and Cas talk a lot and it's kinda cute. Sam mentions his girlfriend (Jessica Moore, AKA Jess). Cas mentions his homosexuality and Sam is totally cool with it, which calms Cas down a lot easier than Jo's sympathy. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV. John, Dean, and Mary are discussed. There's a minor panic attack on Cas' part.
> 
> Lots of cute fluff! Hope you enjoy this one, it took a while to write but it was totally worth it.

I glance at Dean—he’s out cold already.

I pull into the parking lot and shut the car off, getting out. I slip around, lifting Dean into my arms and shutting the door behind him.

I limp my way across the parking lot, slipping inside and stumbling forward up towards Dad, who is looking around worriedly for me.

I stop at last, panting, “Dad, it's Dean.”

Dad blinks, frowning at me. “Where have you been? And what the hell happened to Dean?”

I stick my tongue out. “Dean and I had a plan and it worked. We have a video of his father beating him up, and now him and Sam can legally get away from him. That’s why I wanted to know if they could stay with us; it's that or foster care, which really doesn't suit them after all they've already been through together. Let me know when he wakes up, his little brother’ll be worried sick over him.”

“Of course.” He lifts Dean from my arms, disappearing down the hall.

I pull Dean’s phone from my pocket, as prearranged. I slip back outside, dialing ‘Sammy Winchester’.

He picks up immediately. “Dean?”

I take a deep breath. “Listen, Sam, this is Cas. Dean already prearranged this with me and I can pick you up, but I’ll need an address. He’s unconscious and can't call you himself, or he would be.”

“Is he hurt? Is he okay?” Sam’s voice grows urgent. “I thought you were hurt?”

“Technically speaking, yes. My foot is broken. I don’t know if he’s okay because we just got here, but I will tell you he’s not bloody. He passed out on the drive over. Your brother saved my life, I’m trying to repay what I can. I have the keys to the Impala, I can drive. Where are you?”

Sam rattles off directions and I turn the key. “Alright, I’m on my way. Stay there, I may be able to drive but I can’t chase you. I assure you, Dean will be okay. My dad’s a doctor so Dean’s already in the ER, no line.”

He sighs.  “Thank God for that. Please be quick.”

I nod, despite knowing he can’t see me. “Of course. I’m on my way.”

I hang up, following the directions and sliding smoothly up in front of a nice house in a middle-class neighborhood. I kinda wish I could live here somewhere, I’ve never even been in one. Just mansions and castles around the world. For some reason my entire family are either royal or super rich.

I slip out of the car, suppressing my anxiety at meeting new people—namely this girl, Jo, who Sam is hanging out with—and wandering up the path, pushing the button to ring the doorbell.

A tall woman with light brown hair and dark brown eyes pulls the door open, her stress-lined face and soft eyes belying her stiff and suspicious posture. “Hello.”

I shift my weight off my broken foot, which is already protesting. Her eyes are instantly drawn to the cast and her expression and posture softens. “You must be Cas, come in.”

I bite my lip, slipping past her uneasily.

The house is cozy in a way a mansion isn’t. There’s just a little more space than needed, not an entirely unused floor of the house. Every space is used. I let my eyes travel curiously around for a while before falling back down again.

The woman puts a gentle arm around my shoulders and I instinctively stiffen, anxiety drawing my shoulders in. _Breathe, it’s okay. Count to ten, come on. Remember what Gabe taught you._

Almost knowingly, she says in a soft voice, “My name is Ellen, I’m Jo’s mom.”

I relax a little, glancing up at Ellen. A small and warm smile similar to Mom’s is playing on her lips, drawing away some of the tension.

As soon as I relax a little, the arm around me becomes more friendly.

Ellen nods to my foot, asking softly, “What happened?”

I wince, clearing my throat nervously. “My brother.”

Her eyes widen. “ _What?_ ”

I bite my lip, wincing again. “My brother Michael. As my father’s been reminding both of us repeatedly, Dean saved my life.”

She shakes her head. “Your brother? But shouldn’t family take care of you?”

I shrug, keeping my eyes down so she won’t see the layers of hurt I know are there. “Should, yes. Do they? Not all the time. Michael just _stopped_. Gabriel does, and he’s older brother to both Michael and I. Michael’s still my older brother, but it’s Gabriel who takes care of me.”

Ellen frowns. “But he broke your foot?”

I bite down harder on my lip. “Him and his friends at school. And my ribs are bruised.”

“That’s...hell, I’d kick his ass for that.”

A small, shy smile tugs on my lips. “Well, Dean already took care of that. They fought a bit and he got them in the campus cop cars so they’re all in jail. Doesn’t reverse the damage, but it does mean he saved my life. Raphael was trying to choke me out when Dean pulled him off. I’m trying to return the favor best as I can, but Dean’s not very willing. I did help resolve a pretty big thing, but it did mean Dean got hurt pretty bad.”

Ellen shakes her head, using the arm around me to guide me down the hall towards a closed door. “That’s terrible. Joanna Beth and Samuel are in there.”

I let her guide me down the hall and knock on the door, calling, “Joanna Beth, Samuel!”

A pretty girl with blonde hair and dark brown eyes—she totally would’ve been my type had I been hetero—peeks out, rolling her eyes. “Mom, it’s _Jo_. And Sam. And wha’d’you want?”

Ellen nods sideways to me. “You said _Sam_ was waiting on Cas?”

Jo’s eyes widen and land on me. “Oh, hi.”

I give her a shy smile, keeping my gaze down but looking up at her. I purposefully train my eyes on her face, making sure she doesn’t think I’m admiring her body. “Hi.”

Jo releases the door and it swings a little open. “Mom, let him go. You’re probably scaring him, he doesn’t even know you. Jeez.”

Ellen’s arm disappears and Jo gestures invitingly, sidestepping to give me space to move into the room.

I slip in, taking in the small room with the clothes and blankets all over the floor. It’s a lot cozier and more inviting than the dungeons of rooms in my house. A single room in the mansion would be about half the entire house Jo lives in. For some reason, I feel a twinge of guilt over that.

Jo shuts the door, offering me a small smile. “I wasn’t really expecting company other than Sam, I hope you don’t mind the mess.”

I shrug, dodging around a blanket. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s a lot smaller than my house, but not in a bad way. I’m used to mansions and castles. Not even kidding. It’s all echoey and since I basically have no friends it’s kinda lonely.”

For some reason, I trust her immediately, relaxed enough to chatter a little about my own life. Jo grins, eyes twinkling. “ _Castles?_ Aw, that’s so cool.”

“Not as cool as Dean’s friend being a nerd like me,” a young man’s voice sounds from next to me.

I look up, remembering how tall Sam was compared to me. He’s at least a head taller now— _how is he still growing?—_ and has this big and goofy smile on his face. “Hi.”

Jo rolls her eyes, gesturing upward. “Of course there’s the big, friendly, giant nerd.”

Sam sits down and shrinks in half. I can see his face without craning my neck now, even though he’s still almost just as tall as me while he’s sitting as I am while standing. “Oh shut up, you know you love me.”

Jo grins, smacking his shoulder. “Only because you can watch Harry Potter and stuff like that without complaining.”

Sam grins back, ruffling her hair. “Of course I can, Harry Potter’s awesome. I grew up on the stuff. Dean read it to me while I was little.”

Jo swats his hand away. “Stop that!”

He chuckles, a deep-bellied and low-voiced laugh. “Make me.”

Jo sighs, shaking her head. “You’re impossible. So Cas, how’s Dean?”

A tense silence falls and Sam’s smile disappears, a nagging worry replacing it and weighing him down.

I swallow, thinking about how to answer that. “Well, he’s unconscious so he’s not really in any pain. He...well, it’s hard to describe because he specifically wanted to tell you who himself, but...well, I’ll say this: he was punched repeatedly and his ribs were sat on by a three-hundred, three-hundred-and-fifty pound guy, so...I hope he’s okay, but I honestly don’t know. He said himself that his ribs and lungs were burning just before he passed out, so it’s at least broken if not fractured into his lung.”

There’s a pause while the tension builds before Jo hisses, “ _Who did that to him?_ ”

I wince. “Um...well, Dean himself wanted to say that? I will say Kevin pulled the guy off and since I got a video of it, as Dean and I planned, he’s gonna be in trouble with the law. Once Dean recovers enough he can tell you who it was and why, though I’m pretty sure you’re smart enough to piece it together without me having to say a name or anything.”

Sam nods slowly. “It was Dad, wasn’t it? Dean said we had to talk about him.”

I grimace, just wordlessly dropping my head. “I won’t confirm it, but...I won’t say you’re wrong, either.”

Sam sighs and Jo gasps. “Wait, _John_ did this?”

I lift my head enough to catch her eye. “I’m not going to try and explain it, but yes. Dean seems to understand a lot better than I do. It seems the loss of Mary turned him into an alcoholic and he’s a...as Dean described it, a ‘violent drunk’. He told Dean he would rather Dean had died and not Mary, that night, and Dean told him that he’d rather it had never happened, since Mary’s his mother.”

Sam shakes his head wordlessly and Jo’s eyes widen. “He pulled that card?”

I shrug. “I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but yes. And the more Dean backed down and the more he groaned, the worse John actually got. It makes no sense.”

Sam winces, rubbing his eyes. “So you said you’re dad’s a doctor?”

I nod slowly, pushing back a wave of anxiety as the conversation turns back to me. “Yeah, and my mom’s a paramedic. Works out pretty well. Mom took Dean and me to the hospital the first time and Dad took care of both of us. Dean was more shaken than anything, especially hearing Raphael laughing.”

Sam scowls. “Raphael? I remember him.”

I flinch. “Dean mentioned he’d had a few run-ins with them before.”

Jo frowns, her voice softening like I’m fragile or something. “ _Them_? There was more than one?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Obviously, yes. Uriel, Gadreel, Lucifer, Raphael. And...”

I drift off, shaking my head. Sam reaches out to touch my shoulder. “I know most of them. And who?”

I swallow. “Michael.”

Sam tilts his head. “You knew him?”

I drop my gaze, and suddenly the space is a little too small. _Breathe through it. It’s just a...a_ _minor_ _panic attack. Just get the words out, it’ll be fine. Dean’s okay, of course Sam will be. And Ellen was really nice, so was Jo. Come on, breathe. It’s okay._

I swallow past the lump in my throat, managing to calm somewhat. “Yeah, I know him.”

Jo’s hand brushes mine and I try not to jump. As is, I still flinch. “Cas?”

I grind my teeth together, ignoring the thunder in my ears and reminding myself it’s not as loud to them.

Sam pulls me closer, his gentle and knowing touch calming me more than Jo’s therapist-like touch. I’ve had enough of those for panic attacks to know when I’m around one. “Cas, you okay?”

I swallow hard, closing my eyes. _Breathe. Breathe._

I manage to force out, “Not really,” in a shaky and uneven voice.

Sam pulls me down next to him, carefully wrapping his arms around me. “Hey, breathe with me. Relax.”

I struggle for several minutes to match his breathing and finally manage it, most of the tension easing away.

I blink my eyes open, keeping my eyes downcast and off of Jo. I know she’ll have that sympathetic look on her face the therapists always have in situations like this. Sam is much easier to handle when I’m like this.

Sam lifts my head towards him, genuine worry in his eyes. “Hey, you okay?”

I release my breath slowly and drag in another, answering honestly, “Better.”

Sam’s thumb brushes along my jaw, catching the single tear that fell. “Michael’s more than just some kid at school, isn’t he? I know that look. He was your friend?”

I shake my head and pause. “Well, not exactly. He’s my older brother. He used to take care of me and my sister Anna, but when Gabriel—our older brother—disappeared to college he just kinda fell to pieces and took it out on me. He just neglected Anna and she ended up going her separate way.”

Sam wraps his arms back around me. “But aren’t big brothers _supposed_ to take care of their little siblings?”

I shrug helplessly. “That word again. _Supposed to_ , yes. _Should._ But do they? Not really. Gabe takes care of all of us, always has since Michael was first born. Then Anna, then me. He never shifted his attention, just divided his time between us. He’s only been gone this school year for...almost four months now and Michael is just....I don’t know, _angry_? Neglected, I suppose. I don’t get it. Last year he was okay until just before Gabriel was coming home for the summer. Once Gabe was home, he was tame. But as soon as he left, he got bitter and neglected Anna and I. I asked him about it and he just exploded at me.”

Jo kneels down, that knowing-and-sympathetic therapist expression weighing down her face. “But why? Did he even explain himself?”

I shake my head. “He said it was none of my business or Anna’s and to leave him alone. That was the first time he hit me. He just never stopped after that. He got even worse because I _looked at_ his girlfriend once during class and when he confronted me about it...I said I wasn’t interested, because I’m not.”

I take a deep breath, steadying myself. “ _Because_ I’m homo. And he exploded at me. If Dean hadn’t’ve heard me I don’t think I would’ve survived. I don’t know. Michael just didn’t stop. Raphael was _laughing_.”

Jo gasps sympathetically and goes for water.

I shake my head, noticing that Sam didn’t pull away when I brought it up. _That’s more healing than Jo’s extreme sympathy is, for sure. The support, not the melodramatic sympathy and worry. I don’t need another damn therapist, I just need a friend to be there for me._

I close my eyes. “She’s just like a therapist. Like, no offense, but it doesn’t help. It just makes it worse. I would know, I’ve dealt with hundreds of them and they’re all the same. You’re helping just by not pulling away like most people do when I bring that up.”

Sam tightens his grip around me. “Hey, just cause you’re homo doesn’t change who you are. I’m, like, ninety percent sure Dean’s bi and he’s _totally_ cool. Besides, it’s not like you’re expressing an explicit interest in me specifically just by _mentioning_ your sexuality. I happen to be hetero, and I do have a girlfriend—not Jo, her name’s Jess—but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get it. It’s not some lifestyle choice, it’s...it’s just who you _are_. It’s a necessary piece of your life that builds your experiences and friendships with honesty and trust in ways that most people don’t get. I’m not gonna pull away cause I’m not homophobic like some assholes are.”

I feel my tension easing away, the shaking slowing. “Dean said that John beat him up when he came out as bi. He never told you because he didn’t want you confronting him, but he did try and tell him. While he was drunk, probably, knowing what Dean already said about him.”

Sam scoffs. “He’d better have a damn good explanation.”

I pause, thinking about the way Dean talks about Sam. “I wouldn’t be so quick if I were you. He told me that he had to keep John away from you, keep him from abusing you, too. He’s done a lot more for you than it seems at first glance. He works jobs, he goes without food if it means you eat, he loses sleep worrying over you, and he stands between you and John when he needs to.”

Sam blinks. “Cas, seriously, how are you doing that? He barely just met you and he’s opening up to you just like that. No matter what I do, I can’t get him to talk.”

I shrug, sighing. I try to make it sound just tired—it’s been one hell of a long day—but I know there’s relief there, too. Sam actually is calming me, even if he’s not trying. It’s working.

I answer honestly, “I have no idea. I just ask questions that encourage him to keep going once I get him talking. I suppose Michael being my big brother and still... _involved_ strikes a particular chord in him, and the fact that my dad is...well, a _dad_ , whereas you both kinda lost your dad a long time ago. I’m not sure how I get him talking, but once he starts he needs repetitive encouragement to keep going.”

Sam nods slowly, chewing on his lip. “Okay. Hey, you’ve stopped shaking.”

I let a small smile tug at one corner of my mouth. “You do realize you’re the first person to not...panic? Over...you know. That’s....a big thing, and it’s helping a lot. Most people treat me like I’m broken and fragile, and I’m not. I’ve grown strong and smart and I can tell when I’m in a therapist-patient situation. You’re treating me like a _person_ , keeping in mind I do have feelings while still not babying me. That’s why none of the stupid therapy sessions did anything. They just babied me, they never treated me my age. You’d think I was five years old for all of it with how they treated me, but it lasted till just about a year ago.”

Sam scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You’re not stupid, and you’re not five either. You’re, like, Dean’s age? Fifteen?”

I consider that, counting the years. I don’t really keep track since we stopped celebrating—when I was nine—so it takes a moment. “I think so. Probably.”

Sam tilts his head curiously. “You don’t know your own age?”

I shrug casually. “We haven’t celebrated since I was nine. And that was, come to think of it, the year I came out to my family. Which is...odd? I stopped keeping track. I just counted the years by school years and my grade, so I could say ‘about fifteen or sixteen’. I don’t really know.”

Sam slips his fingers through mine—it’s in a friendly way, and not a therapist way or a boyfriend type of way; just friends, nothing more. “That’s stupid. That’s gotta be fixed. Have you brought that up, like, ever?”

I shake my head, letting my hand close on his. “Once with my older brother Gabriel, but not with anyone else and only about twice now since then. Michael wasn’t complaining, _he_ still insisted on celebrating his birthday. I mean, I had no one to celebrate with but family and when you’re all stuck in a too-big house together that gets kinda old but...he celebrated, Gabe celebrated, Anna celebrated. I just fell off the calendars.”

Sam squeezes my hand. “That’s B.S., we’re fixing that.”

Jo reappears, handing me a glass of water. “I had to get past Mom asking all about Dean, sorry I took so long.”

Sam shrugs. “It’s cool. We’ve just been talking, mostly about Dean and I. You didn’t miss much.”

I notice Sam purposely doesn’t mention the birthday, which he seemed to find shocking and wrong. I accept the water wordlessly, drinking it slowly and wetting my dry throat.

Jo lifts it easily from my hands once the cup’s empty, vanishing again.

As soon as she’s gone, Sam visibly relaxes. “You’re right, she _is_ acting like a therapist. Damn. She probably told Ellen about Michael, knowing her, which is annoying.”

I bite my lip. “You didn’t mention my birthday or anything.”

Sam shrugs. “She’s got a big mouth—her mom asks, she gets told what she wants to know. She doesn’t need to know about it. You wanna go, while she’s vanished?”

I blink. “Isn’t that rude?”

“Not in this situation, with Dean and all.” Sam raises an eyebrow. “He’s my big brother, and a good one.”

Sam stands, pulling me to my feet and maneuvering  us out of the room. He calls as we pass a doorway, “Gonna go see Dean now!”

Ellen’s voice responds, “Gimme a call and tell me how he’s doing!”

Sam yells back, “Will do!”

And, just like that, we’re gone. I slide into the Impala, turning the keys.

Sam grins as the car purrs to life. “I’m kinda surprised Dean let anyone drive his Impala. It’s his baby.”

I flip around carefully, easing onto the gas and cruising towards the hospital. “He did say ‘you better be careful with my baby’ before he passed out, but he was unconscious so he didn’t have much say in it.”

Sam chuckles, rolling his eyes. “Sounds like him. He’s a mother hen, he’s always worrying. Even more than I already knew. You’re a lot calmer in the car than in the house.”

It’s an innocent enough comment, but I sense the question behind it nonetheless. _Why?_

I shrug, turning carefully out of the neighborhood. “Yeah, I know. Several reasons. It’s a little crowded compared to what I’m used to, Jo and Ellen are both overbearing, and the car is still...all Dean. Dean’s always calm, we balance each other out. I actually _can’t_ have a panic attack around him. I talked to him and when I’d normally panic—when people I don’t know dig about my life—I was completely calm. He kinda just had that effect on me. I don’t know how he does it, but he just does.”

Sam grins, eyes twinkling like stars in a night sky. “He has that effect on people, yeah. I suppose it makes sense.”

There’s a comfortable silence for a while before Sam breaks it. “Did he mention me? Before he passed out?”

I frown. “Well, when Kevin said you told him Dean might need some help, Dean said ‘Damn it, Sammy, I told him to stay outta this. Please, Kevin, _go_ and _don’t_ tell him what you just saw. I’ll tell him myself once this is over, I swear.’ He didn’t bring you up after that.”

Sam frowns, his brow furrowing as he echoes, “‘Once this is over’?”

I shrug. “Once he recovers? Once John is officially prosecuted? I think that’s what he meant.”

We pull into the parking lot and I park neatly as close as I can get, getting out and carefully shutting the door, limping a little and slipping up towards the doors.

Sam easily keeps up with me, catching me as I stumble a little. “Woah, easy. Cool it, you’re gonna make your broken foot worse.”

I slow a little and we slip in the doors. Dad is leaning against the wall by the doors looking exhausted, talking quietly to Mom with a worried expression.

I take Sam’s hand and pull him over. “Mom, Dad.”

They turn and the worry disappears as Dad’s eyes land on me. “Castiel!”

Sam gives them a shy smile, slouching a little so they’re closer to his height. They smile back, giving me a prompting look: _who is he?_

I incline my head, obliging, “Sam, this is my mom and dad. Mom, Dad, this is Dean’s little brother Sam.”

Dad smiles warmly at Sam. “Hello! Your brother speaks very highly of you, nice to meet you.”

Sam blushes rose pink, grinning back. “Hi.”

Mom ruffles his hair. “Hello. I’m Naomi, and this is Eli.”

Sam inclines his head, smiling at her. “Hi.”

Dad nods towards the doors. “He just woke up a couple minutes ago. Shall we?”

Mom offers us a smile. “I’ve gotta go. It’s nice to meet you, Sam. And Cas...for God’s sake, stay off that damn foot. It won’t heal if you walk all over on it.”

Dad shrugs as she walks away. “Come on, let’s go.”

We dive into the hall, following Dad back to Dean. Sam’s worry grows enormously as we walk until he’s almost bouncing on his toes, anxious to reach his brother.

Finally we step into the room and Sam is at Dean’s side in an instant, gasping his name. “ _Dean!_ ”


	6. Young Tatter-clothed Boy (Ellen's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellen's POV of Cas arriving and the short trip from the front door to Jo's room, and it shows how she thinks of and feels about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellen's POV! First time I've ever written her, but I think it's pretty good. It's a short piece but it shows Ellen's opinion of Cas and it's kinda cute. :)

A soft knock echoes through the house and I make my way to the front door to answer it.

I pull the door open and look down upon a ragged-clothed and small boy. “Hello.”

His clothes are old and a little too small, torn here and there from overuse. The faded ACDC symbol on his shirt is chipping off. His pants are frayed and unraveling. His head is angled down and he looks up at me from under his eyelashes, shy and tense.

The kid shifts his weight and my eyes are drawn to the cast on his foot. Somehow, this registers him as the Cas who called Sam a little while earlier, and I offer him a small smile, stepping aside. “You must be Cas, come in.”

He bites his lip, slipping past me uneasily. His eyes travel curiously around the house for a while before falling back down again.

I put a gentle arm around his shoulders and he stiffens, drawing his shoulders in.

Knowingly, I introduce myself in a soft voice, “My name is Ellen, I’m Jo’s mom.”

Cas relaxes a little, glancing up at me. Some of his tension eases before I nod to the foot, asking gently, “What happened?”

He winces, and clears his throat nervously. “My brother.”

I feel my eyes widen. “ _What?_ ”

Cas bites his lip lightly, wincing again. “My brother Michael. As my father’s been reminding both of us repeatedly, Dean saved my life.”

I shake my head, bewildered. “Your _brother_? But shouldn’t family take care of you?”

Cas shrugs, his eyes down towards his feet and layers of hurt filming his eyes. “ _Should_ , yes. Do they? Not all the time. Michael just...stopped. Gabriel does, and he’s older brother to both Michael and I. Michael’s...still my older brother, but it’s Gabriel who takes care of me.”

I frown. _His older brother caused him pain?_ “But he _broke_ _your foot?_ ”

Cas winces, biting down hard on his lip—he does that often when he’s nervous or scared, I notice. “Him and his friends at school. And my ribs are bruised.”

I scoff. “That’s...hell, I’d kick his ass for that.”

A small, shy smile lifts the corners of his mouth. “Well, Dean already took care of that. They fought a bit and he got them in the campus cop cars so they’re all in jail. Doesn’t reverse the damage, but it does mean he saved my life. Raphael was trying to choke me out when Dean pulled him off. I’m trying to return the favor best as I can, but Dean’s not very willing. I did help resolve a pretty big thing, but it did mean Dean got hurt pretty bad.”

I shake my head, using the half-embrace to guide him down the hall towards Jo’s room. “That’s _terrible_. Joanna Beth and Samuel are in there.”

He lets me guide him gently down the hall and knock on the door, calling, “Joanna Beth, Samuel!”

Jo peeks out, rolling her eyes. Cas sucks in a small breath, biting the inside of his cheek. “Mom, it’s _Jo_ . And _Sam_. And wha’d’you want?”

I nod to the boy. “You said Sam was waiting on Cas?”

Jo’s eyes widen and land on Cas. “Oh, hi.”

Cas offers her a shy smile, keeping his head down but looking up at her. His eyes train knowingly on her face, making sure she doesn’t think he’s admiring her body—thoughtful of him. “Hi.”

Jo releases the door and it swings a little open. “Mom, let him go. You’re probably scaring him, he doesn’t even _know_ _you_. Jeez.”

I withdraw my arm and Jo gestures invitingly, sidestepping to give him space to move into the room. He darts inside like a frightened rabbit and Jo closes the door behind him, and they begin to talk in low voices.

I withdraw to the kitchen, busying myself with the dirty dishes to get my mind off how scared and shy the kid was. Something is seriously wrong, not that I know _what_ it is. Maybe I’ll find out later, on his terms.


	7. Cas (Jo's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same piece as Ellen and Cas, but from Jo's POV. Shows her conversation with Ellen and mentions that Ellen called Dean 'as good as my son' and wanted to know how he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jo's POV, first time I've ever written her. I think it's pretty good. :) While writing this part (in all POVs: Cas', Ellen's, Jo's, and Sam's), I was listening to Bad Day by Daniel Powter. I would suggest listening to it while reading. XD

“Joanna Beth, Samuel!”

I peek out the door, giving her the famous irritated eye roll. “Mom, it’s _Jo_ . And _Sam_. And wha’d’you want?”

Ellen nods to a small boy next to her. “You said Sam was waiting on Cas?”

My eyes widen as I take the boy in. He’s had one hell of a day, if what Dean told Sam about him is true. “Oh, hi.”

Cas peeks up at me from under his eyelashes— _no way in hell that’s super adorable!_ —and offers a shy smile. He makes it obvious with his body language that he’s really nervous, but I can tell he’s carefully training his eyes on me and not my body—thoughtful of him.

I let the door handle go and it swings open a little. “Mom, let him go. You’re probably scaring him, he doesn’t even _know_ _you_. Jeez.”

Mom rolls her eyes but withdraws her arm. A little of the tension eases from his shoulders as soon as she does.

I sidestep to give him passage into the room, gesturing invitingly. He darts inside like a frightened rabbit and I close the door behind him. Mom withdraws into the kitchen, messing with the dishes loudly. “I wasn’t really expecting company other than Sam, I hope you don’t mind the mess.”

Cas shrugs, dodging around a discarded blanket. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s a lot smaller than my house, but not in a _bad_ way. I’m used to mansions and castles, not even kidding. It’s all echoey and since I basically have no friends it’s kinda lonely.”

I grin, amazed. _Dean’s new friend is really f-ing rich?_ “ _Castles?_ Aw, that’s so cool.”

Sam counters, “Not as cool as Dean’s friend being a nerd like me.”

Cas looks up, blinking. Sam’s at least a head taller than Cas, and Sam’s got his big, goofy smile on his face. “Hi.”

I roll my eyes, gesturing up towards Sam. “Of course there’s the big, friendly, giant _nerd_.”

Sam sits down and shrinks in half. “Oh shut up, you know you love me.”

I grin, smacking his shoulder. “Only because _you_ can watch Harry Potter and stuff like that without complaining.”

Sam grins back, ruffling my hair. “Of course I can, Harry Potter’s awesome. I grew up on the stuff. Dean read it to me while I was little.”

I swat his hand away. “Stop that!”

Sam chuckles, a deep-bellied and amused laugh. “Make me.”

I sigh, shaking my head. “You’re _impossible_. So Cas, how’s Dean?”

A tense silence falls and Sam’s smile disappears, a nagging worry replacing it and weighing him down.

Cas swallows, the gears in his head turning as he considers the question. “Well, he’s unconscious so he’s not really in any pain. He...well, it’s hard to describe because he specifically wanted to tell you who himself, but...well, I’ll say this: he was punched repeatedly and his ribs were sat on by a three-hundred, three-hundred-and-fifty pound guy, so...I hope he’s okay, but I honestly don’t know. He said himself that his ribs and lungs were burning just before he passed out, so it’s at least broken if not fractured into his lung.”

There’s a pause while the tension builds before I hiss urgently, “ _Who did that to him?_ ”

Cas winces, chewing on his cheek. “Um...well, Dean himself wanted to say that? I will say Kevin pulled the guy off and since I got a video of it, as Dean and I planned, he’s gonna be in trouble with the law. Once Dean recovers enough he can tell you who it was and why, though I’m pretty sure you’re smart enough to piece it together without me having to say a name or anything.”

Sam nods slowly. “It was Dad, wasn’t it? Dean said we had to talk about him.”

Cas grimaces, wordlessly dropping his head. “I won’t confirm it, but...I won’t say you’re _wrong_ , either.”

Sam sighs as I gasp, “Wait, _John_ did this?”

Cas lifts his head just enough to meet my eye. “I’m not going to try and explain it, but yes. Dean seems to understand a lot better than I do. It seems the loss of Mary turned him into an alcoholic and he’s a...as Dean described it, a ‘violent drunk’. He told Dean he would rather Dean had died and not Mary, that night, and Dean told him that he’d rather it had never happened, since Mary’s his mother.”

Sam shakes his head wordlessly and my eyes widen as I prompt, “He pulled _that_ card?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but yes. And the more Dean backed down and the more he groaned, the worse John actually got. It makes no sense.”

Sam winces, rubbing his eyes. “So you said you’re dad’s a doctor?”

Cas nods slowly, a bubble of anxiety drifting across his face. “Yeah, and my mom’s a paramedic. Works out pretty well. Mom took Dean and me to the hospital the first time and Dad took care of both of us. Dean was more shaken than anything, especially hearing Raphael laughing.”

Sam scowls. “Raphael? I remember him.”

Cas flinches, agreeing, “Dean mentioned he’d had a few run-ins with them before.”

I frown, my voice softening. “ _Them_? There was more than one?”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “ _Obviously_ , yes. Uriel, Gadreel, Lucifer, Raphael. And...”

Cas drifts off, shaking his head. Sam reaches out to touch his shoulder. “I know most of them. And who?”

Cas swallows, spitting out, “Michael.”

Sam tilts his head. “You knew him?”

Cas drops his gaze, going stiff and shaky. He bites his lip, wincing, and swallows hard, calming down somewhat. “Yeah, I know him.”

My hand brushes his lightly and he flinches. “Cas?”

Cas grinds his teeth together, stiffening and leaning a little away from my touch.

Sam pulls Cas closer, and Cas relaxes just a little bit, though his eyes are still wide and fearful. “Cas, you okay?”

Cas swallows hard, closing his eyes. In a shaky and uneven voice, Cas manages to choke, “Not really.”

Sam pulls Cas down next to him, carefully wrapping his arms around him. “Hey, breathe with me. Relax.”

He struggles for several minutes to match Sam’s breathing and finally manages it, most of his tension easing away.

Cas blinks his eyes open, keeping them downcast and off of me.

Sam lifts Cas’ head towards him, worry in his eyes. “Hey, you okay?”

He releases the breath he’d been holding slowly and drags in another, replying softly, “Better.”

Sam’s thumb brushes along his jaw, catching the single tear that fell. “Michael’s more than just some kid at school, isn’t he? I know that look. He was your friend?”

He starts to shake his head but stops. “Well, not _exactly_. He’s my older brother. He used to take care of me and my sister Anna, but when Gabriel—our older brother—disappeared to college he just kinda fell to pieces and took it out on me. He just neglected Anna and she ended up going her separate way.”

Sam wraps his arms around Cas. “But aren’t big brothers _supposed_ to take care of their little siblings?”

Cas shrugs helplessly. “That word again. _Supposed to_ , yes. _Should._ But do they? Not really. Gabe takes care of all of us, always has since Michael was first born. Then Anna, then me. He never shifted his attention, just divided his time between us. He’s only been gone this school year for...almost four months now and Michael is just....I don’t know, _angry_? Neglected, I suppose. I don’t get it. Last year he was okay until just before Gabriel was coming home for the summer. Once Gabe was home, he was tame. But as soon as he left, he got bitter and neglected Anna and I. I asked him about it and he just exploded at me.”

I kneel down so I can see his face. “But _why_? Did he even explain himself?”

Cas shakes his head in answer. “He said it was none of my business or Anna’s and to leave him alone. That was the first time he hit me. He just never stopped after that. He got even worse because I _looked at_ his girlfriend once during class and when he confronted me about it...I said I wasn’t interested, because I’m not.”

He takes a deep breath, continuing, “ _Because_ I’m homo. And he exploded at me. If Dean hadn’t’ve heard me I don’t think I would’ve survived. I don’t know. Michael just didn’t stop. Raphael was _laughing_.”

I gasp and go to get him water, slipping out of the room and heading for the kitchen.

Mom looks up. “How is he?”

I shrug, filling a glass with water. “Considering he just had a panic attack and Sam’s trying to calm him down, I’m not sure. Apparently he lives in castles and mansions, the kid’s hella rich.”

Mom frowns. “Then why is he wearing tattered clothes?”

I pause. “Good question, I don’t know.”

Mom sighs. “Poor kid looked terrified when I opened the door. Something’s seriously wrong, not that I know what it is. It’s driving me crazy. You’d think he was _my_ son with how worried I am.”

I shrug. “Could be that he’s had one hell of a long day. His brother—and his brother’s friends—beating him up, Dean saving his life from Raphael _and his brother_ , Dean being unconscious. He’s certainly worried about Dean himself, since Dean saved his life.”

“True,” Mom agrees, sighing. “I just wish there was something I could do.”

I shrug again, turning to head back. “So do I.”

I disappear, reentering the room and handing him the water. “I had to get past Mom asking all about Dean, sorry I took so long.”

Sam shrugs. “It’s cool. We’ve just been talking, mostly about Dean and I. You didn’t miss much.”

Cas accepts the water wordlessly, drinking it slowly and glancing curiously at Sam.

I lift it from his hands once it’s empty, vanishing again.

Minutes later, Sam calls, “Gonna go see Dean now!”

Mom yells back, “Gimme a call and tell me how he’s doing!”

Sam yells back, “Will do!”

And, just like that, we’re alone. The Impala purrs to life outside and pulls away, and Sam texts quickly to me.

**_7:03PM –_ **

**_Sorry we left so abruptly but...my big brother’s hurt and he might be conscious by now. I’ll let you know how he’s doing once I know!_ **

I roll my eyes, firing back quickly.

**_(7:04PM)_ **

**_It’s cool, just let us know how he is. Mom says Dean’s ‘as good as my son’, so she’s all worried about him._ **

I pocket my phone. “Sam said Dean might be conscious by now, which is why they left.”

Mom nods absently. “Okay.”

I shake my head, leaving and flopping down face-first on my bed. It’s been a damn long day.


	8. Cas and Dean (Sam's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's POV from when Cas enters Jo's room to when Sam enters the ER and sees Dean. This one is longer than Jo and Ellen since I've done Sam before so he's easier to write. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam's POV. Still suggest listening to Bad Day by Daniel Powter on this chapter.

Jo moves aside and a small boy moves into the room. I’ve seen him around school before, but we never really talked. _Castiel, I think his name is. Then why’s Dean calling him Cas? He already give him a nickname?_

Jo shuts the door behind him, offering Cas a small smile. “I wasn’t really expecting company other than Sam, I hope you don’t mind the mess.”

Cas shrugs, dodging around a blanket and scanning the room curiously. “Nah, it’s okay. It’s a lot smaller than my house, but not in a bad way. I’m used to mansions and castles, not even kidding. It’s all echoey and since I basically have no friends it’s kinda lonely.”

Jo grins, eyes twinkling with delight. “ _Castles?_ Aw, that’s so cool.”

I grin. “Not as cool as Dean’s friend being _a_ _nerd_ like me.”

Cas looks up, eyes wide. “Hi.”

Jo rolls her eyes, gesturing up. “Of course there’s the big, friendly, giant _nerd_.”

I sit down and shrink in half, grinning, “Oh shut up, you know you love me.”

Jo grins, smacking my shoulder. “ _Only_ because you can watch Harry Potter and stuff like that without complaining.”

I grin back, ruffling her hair playfully. “Of course I can, Harry Potter’s awesome. I grew up on the stuff! Dean read it to me while I was little.”

Jo swats my hand away from her hair. “Stop that!”

I chuckle, “Make me.”

Jo sighs, shaking her head. “You’re impossible. So Cas, how’s Dean?”

A tense silence falls and my smile vanishes, worry replacing my false bravado.

Cas swallows, considering the question. “Well, he’s unconscious so he’s not really in any pain. He...well, it’s hard to describe because he specifically wanted to tell you who himself, but...well, I’ll say this: he was punched repeatedly and his ribs were sat on by a three-hundred, three-hundred-and-fifty pound guy, so...I hope he’s okay, but I honestly don’t know. He said himself that his ribs and lungs were burning just before he passed out, so it’s at least broken if not fractured into his lung.”

There’s a pause while the tension builds before Jo hisses, “ _Who did that to him?_ ”

He winces. “Um...well, Dean himself wanted to say that? I will say Kevin pulled the guy off and since I got a video of it, as Dean and I planned, he’s gonna be in trouble with the law. Once Dean recovers enough he can tell you who it was and why, though I’m pretty sure you’re smart enough to piece it together without me having to say a name or anything.”

I nod slowly. _Of course._ “It was Dad, wasn’t it? Dean said we had to talk about him.”

Cas grimaces, wordlessly dropping his head. “I won’t confirm it...but I won’t say you’re wrong, either.”

I sigh while Jo gasps, “Wait, _John_ did this?”

Cas lifts his head enough to catch her eye. “I’m not going to try and explain it, but yes. Dean seems to understand a lot better than I do. It seems the loss of Mary turned him into an alcoholic and he’s a...as Dean described it, a ‘violent drunk’. He told Dean he would rather Dean had died and not Mary, that night, and Dean told him that he’d rather it had never happened, since Mary’s his mother.”

I shake my head, at a loss for words, as Jo’s eyes widen. “He pulled _that_ card?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t know if it’s normal or not, but yes. And the more Dean backed down and the more he groaned, the worse John actually got. It makes no sense.”

I wince, rubbing my eyes. _Why didn’t he tell me about this?_ “So you said you’re dad’s a doctor?”

Cas nods slowly, frowning. “Yeah, and my mom’s a paramedic. Works out pretty well. Mom took Dean and me to the hospital the first time and Dad took care of both of us. Dean was more shaken than anything, especially hearing Raphael laughing.”

I scowl, shaking my head. “Raphael? I remember him.”

Cas flinches. “Dean mentioned he’d had a few run-ins with them before.”

Jo frowns, her voice softening like he’s fragile and weak. “ _Them_? There was more than one?”

Cas raises an eyebrow in challenge. “ _Obviously_ , yes. Uriel, Gadreel, Lucifer, Raphael. And...”

He stops, shaking his head. I reach out to touch his shoulder. “I know most of them. And who?”

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows. “Michael.”

I tilt my head curiously. “You knew him?”

Cas drops his gaze. _What the hell? It’s like he’s embarrassed or something._

Cas swallows hard, murmuring, “Yeah, I know him.”

Jo’s hand brushes Cas’ and he nearly jumps, flinching away. “Cas?”

He grits his teeth and I pull Cas closer. “Cas, you okay?”

Cas swallows hard, closing his eyes. In a shaky and uneven voice, Cas manages to choke, “Not really...”

I pull Cas down next to me, carefully wrapping my arms around him. “Hey, breathe with me. Relax.”

Cas struggles for several minutes to match my breathing and manages it at last, most of his tension easing away. Finally Cas blinks his eyes open, sighing.

I lift his head towards me so I can see his face. “Hey, you okay?”

Cas releases a breath slowly and drags in another, answering honestly, “Better.”

My thumb brushes along his jaw, catching a tear that fell. “Michael’s more than just some kid at school, isn’t he? I know that look. He was your friend?”

He starts to shake his head but stops, frowning. “Well, not exactly. He’s my older brother. He used to take care of me and my sister Anna, but when Gabriel—our older brother—disappeared to college he just kinda fell to pieces and took it out on me. He just neglected Anna and she ended up going her separate way.”

I wrap my arms back around him. “But aren’t big brothers _supposed_ to take care of their little siblings?”

Cas shrugs almost helplessly. “That word again. _Supposed to_ , yes. _Should._ But do they? Not really. Gabe takes care of all of us, always has since Michael was first born. Then Anna, then me. He never shifted his attention, just divided his time between us. He’s only been gone this school year for...almost four months now and Michael is just....I don’t know, _angry_? Neglected, I suppose. I don’t get it. Last year he was okay until just before Gabriel was coming home for the summer. Once Gabe was home, he was tame. But as soon as he left, he got bitter and neglected Anna and I. I asked him about it and he just exploded at me.”

Jo kneels down. “But why? Did he even explain himself?”

Cas shakes his head. “He said it was none of my business or Anna’s and to leave him alone. That was the first time he hit me. He just never stopped after that. He got even worse because I _looked at_ his girlfriend once during class and when he confronted me about it...I said I wasn’t interested, because I’m not.”

He takes a deep breath, finishing, “ _Because_ I’m homo. And he exploded at me. If Dean hadn’t’ve heard me I don’t think I would’ve survived. I don’t know. Michael just didn’t stop. Raphael was _laughing_.”

Jo gasps exaggeratedly and goes for water.

Cas shakes his head, closing his eyes. “She’s just like a therapist. Like, no offense, but it doesn’t help. It just makes it worse. I would know; I’ve dealt with hundreds of them and they’re all the same. You’re helping just by not pulling away like most people do when I bring that up.”

I tighten my grip on him. “Hey, just cause you’re homo _doesn’t_ change who you are. I’m, like, ninety percent sure Dean’s bi and he’s totally cool. Besides, it’s not like you’re expressing an explicit interest in me specifically just by _mentioning_ your sexuality. I happen to be hetero, and I do have a girlfriend—not Jo, her name’s Jess—but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get it. It’s not some lifestyle choice, it’s...it’s just who you _are_ . It’s a necessary piece of your life that builds your experiences and friendships with honesty and trust in ways that most people don’t get. I’m not gonna pull away cause I’m _not_ homophobic like some assholes are.”

His tension is slowly easing away, the shaking slowing down. “Dean said that John beat him up when he came out as bi. He never told you because he didn’t want you confronting him, but he did try and tell him. While he was drunk, probably, knowing what Dean already said about him.”

I scoff, frustrated. “He’d better have a damn good explanation.”

Cas pauses, frowning and thinking. “I wouldn’t be so quick if I were you. He told me that he had to keep John away from you, keep him from abusing you, too. He’s done a lot more for you than it seems at first glance. He works jobs, he goes without food if it means you eat, he loses sleep worrying over you, and he stands between you and John when he needs to.”

I blink. _How did you get him to tell you that?_ “Cas, seriously, how are you doing that? He barely _just met you_ and he’s opening up to you just like that. No matter _what_ I do, I can’t get him to talk.”

Cas shrugs, sighing. The sigh is tired but there’s relief there, too. Cas answers quietly, “I have no idea. I just ask questions that encourage him to keep going once I get him talking. I suppose Michael being my big brother and still... _involved_ strikes a particular chord in him, and the fact that my dad is...well, a _dad_ , whereas you both kinda lost your dad a long time ago. I’m not sure how I get him talking, but once he starts he needs repetitive encouragement to keep going.”

I nod slowly, chewing on my lip. “Okay. Hey, you’ve stopped shaking.”

A small and tentative smile tugs at one corner of his mouth. “You do realize you’re the first person to not...panic? Over...you know. That’s....a big thing, and it’s helping a lot. Most people treat me like I’m broken and fragile, and I’m not. I’ve grown strong and smart and I can tell when I’m in a therapist-patient situation. You’re treating me like a _person_ , keeping in mind I do have feelings while still not babying me. That’s why none of the stupid therapy sessions did anything. They just babied me, they never treated me my age. You’d think I was five years old for all of it with how they treated me, but it lasted till just about a year ago.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes. “You’re not stupid, and you’re not five either. You’re, like, Dean’s age? Fifteen?”

It takes a moment for him to think it over. “I think so. Probably.”

I tilt my head curiously. “You don’t know your own age?”

Cas tries to shrug casually but still looks upset by that. “We haven’t celebrated since I was nine. And that was, come to think of it, the year I came out to my family. Which is...odd? I stopped keeping track. I just counted the years by school years and my grade, so I could say ‘about fifteen or sixteen’. I don’t really know.”

I take his hand in mine supportively. “That’s stupid. That’s gotta be fixed. Have you brought that up, like, ever?”

Cas shakes his head, his hand closing on mine. “Once with my older brother Gabriel, but not with anyone else and only about twice now since then. Michael wasn’t complaining, _he_ still insisted on celebrating his birthday. I mean, I had no one to celebrate with but family and when you’re all stuck in a too-big house together that gets kinda old but...he celebrated, Gabe celebrated, Anna celebrated. I just fell off the calendars.”

I squeezes his hand. “That’s B.S., we’re fixing that.”

Jo reappears, handing Cas a glass of water. “I had to get past Mom asking all about Dean, sorry I took so long.”

I shrug casually. “It’s cool. We’ve just been talking, mostly about Dean and I. You didn’t miss much.”

I purposely doesn’t mention his birthday, which—despite being shocking and wrong—is none of Jo and Ellen’s business unless Cas decides to mention it. Cas accepts the water wordlessly, drinking it slowly.

Jo lifts the cup easily from Cas’ hands once it’s empty, vanishing again. As soon as she’s gone, I relax. “You’re right, she _is_ acting like a therapist. Damn. She probably told Ellen about Michael, knowing her, which is annoying.”

Cas bites his lip. “You didn’t mention my birthday or anything.”

I shrug, yawning. “She’s got a big mouth—her mom asks, she gets told what she wants to know. She doesn’t need to know about it. You wanna go, while she’s vanished?”

Cas blinks, protesting shyly, “Isn’t that rude?”

“Not in this situation, with Dean and all.” I raise an eyebrow. “He’s my big brother, and a _good_ one.”

I stand, pulling him to his feet and maneuvering  us out of the room. I call as we pass the doorway to the kitchen, “Gonna go see Dean now!”

Ellen answers, “Gimme a call and tell me how he’s doing!”

I yell back, “Will do!”

Cas slides smoothly into the Impala, turning the keys.

I grin as the car purrs to life. “I’m kinda surprised Dean let anyone drive his Impala. It’s his baby.”

Cas flips around carefully, easing onto the gas and cruising towards the hospital. “He did say ‘you better be careful with my baby’ before he passed out, but he was unconscious so he didn’t have much say in it.”

I chuckle, rolling my eyes. _Sounds like Dean._ “Sounds like him. He’s a mother hen, he’s always worrying. Even more than I already knew. You’re a lot calmer in the car than in the house.”

Cas shrugs, turning carefully out of the neighborhood. “Yeah, I know. Several reasons. It’s a little crowded compared to what I’m used to, Jo and Ellen are both overbearing, and the car is still...all Dean. Dean’s always calm, we balance each other out. I actually _can’t_ have a panic attack around him. I talked to him and when I’d normally panic—when people I don’t know dig about my life—I was completely calm. He kinda just had that effect on me. I don’t know how he does it, but he just does.”

I grin, amused. “He has that effect on people, yeah. I suppose it makes sense.”

There’s a comfortable silence for a while before I break it to ask, “Did he mention me? Before he passed out?”

Cas frowns, sighing. “Well, when Kevin said you told him Dean might need some help, Dean said ‘Damn it, Sammy, I told him to stay outta this. Please, Kevin, _go_ and _don’t_ tell him what you just saw. I’ll tell him myself once this is over, I swear.’ He didn’t bring you up after that.”

I frown, repeating back, “‘Once this is over’?”

Cas shrugs. “Once he recovers? Once John is officially prosecuted? I _think_ that’s what he meant.”

We pull into the parking lot and Cas parks neatly as close as he can get to the doors, getting out and carefully shutting his door. He’s limping a little as we slip up towards the doors.

I easily keep up with him, catching him when he stumbles a little. “Woah, _easy_. Cool it, you’re gonna make your broken foot worse.”

Cas slows his pace a little and we slip in the doors. A young doctor is leaning against the wall by the doors to the hallway looking exhausted, talking quietly to a young paramedic with a worried expression gracing his face.

Cas takes my hand to guide me over to the two people. “Mom, Dad.”

They turn and the worry disappears as the doctor’s eyes land on Cas. “Castiel!”

I give them a shy smile, slouching a little so I’m closer to their height. His parents smile back, giving Cas a questioning look. Cas inclines his head, introducing, “Sam, this is my mom and dad. Mom, Dad, this is Dean’s little brother Sam.”

Dad smiles warmly at me. “Hello! Your brother speaks _very_ highly of you, nice to meet you.”

Heat floods my cheeks as I grin back. “Hi.”

Cas’ mom ruffles my hair. “Hello! I’m Naomi, and this is Eli.”

I incline his head, smiling shyly at her. “Hi.”

Eli nods towards the doors. “He just woke up a couple minutes ago. Shall we?”

Naomi offers us a smile. “I’ve gotta go. It’s nice to meet you, Sam. And Cas...for God’s sake, stay off that damn foot. It won’t heal if you walk all over on it.”

Eli shrugs as she walks away. “Come on, let’s go.”

We dive into the hall, following Cas’ father Eli back to Dean. My worry only builds as we walk until I’m almost bouncing on my toes in trying to contain myself, anxious to reach Dean.

Finally we step into the room.

Dean is bloody and his eyes are closed. I’m at Dean’s side in an instant, gasping his name. “ _Dean!_ ”


	9. Sammy and Cas (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam, Cas interacting in the hospital room. Naturally, Sam is pissed that Dean never told him about their dad and Dean has to tell him not to take his anger out on Cas. Cute fluff with Dean defending Cas to his brother. XD Ends with Cas going to get Dean ice (for his ribs).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV. Sam being an a$$ to both Dean and Cas. Cas being all cute and shy and blushing a lot. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! I was listening to Brave by Sara Bareilles (Blessed Unrest is the album) during this piece, I would suggest you listen to it while reading.

I close my eyes, the bright lights hurting my head.

The door opens and I sigh quietly, knowing who it is before he shouts my name. Sammy, it has to be. “ _ Dean! _ ”

I feel a hand on my mouth, wiping away some of the blood before his voice grows softer and more urgent. “Dean, Dean, Dean!”

A shy hand touches my arm, calming me somehow. “Dean.”

_ Even his voice is calm, damn. It’s Cas. _

I crack an eye open, my eyes finding Cas’. He does look worried, but not as much as Sam.

I run a hand over my face, rubbing the blood off on the white robe-thing I’m wearing.  _ When did I get one of those? Oh, whatever. Sam’s okay and so’s Cas, good. _

I shake my head, squinting. “Cas.”

Sam sighs loudly. “Oh my god, Dean, why didn’t you  _ tell _ me?”

I roll my eyes. “Sammy, I already told you why.”

Cas moves over towards the door and the lights are suddenly dimmer. I blink my eyes open the rest of the way, clenching my fists to keep from shaking.

Cas moves back over and nudges Sam. “I told you he’s fine.”

Sam shoots Cas a quick frown, shaking his head. “He’s not fine, he’s covered in blood!”

Cas sighs. “For him, that’s fine. Besides, he’s  _ conscious _ now, which is a start.”

I shake myself, yawning. “Cas is right, I’m fine. So how long was I out?”

Cas shrugs casually. “Only about an hour, give or take a few minutes.”

Sam shoots Cas a quelling look and I feel a twinge of muted anger over that. “That’s still far too long, Cas! He’s  _ my _ big brother, not yours.”

Cas flinches, moving back a step. “He saved my life, Sam. No, he’s not my brother, but I know exactly how you feel. Gabe’s gotten hurt protecting me before.”

While they’re arguing, I manage to sit up and give Sam my most irritated look. “Hey, Sammy, stop. Seriously, man, I’m fine. Just because I was out for an hour don’t mean anything. I’ve been out for an entire day before, this is nothing. Oh, and Cas, did you get the vid?”

Cas nods, a little of his tension easing. “Yeah, I did.”

I nod, rubbing my ribs. “Good. Look, Sam, the plan worked and that’s what matters. I get that you’re worried, I do. But that doesn’t mean you should go taking it out on Cas.”

Cas blushes a delicate shade of pink, ducking his head.

Sam glances at him and scowls. “You can’t order me around. I’m not a little kid anymore, Dean.”

I wince, biting my lip. “I’m not ordering you around, I know you’re not a little kid. But you’re still my brother, and I’m not gonna let you go around being a little shit to my friends.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “You _literally just met him_ , and he already counts as a friend?”

Cas’ blush deepens as I nod. “I didn’t literally just meet him, that was almost the whole day ago now—at least seven or eight hours—and even if I did, Sam, I saved his life. And he knows more about me than any of my friends ever have, than any of them  _ do _ . So yeah, he does count as a friend.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Right. So, what, he’s your newest obsession?”

Cas glances at Sam in surprise, blinking wordlessly.

I shrug casually. “I don’t  _ obsess _ , Sam. And if you’re mad at me, don’t take it out on him. I know I didn’t tell you about Dad and for most of your life it was because you’re too young. Well, that stopped being a valid excuse once you joined me in high school. But at that point...I couldn’t. You were independent enough you’d confront him, and I was worried he’d go after you. I’d been stopping him from going after you since you started mouthing off to him, I wasn’t about to let him go after you now.”

Sam’s eyes widen, just enough to be noticeable. “You could’ve  _ told me _ , Dean! I’m your brother, I would understand not to...oh, come on, don’t give me that.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really? Would you understand what he’s capable of? Would you understand  _ why _ you shouldn’t confront him, no matter how much you want to? No. So, yes, I didn’t tell you.”

Sam shakes his head and strides out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I shake my head, sighing.  _ I knew it. He’s even more mad than I expected, damn it. _

Cas shifts from foot to foot uneasily before piping up, “Why do you care if he’s like that?”

I look up, frowning. “Because I raised him better, and because you did kinda save my life. He can’t just take all his anger at  _ me _ out on  _ you _ , it’s not right. I don’t care  _ how _ angry he is so long as he doesn’t target other people. I knew he’d be angry, but  _ this _ angry...I wasn’t expecting that.”

Cas shifts his weight off the broken foot, a light blush still tingeing his cheeks and a frown gracing his face. “But he’s right, you literally just met me. Why do you  _ care _ if he comes after me? I’m used to being a target of everyone’s anger, it’s not like it’s something new.”

I shake my head, giving him my well-known bitchface. “Just cause you’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s okay, Cas.  _ Of course _ I care, you saved my life and helped take Dad down. Obviously I care if Sammy treats you like shit. You’re not a damn punching bag, even if Lucifer, Michael, Raphael and them all treated you like one.”

Cas winces, biting his lip and lacing his fingers nervously together. “I don’t really...have friends. Even Sam isn’t really, despite the fact that we’re both nerds. I’m not really used to people defending me, everyone I know just eggs the people on. No one likes me, they say I’m ‘just a spoiled rich kid’ but I’m not.”

_ He just opened up to me, _ I realize with a ripple of surprise. I tilt my head. “Hell no, you’re not. And whether or not the a-holes like it, you’ve got a friend now. I always defend my friends, even when it’s against someone who  _ thinks _ they’re my friend. A lot of people  _ think _ they’re my friend at school, but they sure as hell are  _ not _ cause they’re just bullies and I don’t associate with those types. Besides, you know way more about me than any of my friends do, and some of them have been my friend for going on seven or eight years now. None of them know about Dad, or defending Sammy, or Mom. You already know far more than most people have learned after hanging around me for a long time. You aren’t some spoiled rich kid, you’re just a shy guy who’s really awesome.”

Cas blushes scarlet, a tentative smile turning up his mouth. “You don’t know that.”

“Hey, just ‘cause you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re spoiled rotten.” I shrug, stretching and ignoring the protests from my tender ribs. “That’s a broad generalization that doesn’t apply to everyone, least of all you. Seriously, you’re wearing a tattered ACDC shirt and jeans, Cas, that’s not really a ‘I’m spoiled and rich’ sign. And ACDC does happen to be a great band.”

Cas’ blush deepens further, but he doesn’t say anything. I give him an inviting smile, sitting ‘criss-cross apple-sauce’ on the bed and rubbing my eyes. “Back in Black’s the best.”

Cas smiles nervously, moving back to my side. “The shirt’s a hand-me-down from Gabriel, though I do like a few of their songs. Namely Back in Black, but there’s a few others, too.”

I grin, chuckling. “The more I hear about him, the more convinced I am I’ll like him.”

Cas runs a hand through his hair. “You probably will, yeah.”

I yawn again, rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”

Cas checks his phone. “Um, it’s ten thirty. At night.”

I blink, raising an eyebrow. “Damn.”

Cas pockets his phone. “Mom and Dad get off work in half an hour.”

My mouth opens a little.  _ Oh yeah, Dad. Can’t go home and all. Well then. _ “Okay.”

Cas glances towards the door uneasily. “Do you want ice or something?”

I chew on my lip, considering the offer.  _ My ribs probably do need some icing, _ I decide at last. “Yeah.”

Cas disappears and I close my eyes, rubbing my ribs and allowing myself a tiny groan.


	10. ACDC and Sam (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to Cas' mansion (seriously, the MANSION is huge... XD) and talk a bit. Dean and Cas help each other up the many stairs. Ends with them all falling asleep (it's late at night).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV. Fluff. Cas being shy and blushing.
> 
> Listening to Brave by Sara Bareilles (still ^_^) during this chapter.

“Hey, just ‘cause you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re spoiled rotten.” Dean shrugs, stretching and wincing a little as he strains his ribs. “That’s a broad generalization that doesn’t apply to everyone, least of all you. Seriously, you’re wearing a tattered ACDC shirt and jeans, Cas, that’s not really a ‘I’m spoiled and rich’ sign. And ACDC does happen to be a great band.”

My blush deepens, but I don’t choke anything out. Dean offers an inviting smile, sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce on the bed and rubbing his eyes. “Back in Black’s the best.”

I smile uncertainly, moving back to his side. “The shirt’s a hand-me-down from Gabriel, though I do like a few of their songs. Namely Back in Black, but there’s a few others, too.”

Dean grins, chuckling, “The more I hear about him, the more convinced I am I’ll like him.”

I run a hand quickly through my hair. “You probably will, yeah.”

He yawns again, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

I check my phone. _Oh, wow._ “Um, it’s ten thirty. At night.”

Dean blinks, raising a startled eyebrow. “Damn.”

I pocket my phone. “Mom and Dad get off work in half an hour.”

Dean’s mouth opens a little in surprise and his eyes flash with uneasiness. “Okay.”

I glance uneasily towards the door. “Do you want ice or something?”

He chews on his lip, thinking it through with a hand over his ribs. “Yeah.”

I slip out, determined to try and calm Sam down as well.

I slip into the waiting room and Sam looks up, red rimming his eyes. _He’s been crying. I know that look._

I take a deep breath and move my feet forward, purposely letting my limp be more pronounced than need be to draw his eyes to it. The move works and his eyes flick to the boot and back up to my face.

I pause, jerking my head towards the door. “Sam, can we talk?”

He rises to his feet, shoving the door open with shaking hands. I slip out before the door shuts, checking that no one’s in earshot before turning to Sam.

Sam sighs, falling against the wall and muttering, “Sorry.”

I shake my head. “Sam, I know how you’re feeling. Doesn’t mean you should take it out on Dean or I. Honestly, if you want to be mad at someone...be mad at your father. For putting Dean through that, for putting him in there. But it’s not Dean’s fault he’s an alcoholic, or that he attacked him multiple times. That he tried to go after you but Dean wouldn’t let him. That’s not his fault. And he tried to be a good big brother, to make sure you had food and you were safe. He prioritized that _over his own needs_ , over his _own_ wants. He put all his energy into keeping you safe and never once worried about himself. That’s more than he technically should’ve done, more than he was obligated to do. He didn’t have to, but he did. If you wanna be mad about him not telling you, place that blame on John—it’s his fault that it happened at all, and Dean made a choice to keep your childhood innocent and abusive-dad-free. He didn’t get that luxury.”

Sam closes his eyes. “I know. I’m not mad he protected me, it’s just he never said a _word_ , no hints or clues or even just for him to say he’s okay when I know he’s not.”

I shrug. “That’s the way big brothers are. The good ones, anyway. Michael isn’t, but Gabriel is. Point is, that’s _normal_ for Dean. It’s not like he just suddenly started acting like that.”

Sam nods slowly, his lip trembling with more tears he’s holding back. “It just hurts. That he says he’s okay, always, and it was a lie. Maybe it’s what I needed to hear, but...he’s my brother, I don’t like seeing him hurt like that. Especially with him insisting he’s fine when I know he’s in pain.”

I raise an eyebrow, suggesting, “Just tell him that. That’s a lot simpler than being mean. Look, go talk to him. I’m gonna get some ice for his ribs—which were pretty badly broken and are still tender after being patched up—and you talk to him. I don’t have any idea where to get ice, I’ll have to ask so it’ll take a while. Just tell him that, I’m sure he’d like to hear that more than try and explain why he kept it from you.”

Sam pushes off the wall, wiping his face dry. “Okay.”

We head back inside and I make my way to the register—to ask where Mom or Dad are—as Sam slips down the hall towards Dean’s room.

“Hi, how may I help you?”

I swallow, suppressing my social anxiety. _This is for Dean, and it’s just your parents. Breathe._ “Do you know where either Naomi Novak or Doctor Eli Novak are?”

She types into her computer. “Well, Doctor Novak is just finishing up with a young patient at the end of the hall, and Naomi is responding to a call a few streets away.”

I nod gratefully, forcing a light, “Thank you.”

She smiles and nods. “Of course, sweetheart.”

I slip into the hall and lean against the wall, forcing myself to breathe. Just the small conversation was enough to set me off. _Breathe. In, out. Remember what Gabriel taught you. Breathe. It’s okay, breathe._

The shaking stills and I push off the wall, wandering slowly towards the end of the hall and pausing just outside Dean’s room. I can hear low voices, and it seems like Sam is crying again.

Dad pops out of a room and rushes down the hall towards me. “Hey, how’s Dean?”

I look up, a small smile tugging on my mouth. “Well, he’s okay, all things considered. His little brother just kinda broke down and left, which shook him up a little. Do you know where I can get ice?”

Dad ruffles my hair. “This way.”

He leads the way to an ice cooler, handing me a baggie of ice. “Here. So his brother threw a fit?”

“You could say that, yeah. He was pissed that Dean left him in the dark. I managed to talk him down, but he left in a towering temper first.”

Dad sighs. “Well, at least he’s calmer now.”

I shrug, yawning. “So how long ‘till we go home?”

He chuckles, “Just about fifteen minutes. As soon as your mother’s back, that is. I’ve finished up for the day.”

I grin, flattening my hair. “Good. It’s been a damn long day.”

“Certainly has, yes.” Dad hugs me lightly and nods towards Dean’s room. “So how are we gonna situate the boys?”

I shrug, suggesting, “Just close enough to us that they can call if they need anything. They’re not helpless, just a little overwhelmed at the moment.”

“Of course,” Dad agrees. “So is Gabriel coming home for the holidays?”

I think back to our last conversation. “Yep. I can give him a call about that, but sounds like he will be. It’s the Christmas holidays, after all. Those are for family, not school.”

“True,” Dad yawns. “Alright, I’ll come get you boys once your mother’s back.”

I nod in agreeance, too tired to negotiate.

Dad disappears and I slip in, tossing the bag towards Dean. He catches it easily, grinning and pressing it to his ribs. “Thanks, Cas.”

I nod, slipping closer. “Dad said he’ll come get us once Mom’s back, then we can go home.”

Dean nods and Sam falls into a chair, murmuring, “It’s been one hell of a long day.”

“You can say that again,” I agree quietly.

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, it certainly has.”

I settle down in one of the chairs, yawning. Everyone else joins in and we yawn collectively, chuckling after.

I shake myself, crossing my arms. “You do realize just how big the house is, right? Like, Jo’s entire house is the size of the living room. It’s huge. And there’s, like, four floors of rooms.”

Sam grins, rubbing his eyes. “Fancy.”

Dean chuckles, adjusting the ice. “ _Awesome_ , more like.”

I duck my head as heat floods my cheeks yet again. _Damn it, Dean, how do you keep doing that?_

Sam nudges me playfully. “Are you ever _not_ blushing?”

I cover my face, not sure if I’m more on the verge of laughter or groaning. “Oh my god Sam shut up.”

Dean laughs and I feel as if my face is on fire. _Oh my god oh my god ohmygod. This is so embarrassing._

Sam shoves me a little. “Make me.”

Some of the heat fades—just enough for me to look up and glare at him. “ _Shut. Up._ ”

Sam grins, wriggling his eyebrows. “Aww, Cas is so cute.”

My head falls back in my hands and Dean yawns. “Sam, seriously. He’s gonna die of Sammy syndrome. Cut it out.”

Sam doubles over in laughter, choking between fits, “What’s—a—Sammy—syndrome?”

Dean grins. “When a Sammy embarrasses someone far too much.”

Sam laughs harder and I take advantage of the loud guffawing noise to groan quietly. _Sam is going to be hell to deal with, oh my god. I hope Gabriel can tame him._

Finally a comfortable silence falls and the door opens. I look up and Mom smiles at me. “Time to go home. One of you will have to carry Dean, I don’t care which. Come on.”

She disappears and Sam scoops up Dean. “Seeing as Cas has a broken foot and a cast, I can carry Dean.”

Dean protests weakly and crosses his arms, falling into a huffy silence.

Sam slips out and I get up and follow, rubbing my eyes again.

Dean is protesting the whole way. “I can walk. Hey, I can walk. Maybe I need a supporting arm but I can walk.”

I roll my eyes, allowing myself a small grin. _Having Dean around the house’ll break the silence nicely. He never shuts up. I actually don’t mind, he reminds me of Gabriel._

We pause outside the door next to Mom and Dad. Mom looks between Sam, Dean and I with a thoughtful expression. Dean sighs. “I have a car.”

Mom nods. “Exactly. How about you boys follow us? If you lose sight of us, Castiel can show you the way.”

Sam nods and Dean huffs. “Sam, put me _down_. I can walk.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Dad counters. Dean huffs again, scowling.

Sam sticks his tongue out at Dean and yawns. “So we follow you?”

Dad nods slowly. “Yes. Try not to go faster than us, and don’t fall too far behind.”

Dean’s scowl deepens and Sam grins. “Okay.”

We split off to our cars and Dean protests as Sam settles him down in the back. “Hey, I can drive.”

Sam gets in the passenger and I pull out the keys, closing the door gently and turning the keys.

Dean falls silent for a moment before muttering, “Damn.”

I pull out and idle next to Mom and Dad’s car as they pull out, following them towards home.

It’s strange being behind them, outside the car, but it’s okay. Especially hearing Dean’s nearly-inaudible remarks on how well I’m treating his car. Sam can’t hear him, judging by his smug expression, but Dean appears impressed with how smoothly I’m driving. The car purrs the whole way and Dean finally stops protesting, eyes half-closed.

I pull into the driveway and Sam’s eyes widen. I glance back to see Dean is sitting up now, eyes the size of saucers. He whistles, impressed as I put the car in park and pull the keys out.

Sam sighs, “ _Oh._ ”

Dean is silent at last before he hisses, “Son of a bitch.”

Sam glances at him. “Big, eh?”

Dean shakes his head in awe. “Damn, Cas, how rich are your parents?”

I grin. “They’re more middle-class. It’s my grandparents and great-grandparents who pay for the house. Their funds that passed to us and the few that are still living.”

“ _Damn,_ ” Sam whispers. “It’s huge.”

“I told you,” I murmur, nudging him. He grins.

Sam gets out, in awe of the house. He wanders up the walkpath and I get out, lifting Dean to his feet.

Dean wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Thanks.”

I nod, shutting the door with my foot and making my way slowly up the path. Both of us are injured, and my foot is protesting as we make our slow way up the slightly-inclined path.

I pause in front of the steps, wincing. _That’s gonna hurt like a bitch._

Dean glances from the steps to my foot, then up towards the top of the steps. “Damn.”

I shrug. “I’m used to the steps, just...”

“Your foot, yeah,” Dean finishes.

I nod slowly, biting my lip. Dean shakes his head, pulling my arm around him. “Work together. My ribs hurt and your foot obviously hurts, we can balance each other out.”

We slowly work our way up the steps together, occasionally pausing to catch our breath. At last, we reach the top and I lift my weight off my foot as much as I can without hopping on one foot.

Dean pauses again, panting. “Damn, why do you need so many steps?”

I grin. “That’s the daily workout.”

Dean chuckles breathlessly and we continue towards the door, finally pausing at the entrance.

Dean’s mouth opens in awe. “Woah.”

It echoes a little in the high domed porch ceiling. _Woah, woah, woah._

Dean shakes his head. “I’m used to crappy motels and cheap little rentals. This is _huge_.”

I grin tiredly, pushing the door open with my free hand and limping my way inside. It takes a lot of teamwork to reach the entryway, with Dean’s hand on his ribs and my foot nearly useless.

I shut the door behind us and the light flicks on. Dean’s eyes widen further. “Wow. Okay.”

I grin helplessly, unable to resist. “Yep. This way.”

I lead the way towards the main part of the house. “Okay, there’s the dining room. That’s the kitchen. And then there’s the stairs towards the first floor of bedrooms and bathrooms. There’s a bathroom down here, but we never use it.”

Dean’s eyes widen as they fall on the intricately-carved stairs. “Damn. This is so fancy. And now we have a bunch of stairs, yippee.”

I chuckle, pausing at the bottom and lifting my weight entirely off my foot. “Yep. One hundred and fifty-three to be exact. I counted it when I was three because I was bored and there seemed to be a lot. I ended up writing it down just because. Still remember. I had to crawl up the stairs cause I was so little, it was really fun for no reason at all.”

Dean grins, free hand on the rail. “Okay, so...two to three at a time?”

I frown. “It’s easier to keep going once you’ve started. Some of it’ll be only one to two at a time and some could be up to ten at once. Depends on how much it hurts, really.”

Dean shrugs. “Okay.”

We make our way slowly up the stairs. I dodge my cat and wince as my weight lands on my foot. Finally we reach about halfway and stop yet again.

I shake my hair out of my face, calling, “Hey, John!”

Our family butler appears at the top of the stairs and makes his way down to us. “Yes, Master Novak?”

I grin, amused by Dean’s awed expression. “I told you before, just call me by name. Can you help? His ribs’re broken and my foot’s broken. Stairs hurt, a lot.”

He nods courteously, disappearing.

Sam appears at the top of the stairs with John, his wide eyes barely outdone by Dean. “Hey, you need help?”

I give him a glare. “Obviously.”

Sam rolls his eyes and comes down to meet us, lifting Dean off of me into his arms and carrying him up.

John holds him upright while Sam carries me up, setting me on my feet. I wince as my broken foot connects and John lets Dean go. He falls onto Sam, and Sam holds him upright, leading him into the part of the house we still use.

I limp after them, some of the pain numbed but not enough. It just builds right back up as I make my way to my room, dropping my backpack and making my way back out.

John inclines his head as I pass and I smile back, though it’s strained and pained.

I manage to make it to Mom and Dad’s room, falling against Dad. He catches me, lifting me off the ground onto their bed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

I try to catch my breath, still breathing hard. “Stairs.”

Dad’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

Mom peeks out of the bathroom. “Is Dean alright?”

I laugh breathlessly. “Maybe. We came up the stairs together, everyone was gone. You have any idea how hard that is? He was leaning on me cause of his ribs and I was trying to keep weight off my foot.”

Both of them frown and Dad sighs. “Whoops.”

I shrug. “Sam was in awe of the house, he didn’t even seem to realize Dean was still in the car. Dean was kinda exhausted. I think Sam got him to a room, but I’m not sure. He took him off me so I could actually get to my room. Stairs hurt when it’s difficult to walk.”

Mom tosses me a cloth wrap. “The weight of the boot isn’t helping, either. Wrap it in that.”

Dad undoes the straps, wriggling the boot off.

Fresh air floods around my ankle and foot and I close my eyes, waiting patiently while Dad peels off my sock and wraps my foot in the gauze. “Better?”

I wiggle my toes and open my eyes. “Much. I’m not overheating on top of it all.”

Dad chuckles, ruffling my hair. “If you want to show the boys around, go ahead. Before Gabriel gets here, while it’s still quiet, would probably be easier.”

I grin, sliding down to the floor. I manage to keep my foot off the floor as I hit, lowering it and barely touching the floor. “Probably, but Dean’s nearly as loud as Gabe is.”

“True,” Dad concedes. “But not when he’s tired.”

I chuckle, limping my way out and closing the door behind me.

Sam pops out of one of the many empty rooms. “Every one of these have a bathroom to itself?”

I nod, grinning at his amazed expression. “Yep.”

Dean makes his slow way out of the room next to mine—it’s a coincidence, seriously....luckily Gabe’s room is on my other side—which is next to Sam’s, using the walls to move slowly forward. “Seriously, mega luxury, man.”

Sam moves over, lifting him off the wall and supporting him over. “Yeah.”

I jerk my head towards their room. “Mom and Dad’s room.”

Dean’s eyes flick to my foot. “Hey, the boot’s gone.”

I shrug. “Mom said the weight of it could be making the foot worse. Either way, the boot traps heat really, really well. Dad wrapped it in gauze, should be fine for now.”

Sam yawns. “Anyone in those rooms?”

I shake my head. “No.”

Dean grins. “Good.”

Sam tilts his head. “You keep glancing towards Dean’s room.”

I grin shyly. “Cause it’s right next to mine.”

Dean’s eyes widen in surprise. “Seriously?”

I nod slowly. “Gabe’s on my other side. Michael’s next to him. Anna used to be after that, at the end of the hall.”

Dean grins, ruffling my hair. “Cool coincidence.”

I shrug casually, sighing. “Once Gabe’s here, it’ll be a lot louder.”

Dean’s grin widens. “Good. It’s creepy-quiet. And dude, _you have a butler_?”

I laugh tiredly. “Yup. John Konzek, best in the business. He keeps the house clean—you know how big this place is—and makes sure everyone’s doing their job. There’s servants who change the sheets and make the beds, there’s a cook, and there’s also a housekeeper who makes sure the unused rooms are ready for use—kinda like a guest room. Pretty cool, I know.”

“ _Damn_ ,” Dean whistles, shaking his head. “You’re like royalty.”

A small smile lifts the corners of my mouth. “You could say that.”

Dean chuckles, running a hand over his hair. “You know when Gabe’s getting here?”

I bite my lip, thinking. “Probably Saturday around ten a.m., as he usually does.”

Dean’s standing on his own now, and Sam disappears to his room with a yawn.

Dean grins, glancing after him. “He’s exhausted.”

“So are we,” I counter lightly.

Dean chuckles. “Yeah. I don’t want it to sound weird, but...do you mind if I hang around you at school tomorrow? So no one tries anything?”

I blink in surprise. “Um, okay. Not like I have any friends who you might clash with, just a lot of enemies who’re jealous of this.”

I gestures vaguely at the house and Dean nods. “Okay.”

I limp my way forward, shaking my head. “It’s not much to be jealous of. Yeah, it’s big...but it’s lonely, too. You don’t have it full of people—in every single room—then it’s lonely. Especially considering how lively the place used to be, before my grandparents and great-grandparents passed.”

Dean shrugs, and we slowly make our way towards the two rooms. “It doesn’t have to be lonely.”

I glance at him. “Wha’d’you mean?”

“Have friends and family over. Bring people in from far away that you haven’t seen in a while. I don’t know. Bring Anna over, bring in Gabriel and fill up the space.”

I sigh. “It’s not that easy. Anna has a full time job, and Gabe’s in college. He can’t just pick up and come over at any and all times. He comes for things like Christmas break and spring break and he’s home for summer, but he’s not really around much.”

Dean sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Tell them to make time. Tell Anna to take some time off work.”

A cold dread settles over me for a second and I stop, eyes wide. “No.”

Dean stops, turning. “Why not?”

I shake my head. “Last time I asked, she...”

I drift off. _Called me a faggot? Treated me like shit? Yelled at me? Took out all her stress on me? A combination of all those, for sure._

Dean frowns. “She what?”

I swallow the dread, forcing it down. “She yelled at me, took out all her stress on me. Treated me way worse than Sam did, almost equal to Michael. Called me a faggot and said I’m too young to understand.”

Dean’s eyes widen. “But she’s your _sister_ , she shouldn’t treat you like that.”

I shrug slowly, shivering. “She did.”

Dean moves slowly back to me, touching my shoulder. “Let me talk to her.”

I shake my head. “You can’t fix all my problems, Dean.”

Dean shrugs. “Let me try. If she doesn’t listen, then she doesn’t care and therefore doesn’t matter. If she does...well, she does, and you get to see your sister again.”

“You’re impossible,” I murmur quietly. Dean just grins, ruffling my hair.

We begin to move again, however slowly. Dean finally speaks up again. “Besides, she shouldn’t be using your own sexuality against you.”

I swallow. “Most people do. Anna and Michael, Raphael and Lucifer, Uriel and Gadreel.”

“Well that’s gonna change,” Dean insists. “Because it’s wrong.”

Contrary to the wave of nervousness, a small smile pulls at my mouth. _I know it is._

We pause at Dean’s door and he pulls me in for a gentle hug. “I’m gonna fix what I can, like it or not.”

Even though I’m shy and uneasy, the hug is calming.

Dean releases me, hands on my shoulders. “Get some sleep, and be careful.”

I offer him a tentative smile. “Okay.”

He slips inside, shutting the door.

I shake my head, turning and limping towards John’s room. I knock lightly and he opens the door. “Yes, Master Novak—Castiel?”

I smile at the correction. “The guests in the house are Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam being the taller and uninjured one. Dean does have broken ribs, so if you can arrange a bag of ice to be there in the morning, that would be helpful. And the cook will need to be notified of the two teenage boys. Sam is about twelve and Dean is fifteen.”

John nods sleepily. “Of course, Castiel.”

He slips past me and disappears down the servants’ staircase.

I slip into my room, falling asleep fully clothed the instant I land on the bed.


	11. School (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning. (It's a Friday, since I've decided the previous day was Thursday. So there's school.)
> 
> Fluff. So much fluff. Cas is on crutches and Dean's escorting him around school. XD
> 
> Dean skives off PE (I would if I could). Typical Dean thing to do. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV. At school with Cas. :)
> 
> SO MUCH FLUFF, ALL THE FLUFF. :D "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!" (Agnes, Despicable Me)
> 
> I was listening to "100 Years" by Five for Fighting. I suggest listening while reading. :)
> 
> The teacher's name (Mr. Conner) is a nod to my Algebra teacher from last year. He disappeared and I can't find him this year *sad face* so I'm honoring him here. XD

I wake up with Cas’ hand on my shoulder and a bag of ice next to me—it’s fresh enough it’s not even melted. “Hey. Time for school. Dad’s driving us.”

I roll out of bed, reaching for the ice and pressing it to my ribs. They loudly protest and the pain eases as the ice numbs it. “Okay.”

Cas pauses, eyes twinkling. “And check the closet. Sam may have given an address to find your clothes at.”

I glance towards the closet. “Thanks, Cas.”

Cas slips out and I get dressed, slowly waking up as I move around. I set the ice down and slip my shirt on, pulling on my leather jacket. _It was Dad’s, but it’s mine now. He’s not getting it back._

I wet my hair down so I can flatten it and make my way out of the room.

Sam grins at me. “Hey.”                          

I shake my head, spraying him expertly with water. Not one drop gets on the floor or walls. “Hey.”

Sam chuckles, wiping his face dry. “Nice to see you, too.”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “Yep.”

We make our way down the stairs and Cas pops out of the dining room. “Hey. Breakfast is ready.”

I feel my grin widen. “I’m used to having to _make_ breakfast. Pretty nice, eh, Sammy?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up. You know you’re just not used to it yet.”

I nudge past him playfully, chuckling. He follows, yawning. “It’s later than we usually get up.”

“Yeah, cause you insist on riding the bus and not driving.”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up. You know you prefer to jam to your music alone.”

I chuckle. “There’s room for my baby brother, too.”

I slip into the dining room and fall silent, startled. The room is _huge_ , no way around it, and the table’s loaded with food. “Wow.”

Sam follows and his eyes widen. “Woah.”

Cas grins, settling down at the table. “You never cease to be amazed.”

I grin, settling down next to him. “Of course not.”

Cas’ parents settle down, Eli at the head of the table and Naomi right next to him. There’s a muffled round of hellos before we’re allowed to dig into the food.

The food tastes _amazing_. This is professional work, damn. I eat three helpings and would’ve eaten a fourth if I could fit it in my stomach.

I settle down at last, glancing around as a young woman slips in and Cas looks up, inclining his head. “Dean, Sam, this is the cook.”

Sam looks up, eyes glowing. “You’re _amazing_. Thank you.”

She blushes scarlet, balancing several empty plates on her arms somehow.

I grin, inclining my head. “Seriously, why can’t everyone cook as good as you? _Thank you_.”

“He never says thank you,” Sam informs her lightly.

I roll my eyes. “Oh, shut up. Some people _deserve_ a thank you. Or three. Or fifty. Still.”

Sam chuckles. The cook’s blush deepens as she slips out, returning to gather more plates until the table’s clear.

Eli yawns. “So, you boys ready for school?”

I glance at Sam and we grin. Sam clears his throat. “Not really, but if we have to.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “You mean you’d rather explore the house.”

Sam bursts out laughing. “Nothing gets past you.”

I shrug. “Hey, _I can drive now_. I don’t really like school all that much, but...there’s a couple subjects I like to be there for.”

Cas tilts his head. “Only two?”

I grin. “Chemistry and Math. Math just so I can piss the teacher off, really, but I like Chemistry. We get to blow stuff up and learn _why_ it explodes. So fun.”

Sam yawns. “He likes Chemistry, but the other classes either bore him or annoy him. He’s not a school kinda guy. More of a let’s-blow-stuff-up and let’s-explore-and-look-for-dangerous-stuff kinda guy.”

I laugh. “Oh, shut up. You know you like Chemistry, too.”

“You’re not skipping school,” Naomi interrupts. “But you can explore the house once you’re home, we’ll both be at work. Call Gabriel, maybe. Either way, school is important.”

Sam laughs and I sigh. Eli nods. “I agree. Drive yourself if you like, but you’re not skipping.”

“It’s not skipping if I’m injured,” I counter lightly. “Maybe Sam’s not, but my ribs hurt and that makes it hard to breathe and walk, and Cas’ foot is broken. Call in sick, sort of. Like ‘hey, they’re at the hospital’ or something ‘due to various injuries’. Won’t work for Sammy cause he’s fine, but...”

Eli rolls his eyes, his smile belying his irritation. “I’m a doctor, I won’t do that.”

Naomi sighs. “How badly does it hurt? We might be able to numb it.”

I consider it. “It hurts when I move. So long as I’m still, it’s fine.”

Naomi rises to her feet. “Stay here.”

She disappears and Eli grins. “She’s got a stock of painkillers and numbing agents.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Seriously? Is that...legal?”

He chuckles. “Of course it’s legal, but it’s still quite a lot.”

Naomi reappears, handing me a bottle and a handful of needles. “Here. It’s got a prescription label on it, so they can’t get mad about it. Whenever it starts to hurt, fill the syringe to there—” Here she points to a spot on one of the needles. “—and inject it in your arm. Never put more, because you could numb anywhere from your entire arm  to your entire body, which would be bad.”

I pocket it with a nod. “Okay.”

Cas rises to his feet in time with Eli, leaning on crutches with an actual cast on his foot. _How did I not notice that before? Damn._

Sam rises to his feet and I slowly stand, wincing as my ribs twinge.

Cas swings out carefully on the crutches and I make my way after him, with Sam in tow.

We pause outside the car and Cas hands me the keys. “Here.”

Sam pauses. “I’ll get in the back.”

Cas looks up, a faint blush touching his cheeks. I nod slowly. “’Kay.”

Sam climbs into the back and pulls the seat back into place. Cas settles down in the passenger seat, setting the crutches down next to him. I settle down in the drivers’ seat at last, turning the keys and grinning as my baby purrs to life. I close the door gently and Cas shuts his door gently enough to rival me. _He respects the car. Good._

I pull out, letting Cas direct me on the way to the school. I pull in, parking neatly in my spot and getting out, going around and opening the door for Cas.

Cas blushes scarlet, ducking his head adorably before managing to get the crutches onto the pavement and lifting himself to his feet. Sam gets out and I shut the door, keeping pace with Cas.

Sam spots Jess and takes off running, weaving through the crowd to her side.

I roll my eyes, wandering with Cas. Cas pauses to catch his breath, sighing. “This is annoying. And embarrassing, since everyone’s staring.”

I chuckle. “They’re staring because I’m with you, not because of you’re crutches. Knowing them, they’d be tripping you if I wasn’t here. Annoying, I’ll agree. It takes more effort. What’s your first class?”

Cas bites his lip. “Calculus.”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “Mr. Conner?”

Cas nods. “Yeah, how’d you...?”

It’s my turn to bite my lip nervously. “’Cause that’s my math class. I like annoying him, but I can refrain from doing that. He doesn’t get annoyed easily, and when he does it’s always hilarious. He comes huffing over and just stares at me a lot of the time before I look up. It’s both creepy and hilarious.”

Cas chuckles. “Okay.”

I dart across the road and Cas catches up, swinging up onto the sidewalk.

We make our way through the school. I do end up using one of the needles to numb my ribs but make sure no one sees it, pocketing it once I’m done.

I pause with Cas outside the class and he catches his breath. There’s a pause and he steels himself, making his way in. I follow, grinning at the teacher and helping Cas’ backpack off, setting it down at his desk. He murmurs a thanks, sinking down into his chair.

I slip up to Mr. Conner. “Morning, sir.”

He looks up. “What do you want, Winchester?”

I grin. “Just passing by. Helping Cas out. I’ll pop back in once class is over. He made me promise to be nice to you, you’re lucky. I have to be nice to you. See you in second.”

I slip out, heading to class—PE, which I never show up to. I wait impatiently while the teacher takes attendance and slip out once she’s done, just sitting down in a stall in the bathroom to wait out the class.


	12. Cas' Video (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that warranted the "graphic depictions of violence" warning. John yelling at/hitting Dean for the absences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV. This comes before Cas meets Sam & Jo, shows what happened to Dean.
> 
> Sorry it took so long to update! I hit a writer's block and just now got back to it. :D
> 
> John's an a$$, by the way!

“I told you, if you miss one more damn class...they’ll come ‘round the house next, you little brat!”

I shake my head, suppressing a shiver. _Sam, this is for Sam._ “No they won’t, we went from school to the hospital so they’re excused. They only care about unexcused absences.”

“Oh, you’re gonna play smart with me now, boy?” He shakes his fist, moving forward. “One more damn class, you go and miss three!”

I close my eyes, letting a small tremor slip through me. _I hope Cas is catching this, damn it. Sam, remember Sam._

I open my eyes, steeling myself and repeating defiantly, “It doesn’t matter. They’re excused and the principal was right there so he can confirm it.”

He stalks closer and I slip back, towards where Cas said he’d be. “Oh, so you have _proof_? How...poetic. I’m not gonna have the police coming ‘round my place for you! Coming ‘round for a disgrace to the family name. I wish the fire took you and not Mary! Then at least I’d have my wife. I’d still have Mary.”

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady and stating things he should already know not only for the camera but to remind him of the facts. “She’s my _mother_! Don’t you think I’d rather it never happened? I was frickin’ four, Dad! I was _four years old!_ And of course you were selfish and just kept drinking, and _I_ had to take care of Sammy. Not like you were gonna, even though you should’ve. I raised Sam, and he turned out with a strong sense of direction and a _damn_ good childhood, no thanks to you.”

Dad riles himself up, pouncing forward. “How dare you!”

I duck, stumbling backwards—purposefully even closer to Cas. “I’m just stating the facts. You don’t like them, why won’t you _change_? Why won’t you stop buying bourbon and whiskey and beer and just spend that money on _food_ for your sons? Have you forgotten everything Mom stood for, Dad? She wanted us to have a _normal_ life, not this mess! You haven’t even _tried_ to honor that.”

I know I’m just making it worse, but I can’t help it. I know I’m _right_ —and that’s why it’s striking a nerve.

Dad rises to his full height, towering over me. “How _dare_ you drag Mary into this, Dean Samuel Winchester!”

Even though I normally would’ve risen to the challenge, I shrink back. “She’s a part of this just as much as we are!”

He takes this badly, a feral grin flickering across his face. “ _Right_ , just like Sam’s childhood is.”

“Of course that has everything to do with this! You had a _huge_ say in that! Attitude, Dad, it affects others as well!”

“Don’t you get all sappy on me, boy,” Dad hisses.

A small tremor of fear runs through me.

I unclench my muscles, letting my hands shake while small shivers run over my body, my eyes narrowing as I spit, “That’s _your_ crap you forced on me, I’m _not_ that boy. I’m not the guy who lost his wife and just never got over it. I lost my mother! I doubt I’ll ever really _get over it_ , but I sure as hell am not gonna make others suffer for it. I’m trying, I have friends and I take care of my brother. You’re acting like I’m just throwing accusations, but you _know_ it’s true. That’s why you’re getting all defensive, because you can’t just deny it.”

An angry growl escapes him and he swings. I let it connect, stumbling back and spitting the blood out. _My stomach’s already bruised enough, damn it._

I glance towards the forest that hides Cas as if I want to run that direction, the blood dripping off my lips visible in the early evening light.

Dad moves forward again, snarling, “Don’t you dare try and tattle. You already know I’ll find Sam.”

I wince, turning my head back towards him. “Don’t you _dare_ touch my brother.”

He hisses and pounces. Caught off guard—again—I tumble to the ground under his weight, too weak from last time to try and fight back.

I let a small groan pass my lips as my back slams into the rough ground, though I normally would’ve bitten it back. _Sam might see this, and of course Cas is watching. Just...let yourself be weak._

I shove at him, trying my hardest to shove him off my ribs, which are caving in under his weight. “Dad, I can’t breathe. Get off.”

“Make me,” he counters drunkenly.

I drag a ragged breath in, shoving again. “I can’t because of last time. I’m already bleeding, both internally and externally. _Get off._ ”

“No. Serves you right.”

I fall limp, knowing from experience struggling will only make it worse. My ribs are screaming at me, slowly digging into my lungs under the weight of the three-hundred-fifty pound man on top of them. I cough, gasping for air. _Breathe. Breathe. Just a little longer._

Kevin comes toppling in and I know that’s the cue—Cas’ video is over. Kevin tugs Dad off, shoving him back. “Stay away from Dean, you crazy drunk!”

I suck in a refreshing breath, my lungs screaming right with my ribs as they realize they’re injured—the shock has worn off. _Shit. Oh no. Ow. Ow. I promised Sam, damn it, ow._

Dad goes stumbling off and Kevin helps me to my feet. “Dean, man, Sam said you might need some help.”

I groan weakly, shoving off of him and letting my hand wrap around my ribs. “Damn it, Sammy. I told him to stay outta this. Please, Kevin, go and don’t tell him what you just saw. I’ll tell him myself once this is over, I swear.”

Kevin nods. “You sure you can walk on your own?”

“I’m fine,” I snap, wincing at it pulls on my lungs. I feel kinda bad for pushing Kevin away, but Cas can carry me if it gets too bad.

“Please,” I insist in a softer voice. “Just go. I don’t care what you tell Sam, say you couldn’t find me for all I care. Just don’t tell him. I already swore I’d tell him.”

Kevin disappears and Cas materializes, catching me as I sag. “Dean, you’re not _fine._ He sat on your lungs, that had to at least bruise.”

I shake my head, falling against him. “I just wanted him to leave, you’re right. My lungs are fucking burning, I can’t b-breathe. I think they went in, at least one of them if not three or four.”

Cas frowns, helping me back to the road and lowering me into my car. “Keys? I can drive.”

I vaguely register the Impala under me before I hold out the keys. “You better be careful with my baby.”

Cas smiles faintly and gets in. We disappear towards the hospital just as I begin to fade to unconsciousness.


	13. Art...and Kingston (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes to art. He's sketching idly. The teacher's a big fan of his art. :)
> 
> Kingston is also an ass. (Thinks he's Dean's friend, but is just a bully.) Cas ends up having to fight him. Dean pulls Kingston off Cas. (Minor fluff there.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV.

Dean appears outside the classroom the moment I manage to get out of Calculus, walking with me to Art and kissing up to the teacher for a minute before disappearing again.

I sigh, ducking my head so I don’t meet the eyes of all my classmates who are staring at me. _Maybe part of it is walking with Dean, who everyone knows, but...part of it is having to swing to my seat and lower myself down._

I get my stuff out and begin sketching idly, mind drifting.

The teacher comes over and her eyes widen. I shake myself back to class to find the kind and smiling face of Sam, next to a clearly forced smile on Jo’s face.

She _ooh_ s and _ahh_ s for a moment, ruffling my hair. “You’ll be a great artist some day, Castiel.”

I give her a strained smile. I didn’t sleep well last night, and it’s very obvious from my strange lack of focus today. My teachers are passing it off as pain from my foot, but it’s more exhaustion than pain. There _is_ pain, but it’s not really distracting.

I turn the page, continuing to sketch without seeing. This time it’s an image of Michael, Raphael, Lucifer, Uriel, and Gadreel. They’re standing over the viewer, and it’s exactly how it looked before Dean entered the room. I shade it so it shows Raphael’s laughing smile and Michael’s feral grin.

The teacher sucks in a breath, eyes wide. “Where did that come from? Your images are usually _inspiring_ , Castiel.”

I sigh, explaining quietly, “That’s Michael. Raphael, Lucifer, Uriel, Gadreel. That’s what it looked like before Dean came in. He saved my life, but I’m still not sure why. That’s where the broken foot came from.”

“Michael? Your big brother, angel of the school Michael Novak?”

I wince. “Yes. Doesn’t help that I didn’t sleep well last night.”

She frowns. “Why did he come after you?”

I sigh. “Because I looked at his girlfriend once. And he flipped out.”

She makes her way back to her desk, glancing at me.

I sigh, turning the page. This one comes out as Dean, when he was pulling Raphael off of me. He looks angry and there’s little wrinkles by his eyes that betray concern.

I close my sketchbook, slipping it in my backpack. I can’t focus.

A fist connects with my arm and I turn to see Kingston. Dean’s been holding him off by walking me around school, but he’s not here now.

I raise an eyebrow. Kingston laughs, throwing me to the ground.

I wince, pulling him down by the leg. He crashes down and we tumble around fighting. Normally I wouldn’t fight back, but I’m trying to keep him from hitting my foot.

Somehow, he realizes that and kicks out, slamming my foot into the wall. Even though I try not to, a scream still escapes my mouth as pain flares through me.

Several people are staring, but no one’s trying to get him off of me.

Suddenly, his weight disappears and Dean pulls me to my feet, picking up my crutches to hand them to me. I balance on them, trying to catch my breath and closing my watering eyes. _Ow. Ow. Damn it._

Dean slips my backpack onto his shoulder, nodding towards the door. “Come on, Cas.”

I let him lead the way, still shaking.

Dean pops into Calculus, grabbing his backpack and leading me towards his car. “Come on, you need to get to the hospital again. Kingston’s prob’ly getting chewed out in the principal’s office.”

I sink into the passenger seat, leaning against the back and closing my eyes. “I don’t care. He slammed my foot into the wall, it hurts. A lot.”

Dean drops next to me, handing over a syringe full of the same numbing agent Mom gave him for his ribs. “Here, it should help temporarily.”

I inject the stuff just above the cast and some of the pain eases away.

Dean turns the key and the Impala purrs to life. He shuts the door behind him, pulling out and following the route Mom took to the hospital.

Somewhere along the way, I pass out. The pain returns tenfold, killing me slowly.


	14. Conscious At Last (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas wakes up. Dean fusses a teeny bit over him and Gabriel meets Sam (mentioned) and Dean. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV.
> 
> Listening to "Brave" by Sara Bareilles. Planning on listening to "I Choose You" later on, also by her. Same album, too (The Blessed Unrest). :D

Cas finally stirs, groaning a little. I turn from my pacing to zip over to his side.

No one else is in the room—it’s the middle of the night—but I insisted on staying. I’ve been up all night worrying over Sam, not like I’d be able to sleep with Cas like this anyway. I’m worried as hell, more than I’d like to admit.

Cas coughs, shifting slightly to reach his foot. He lets out a low groan, falling limp again.

I take a deep, silent breath. _Thank god he’s awake._ “Cas?”

Cas’ eyes turn and slowly adjust to the dark, his eyes focusing on me. “Hey.”

I smile shyly. “Hey. You have any idea how worried everyone is?”

Cas shakes his head. I roll my eyes. “Put it this way. You got here, unconscious, at about nine in the morning. Guess what time it is?”

Cas frowns. “Late at night?”

I scoff, glancing at my watch. “One in the morning. The _next_ morning, obviously. You’ve been out almost twelve hours. You have any idea how vicious everyone is? Sam’s furious. Your parents are frankly terrifying when they’re angry like this. Sam texted Jo and Ellen, they’re at your place talking to your parents now. Or asleep, at your place either way. Jo was on the verge of tears and Ellen was almost snarling. Seriously, Cas, you have a huge impact. Like, even _Ellen_ , who doesn’t know you all that well, is overprotective.”

Cas blushes scarlet. “Oh.”

I drop in the chair next to him, exhausted. “It’s been one hell of a damn day. Hell, I should be resting. Technically. My ribs are screaming at me. But I can’t sleep. Just like if Sammy got hurt.”

Cas struggles up, not even trying to move his foot. “Aren’t you tired?”

I shrug. “Eh, I’ve been worse off. You saved my life, I can go without a little sleep.”

Cas shakes his head. “Answer the question.”

 _Shit, I can’t dodge. Sam lets me._ I sigh. “Fine. Yeah, I’m fuckin’ exhausted. I feel like I’ve been awake for months, Cas, but I can’t sleep. Not now. Not with you...like this.”

I gesture vaguely to his foot. His blush deepens. “Dean...”

I shake my head, cutting him off. “Don’t even try. I’m just relieved you’re finally awake.”

I pull out my phone, firing off a group text—Jo, Ellen, his parents, and Sam.

**_(1:14AM)_ **

**_He’s awake, thank God. Don’t come down here, please, just get some rest and swing by in the morning._ **

I instantly get a string of responses.

**_(Sammy Winchester, 1:14AM)_ **

**_Oh thank God. We haven’t been able to sleep._ **

**_(Jo, 1:15AM)_ **

**_Oh my god! Tell him we’re worried._ **

**_(Ellen, 1:15AM)_ **

**_More than worried. Jeez, that is one damn tough kid. I’m proud of him._ **

**_(Naomi, 1:15AM)_ **

**_Thank the gods. We’re okay, just...well, stressed._ **

**_(Eli, 1:16AM)_ **

**_I’m the fucking doctor here, don’t tell me what to do. I at least need to drop in to check his vitals. Then I might sleep. But not before. This is my son you’re talking about._ **

I roll my eyes. _Oh my god, Eli._

**_(1:16AM)_ **

**_I can’t control you, but seriously. Get some sleep. And I already said you’re worried. He’s blushing._ **

Cas frowns. “What?”

I grin. “Your dad. Okay, I’m quoting him here. ‘I’m the fucking doctor here, don’t tell me what to do.’ Like, seriously Cas. Your dad is hardcore.”

Cas’ blush deepens. “They’re never gonna let me rest, are they?”

I shake my head. “Uh-uh, not on my watch. I told them to get some sleep and drop in later in the morning. Notice your dad’s answer to that.”

Eli comes sliding down the hall and walks in supposedly calmly. “Hey, kiddo!”

Cas smiles uneasily. “Hey, Dad.”

He bounces on his toes before pulling Cas in for a hug. “You scared the hell out of all of us, you little shit.”

Cas laughs weakly. “Hey, I didn’t ask Kingston to fight me.”

Eli rolls his eyes, glancing over the vitals. “Well that kid’s in jail for that, so he’s not a problem anymore. The teacher turned him in, said she never wanted to hear another kid scream like you did in her lifetime.”

Cas blushes again. “Did you tell Gabe and Anna?”

Eli shakes his head. “It’s too early. We’ll call Anna as soon as it hits six, she’ll be up. I’ll leave Gabe up to you, he’s still coming later today either way.”

Cas winces. “Okay.”

Eli smiles warmly at me. “Thanks for the update, Dean.”

I nod tiredly. “Yup. Now go get some sleep, doc.”

Cas looks up. “Wait. Dean said you cussed?”

Eli grins. “Hey, he can’t tell me what to do. Just the f-bomb. Sleep tight, honey.”

He slips out, yawning on the way.

I sigh, shaking my head. “Won’t be reasoned with. Whatever.”

Cas sighs. “Can you turn the lights up? Just enough to see?”

I nod, rising slowly and turning the dial. I wait until he raises a hand and flop back down.

He pulls his phone off the table next to him, hitting the power button. It comes up, the contacts already open.

I smile faintly. “Anna first, just to piss her off.”

Cas chuckles and hits dial, putting her on speaker.

She picks up, groaning, “It’s one in the fucking morning, what do you _want_?”

I roll my eyes. “Hey, don’t talk to Cas like that.”

Cas blushes scarlet. “Anna, I’m in the damn hospital. I’m not in the mood for your shit.”

There’s a silence. Anna finally speaks again. “Who?”

I lift the phone off him. “Raphael, Gadreel, Uriel, Raphael, and Michael. Yes, Michael _Novak_. His own brother. For looking at his girlfriend. And then again, just hours later, Kingston. Still don’t know why.”

There’s another silence. Anna spits, “Who the hell are you?”

Cas protests weakly, “Hey!”

I roll my eyes. “Listen, bitch. I saved your brother’s life and you better show me some damn respect. My name is Dean Winchester.  He also happened to save my life, but yeah. I saved his life.”

She’s quiet again. “I’m fucking tired. Call me later.”

“Mom and Dad are planning on calling around six,” Cas pipes up. “But I wanted to talk to you. Cause you’re still my sister, even if you’re always too busy for me.”

She sighs. “Whatever. I’ll be over tomorrow, and those kids better be in jail or I’m gonna kick their asses.”

Cas smiles faintly. “Thanks to Dean, they are.”

She sighs deeply. “Whatever. I’ll drop in for a few days, but I can’t be away for long.”

She hangs up, leaving a ringing silence. Cas looks surprised. “Well then.”

I grin. “Hey, just goes to show she still cares.”

Cas shrugs. “Not the circumstances I’d like, but she’ll be here. Which...is nice.”

He shakes his head slowly, dialing Gabriel and leaving it on speaker.

Gabriel picks up on the second ring, asking urgently, “What’s wrong? You never call me this early. Or late. Or whatever. You know what I mean. _What’s wrong?_ ”

Cas laughs weakly, releasing a slow breath and dragging his fingers through his hair. “Well, you’d never believe what shit Michael just pulled.”

Gabriel pauses. “What did he do?”

Cas sighs. “Well, put it this way: I’m in the hospital. For the second time. In two days.”

I roll my eyes, adding, “And he just woke up from being unconscious for almost twelve hours.”

Gabriel releases a slow breath. “Cas, who...?”

“Oh,” Cas says as if he just realized. “Gabe, this is Dean. He saved my life, quite literally.”

Cas hands over the phone. There’s a profound silence before Gabriel speaks again. “Holy shit. Okay, what happened? Either of you?”

I smile faintly. “I heard him scream? His foot’s broken, Raphael and Michael. Michael Novak, yeah. Terrible older brother he is, right? So, from what I gather. Michael confronted Cas for looking at his girlfriend.”

“But he’s homo,” Gabriel protests.

“I know,” I agree. “But Michael didn’t. Past tense. Cas said he wasn’t interested _because_ he’s homo, and Michael leapt on him. Beat the shit outta him, too. Lucifer, Michael, Gadreel, Uriel, Raphael. And then just earlier, Kingston slammed his foot into a fucking wall. So we’re back in the hospital. I asked Michael what the hell he was doing and he said ‘I can do whatever I want, he’s a faggot and I live with him’. Which, knowing that’s his older brother, is even worse than I first thought. And I told him he can’t hit him. What he means about me saving his life is I scattered them—I did get them all in jail—and pulled Raphael off of him. Like, seriously, you shoulda heard his scream. I’m surprised no one else went looking. And just yesterday, he saved _my_ life from my abusive alcoholic father—my little brother Sammy, too. We’re even, but seriously. His own _brother_ broke his fucking foot. And I think at least one of his ribs might be broken. And Raphael was choking him when I pulled him off.”

There’s a silence and Cas flushes scarlet, dropping his gaze.

Gabriel clears his throat and repeats slowly, “So...broken foot, possible broken ribs, and a raw throat?”

I shrug. “That’s just what I saw on the surface, but yeah. I’d kill the asshole if I were you. What kind of brother would do that? Seriously! Like, I know what it’s like—I’m bi, and my dad beat the shit out of me when I told him—but doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong.”

Gabriel takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I know what you mean. About killing him. I’ll at least have a not-so-pleasant chat with the ass. He promised he’s watch over them, not hurt them. Is Anna okay?”

Cas frowns. “Anna’s gone. No, not dead. But she’s busy at work all the time.”

Gabriel releases his breath in a gasp. “She’s _gone_ ? But..not _my_ Anna?”

I roll my eyes. “We just called her. She said she’d come up for a few days. But she was a total bitch, man, she pretty much cussed us out. She was cussing a lot, and I cuss so that’s saying something.”

Cas swallows. “I wouldn’t say she cussed us out. More like she was cranky as ever. And she was rude to Dean, too.”

Gabriel almost growls. “I’ll set all this shit straight. I’ll get on the first fucking flight out there.”

Cas shivers. “Anna already said she’d be back home tomorrow.”

Gabriel sighs. “Whatever. I knew something was wrong, but this...Jesus, Cas. I’m on my way.”

He hangs up, leaving a more positive silence.

Cas finally sighs, setting his phone down. “I’ve never...he’s never been like that. Cussing, growling. He’s furious.”

“And rightly so,” I add. “Seriously, I’d be furious if it were me. I’d wring that asshole’s neck.”

Cas blushes scarlet. “You really are like Gabriel.”

I grin. “That a bad thing?”

Cas shakes his head. “No. It’s calming, actually. Normally, when someone I don’t know asks for details of my life...I usually have a panic attack. Like, ask Sam and Jo. But I just can’t around you, just like ‘round Gabe. It just doesn’t work. I can’t get worked up about it. Oh, while I’m thinking about it. Something Sam said was wrong and totally messed up about my life.”

I perk up. _Seriously? It takes a lot to rile Sammy up._

Cas shrugs. “I haven’t...celebrated my birthday since I was nine. The year I came out to my family, which is a hell of a fucking coincidence. Everyone else did, but I fell off the calendars. I’m not even sure how old I am. I count by the current year and school year. Fifteen, sixteenish. I don’t even know.”

I feel my eyes widen. “Jeez. That’s stupid. I made a huge thing outta Sammy’s birthdays, it was a huge thing when he was younger. That’s...no wonder he thought it was wrong, Jesus.”

Cas blushes light pink. “That’s just...my life.”

I shake my head. “Well, that’s changing.”

“Sam said the same,” Cas agrees.

I grin. “Sammy _has_ learned from me. Nice to know.”

Cas sighs. “I don’t know. Anna was...well, hurried. Gabe was concerned. I’m not sure if Anna’s supposed to be like Gabe was or not. Maybe she just can’t be.”

I shrug. “Who knows. But I have a feeling Gabriel isn’t gonna wait.”

Cas frowns. “What do you mean?”

I grin. “Check your phone.”

He glances at it. He’s already got a text from Gabriel.

**_1:26AM –_ **

**_On my way. :) There’s only one flight so early, but I booked the last seat. Love you. ~Gabe_ **

I chuckle lightly. “Told you.”

Cas blushes furiously. “He’s worse than Mom.”

I grin. “He’s _me_. That’s what I’d do. That’s how I knew he wouldn’t wait—he’s like an older version of me.”

Cas shakes his head. “Whatever. You need to sleep, you know.”

I shrug. “Might catch a wink of sleep now that you’re okay.”

Cas’ blush deepens. “Why do you care so much?”

I turn the lights back down. “Because you remind me of Sam. And because I never wanna hear you scream like that again. And I honestly don’t know why on that one.”


	15. Brother In All But Blood (Dean's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas wake up. Gabriel enters (in person). Small thing with John, but it's smoothed over by Dean, Cas, Gabe, Sam, and everyone. (Everyone being Jo, Ellen, Cas' parents, Cas, Gabriel, and Sam.) Ends with some true Destiel fluff. (calls him his brother in all but blood, and this moment: "I scoop Cas up, moving over to set him down on the hospital bed. My arm and ribs both protest loudly, but I manage it. Cas bursts into a giggle fit, burying his flaming red face in the pillow. Gabriel grins, delighted. “Dean, did you seriously just carry Cassie?” I grin, chuckling, “So?” Gabriel shakes his head. “So isn’t that weird?” I roll my eyes. “He’s my brother and his foot’s broken. Deal with it.” Gabriel grins. “He’s my brother.” I swat at him. “You know what I mean.” ")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long to update, but this chapter is much longer!
> 
> Dean's POV, listening to "Brave" by Sara Bareilles.

I shake myself awake, running a hand over my face. I must’ve fallen asleep some time earlier.

I check my watch; it’s six now. Almost five hours of sleep. More than I usually get, but it’s been one hell of a week.

Cas stirs and sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Hey.”

I incline my head in his direction. “Hey. It’s six, must’ve crashed.”

“You did,” Cas agrees. “Then I crashed a couple minutes later. You looked pretty wiped out.”

I rub my eyes. “Yeah, it's been one hell of a week. How’re ya feeling?”

“Better,” Cas murmurs. “Still sore but it’s almost numb.”

“That’s good.”

Cas nods quietly. “Wonder if Gabe’s awake. He prob’ly is.”

I yawn. “Yeah, and probably already on his way. It’s what I’d do.”

Cas blushes faint pink. “You’re probably right. Sounds like something he’d do.”

I hear the hospital door creak open and shut, my queue. “And there he is.”

Cas’ eyes light up as he perks up instantly, on alert.

The door pops open and Gabriel slips in the room, his eyes vaguely scanning the room before falling on his brother.

His eyes instantly widen and he darts over to Cas’ side. “Cassie!”

Cas pulls him into a hug with barely a wince. “Hey, Gabe.”

Cas’ eyes close and Gabriel wraps his arms around Cas, lifting his brother off the bed a little to hold him closer.

They stay like that for several minutes before Gabriel lowers Cas back to the bed. “Are you okay?”

Cas shrugs. “It’s almost numb so better. Still hurts, though.”

He flips the blanket off his feet, revealing the cast on his broken foot. Gabriel runs a very light hand over it. “ _Michael?_ ”

Cas shrugs casually. “Yeah. And of course Kingston made it worse.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “Bullshit.”

A smile lights up Cas’ face. “I missed you.”

A smile cracks through the worry on Gabriel’s face. “I missed my little nerd.”

A faint blush touches his cheeks but his smile widens. “I’m sure there’s plenty of nerds in school.”

“Yeah, but they’re not _my_ nerd. Not my little bro.”

Cas blushes scarlet and swats playfully at his brother. _I kinda wish Sammy was this delighted to see me sometimes. It’d make a nice change._ “Shut up.”

“Or what?”

Cas chuckles. “ _Or_ tickle fight. You know I always win.”

Gabriel grins. “I’m _so_ terrified.”

They both laugh and grin at each other.

I shift uneasily in my seat, both uncomfortable with the situation and with being a third wheel to the brothers.

Cas’ eyes flick towards me and he directs Gabriel the same way. “Gabe, this is Dean.”

Gabriel turns, his eyes alight with interest. “Hi.”

A smile tugs on the corner of my mouth. “Hey.”

I rise to my feet slowly. “Heard a lot about you. ACDC?”

Gabriel grins. “Back in Black.”

I chuckle. “Same.”

Gabriel’s grin widens. “Good taste in music.”

Cas shakes his head. “You’re impossible.”

Gabriel laughs. “I do try.”

I roll my eyes. “Sammy says that about me all the time.”

Gabriel chuckles. “Yeah, I met him. I like him. He actually spoke quite highly of you. Said you’re the best big brother ever.”

I grin, chuckling. “Speaks shit to my face but loves me behind my back. What an angel.”

Gabriel chuckles lightly. “I’m sure Cassie’s the same, my lovable little nerd.”

Cas blushes light pink. “Oh, shut up.”

Gabriel tousles his brother’s hair. “Even when you’re hurt you’re a fiery spirited little nerd. Look at that.”

Cas rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out at Gabriel. “You’re annoying.”

“Come on, you know you love me.” Gabriel chuckles. “Besides, you like having me around to lighten the mood.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Doesn’t mean you’re not annoying.”

Gabriel grins. “Love you, too, lil bro.”

_You have no idea how much he lit up when you came in,_ I muse. _Maybe I’ll mention it later._

Gabriel offers his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

I accept the hand warily, trying to suppress memories of a drunken Dad. “Yeah, right back at you.”

Gabriel smirks. “You really are like a younger version of me. More tired, certainly, but still.”

“Cas said as much,” I agree easily.

A slight twitch upward of his brow tells me he noticed the nickname. “Did he now?”

He shoots his brother a look so full of love even I can’t help but melt a little. “How sweet.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Don’t even start.”

A mischievous smile pulls on his lips but he doesn’t respond. Cas gestures vaguely behind his back, the crazy sign accompanied with a grin.

I can’t keep the smile off my face at that. ‘ _He’s crazy but I love him.’_

Gabriel glances towards Cas. “He making fun of me?”

I grin. “Nah, he likes ya. You shoulda seen him when he heard you coming, lit up like a Christmas tree. Adorable.”

Cas flushes scarlet, a wide grin on playing on his lips. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” I fire back.

Gabriel claps me on the shoulder. “I like you already.”

Heat floods my cheeks but I refuse to drop my gaze, keeping it up defiantly. “Anyone who likes Back in Black is fine by me.”

Gabriel tilts his head like his father did—like a puppy who heard a whistle. He studies me more closely, which makes it hard not to flinch. The tension is making my ribs scream at me but I don’t want to move.

His smile returns, softer and kinder. “Hey, anyone who takes care of my brother when I’m not around earns a degree of respect just like that. And you saved his _life_ , so...”

I smile shyly. _Suppose I really have, now._ “Metallica?”

Gabriel’s eyes light up. “Oh, hell yeah.”

I can’t help but grin at that. “Sporty cars?”

Gabriel chuckles. “Mustangs.”

I raise an eyebrow, grinning. “Chevy Impala.”

Gabriel shrugs. “Never seen one.”

I feel my eyes widen in spite of myself. “ _What?_ ”

Both Gabriel and Cas chuckle. Cas grins. “It’s a cool car. Totally your style. Similar to your car, but lower seated and black. Purrs if you drive her right.”

We both look at him in surprise, Gabriel more in a ‘ _you’re admiring a sports car_ ’ way and me as more of a ‘ _he just complimented my car, oh my god_ ’ way. He blushes again, his grin widening. “What?”

I shake my head. “You’re admiring my car. Damn, Cas.”

Cas flushes crimson and shrugs. “So?”

“You’re admiring a sports car, Cassie,” Gabriel finally says, slowly. “A _sports car_.”

Cas shakes his head. “I love your car. Just cause I don’t say it doesn’t mean I can’t admire it.”

Gabriel lights up, pride pouring off him in waves. “My little brother loves a sports car? Wow.”

I chuckle. “You’d think he just made nationals or something. You’re so proud of him.”

Gabriel blushes for the first time, a tinge of pink gracing his cheeks. “Shut up.”

I grin. “Or what?”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow. “Or I touch your car.”

“Don’t you dare,” I counter lightly. “You’d be furious if I crashed your car, don’t touch mine.”

The tension snaps and we all laugh. My ribs scream at me but I can’t stop laughing. I feel like I fit right in, it’s the best feeling in the world. I haven’t fit in since Mom died, it’s been far too long.

We slowly stop laughing, gasping for breath. Cas coughs, bursting into another giggle fit. “Oh my god.”

I start laughing again, my ribs a minor nuisance barely noticeable with the waves of relief. _I fit in. I fit in somewhere._

We stop laughing again, but the huge grins stay glued on our faces anyway. Gabriel bites his tongue, trying not to laugh again. “You fit right in, Dean.”

I can’t help but grin at him. “I noticed. After eleven years of never having a place to fit, I know when I _do_ fit.”

There’s a pause and Cas drops his gaze, biting his lip. Gabriel winces. “Eleven...?”

I drop my gaze again. “Since I was four.”

“When his mom died,” Cas finishes.

Gabriel’s eyes widen a little. “Oh.”

There’s an awkward silence and the sound of the squeaky front door opening snaps us out of it.

Gabriel’s head turns. “Oh no.”

Cas’ eyes widen. “What?”

Gabriel glances back at Cas. “Quick footsteps. Ones I don’t recognize. But they’re coming this way.”

I fall silent, listening. The slap of shoes on floor grows louder until I recognize it, backing away from the door to move between the door and Cas instinctively. _Dad._

Cas frowns. “Dean...?”

I shoot a glance back at him. “ _My_ dad. You know what I mean.”

Gabriel slides back towards Cas, moving away from the door. “What?”

Cas lowers his voice. “His dad abuses him. We actually got a video of that for that very reason.”

There’s a pause before the door slams open and Dad strides in with the grace of a brewing thunderstorm.

I flinch visibly and Gabriel moves closer to me, his stance shifting from friendly to defensive—the kind of defense I’d expect for him to have around Cas, but not me.

Dad bares his teeth, spitting drunkenly, “Dean, you fucking asshole, _what have you done?_ ”

I wince, tugging on Gabriel’s sleeve. He shifts his head and I mutter, “He’s drunk. He’s not thinking straight. But he’s...a _violent_ drunk. I don’t even know what he’s talking about.”

I steel myself, returning my gaze defiantly to Dad. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about. The video.”

Cas and I exchange a glance and he mouths, “ _I sent it to Sam and you, no one else._ ”

I set my jaw. “ _What_ video?”

His anger seems to fill the room. “ _The_ video. The one you or one of your _friends_ took of us last time we fought. One of Sam’s friends sent it to me and said it was wrong.”

I groan inwardly, shooting Cas a glance. _Shit._ “Which one?”

He bares his teeth again. “Ellen.”

I blink. _She should know better. Maybe someone sent it from her phone, I don’t know._ “Ellen?”

He nods mutely. Cas shakes his head, shrugging helplessly.

Gabriel moves in front of both his brother and I. “Who are you to speak to Dean in that tone?”

Dad moves forward, his stance shifting to offensive. _Ready to punch._ “I’m his father, you imbecile. You have no room to talk to me.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrow. “ _My_ father is a doctor. And he’s always said you can’t speak to anyone with that tone.”

_He’s challenging him, oh my god._

I shake my head quickly, nudging him. “Don’t, please. He’ll hit you.”

Gabriel glances towards me, responding in equal volume, “I’d like to see him try.”

His tone is dangerous, the same growl he had when Cas said his own brother broke his foot. Protective. _Hm._

I shiver, an arm out to keep Cas out of this. He’s already injured enough.

Dad swings wildly, hitting both my ribs and arm and grazing Gabriel in the same swing.

I let out an involuntary groan, the hand not shielding Cas moving over my ribs. My ribs are already strained enough.

I shiver again, my breathing ragged. _Not again. Not here, not now. Please._

I shake out my arm and replace it over my ribs. _That’s gonna bruise. Shit._

I take a deep breath, steadying myself before lifting my gaze to his. “This isn’t the time or the place, Dad. Go, before this escalates like it always does.”

He snarls and I flinch. “ _Make me._ ”

Gabriel shakes his arm a little, rubbing the spot he got hit absently. Cas’ eyes flash with a great deal of respect for his brother. That hit still had to hurt, but he’s shaking it off. For us, for Cas and I.

Dad’s gaze flicks to Gabriel and lands back on me. “If only that demon took _you_ instead of Mary.”

I cringe. _Not now._ “She’s my _mother_ , don’t you think I wish it’d never happened? I lost an entire _life_ with her. The life I could’ve had, innocent and carefree. The life _Sammy_ could’ve had.”

“Don’t you dare bring him up!”

I flinch, eyes on the door. I know he’s on his way, it’s a gut feeling. He can’t walk in on this. “He’s my brother, I raised him. You did _nothing_. You sat on your ass and drank and drank. And you were never the same. Do you really think that’s what Mom would’ve wanted? What she would’ve expected?”

He bares his teeth, moving forward. Just far enough from the door that Sam could slip in. _Shit._ “Don’t you _dare_ bring her up! You don’t know what it was like!”

I brace myself, lowering my voice to a more dangerous tone. “Yes, I do. I didn’t talk without a violent stutter until I was twelve because of it, and I didn’t talk to anyone other than Sammy, Bobby, and you either. It was fucking traumatic.”

“Oh, right, and I’m supposed to believe that?”

I wince. _Damn it._ “Yes. Because it’s the truth. And you know it, you drunken fool.”

He swings and I dodge, pushing him away from Cas. “ _Don’t you dare disrespect me, boy!_ ”

Sam slips inside as I expected, his eyes widening as they fall on the scene before him.

I grit my teeth, pushing Gabriel in front of Cas and darting out to push Sam out of the potential line of fire. Gabriel looks surprised for a split second before registering Sam tucked safely behind me.

Sam whispers in a low, scared voice, “Dean, what…?”

I glance back at him. “Just stay behind me, Sammy. He’s drunk.”

Sam’s eyes widen. “ _What?_ ”

I grit my teeth, steadying myself defensively in front of him. “Just stay. You’ll be safe... _safer_.”

Cas’ eyes widen slightly as they flick between me and his brother. “Dean…”

I shake my head. “Save it. Now’s not the time. Please, Cas.”

“So this is the Cas you skived off class with?”

Dad’s gaze lands on Cas. Gabriel instantly moves closer, a hand out to shield his brother. “Leave my little brother alone, you asshole.”

I shiver, ignoring Sam’s questioning touch and shaking my head. _Oh no._

Dad sneers. “Oh, so you’re _his_ older brother?”

Gabriel’s eyes narrow dangerously. “What of it? I’ll protect him just like Dean’ll protect Sam. Like a big brother _should_.”

His eyes flick to Cas and understanding passes between us. _Michael._

Gabriel’s eyes return to Dad. “A  father should protect his family, not tear it apart like you have.”

Cas’ eyes twinkle with life. He steels himself. “ _Dad! Mom!_ ”

Running feet skid down the hall. Dad’s eyes turn on Cas, brimming with anger. “You little fag—”

I cut him off, slapping him with as much force as I can. My voice turns dangerous and shaking with barely controlled anger instead of fear. “Don’t you _dare_ talk to Cas like that.”

Everyone in the room is stunned into silence for a moment. Sam looks shell-shocked, Dad stunned, both Gabriel and Cas in a shocked silence.

Dad recovers first, leaping on me.

I fall under him, fighting back enough to keep him off my ribs, nothing more. But his knee manages to drive down into my ribs anyway. And God help me, I scream. I’ve never screamed like that and I never want to again...but the pain is excruciating, and it hurts to breathe or even move.

The door slams open and the weight disappears, leaving me in tears on the floor. _Breathe. For Sam, for Gabe and Cas….Breathe._

I drag air into my lungs, rolling up to my knees and dragging myself into the chair, the pain making my eyes water. I barely manage to whisper a hoarse, “ _Ow._ ”

Gabriel’s arms around me drag me back to consciousness from a half-unconscious state. “Dean. _Dean._ ”

I cough weakly, my body shaking violently even to my own senses. _Jesus. I’ve never fought back before._

I shake myself, my eyes refocusing and landing on Gabriel, concern wrinkling his face. “Dean.”

I release my breath, swallowing and dragging in another. “I-I’m okay. I think. Just hurts to breathe.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “You’re shaking like hell, Dean, and you don’t stutter anymore.”

I shake my head. “It’s not that. It’s just...I’ve never really….”

“Fought him,” Gabriel finishes knowingly.

I nod slowly. “Yeah. And it made him worse. _He got worse._ Just when I thought it was impossible for him to get worse, he did.”

Sam whines. “Dean, why didn’t you say something about it? _Anything?_ ”

I glance at him. “We’ve been through this already, Sammy.”

Cas stumbles down to my side, his eyes wide with shock and fear. “You okay?”

I reach out to squeeze his shoulder. “I’m okay. Just...a little scared.”

“Yeah,” Cas agrees quietly. “Of your own _dad_. Which is unnerving.”

I shrug, suppressing a shiver. “ _He’s_ unnerving.”

“Can’t tell why at all,” Gabriel murmurs lightly. “Sure you’re okay?”

I drop my gaze and lower my voice. “No one’s ever gotten in the way like you did. Like, we’re always alone.”

Gabriel seems to recognize the question behind it. “Dean, I’m not just gonna stand by doing nothing. You saved my brother’s life, I _can’t_ do nothing.”

“ _Can’t_ is a strong word,” I counter quietly. “People bypass things like that all the time. Look at Cas, no one did anything about it.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “Dean, I _can’t_ . I _won’t_ . It hurts just to see how much you’re protesting. They were far enough away from Cas there was reasonable doubt they heard him. Your scream echoed through the building. _Everyone_ heard it.”

Eli kneels down next to me, radiating concern. “I can personally attest to that. We were in the waiting room when you screamed like that.”

I fidget uneasily, wincing. _Damn._

Sam’s hand touches mine, trembling slightly. “Dean, that was fucking terrifying. I never wanna hear you scream like that again.”

My hand instantly moves to cover his. _I don’t want you to be scared._ “That’s the extent of what you’ve been missing. Except he was worse this time.”

Sam frowns. “Worse?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

There’s a tense silence during which Ellen is hissing a stream of curses under her breath, Jo is on the verge of tears, both of Cas’ parents wince and exchange a glance, Gabriel swallows hard, Cas shivers, and Sam chokes. _This is why I didn’t say anything about it—Sam, Jo, Ellen, and Cas’ reactions to the news. Even Gabriel’s reaction is making me uneasy._

The silence is broken when I move my hand over my ribs, lightly rubbing my arm where it got hit.

Naomi frowns, exchanging a glance with Eli. “How much does it hurt?”

I drop my gaze, chewing on my lip. “Not much. Sore more than anything.”

Cas reaches out, tilting his head a little and resting his fingers on my wrist with a light and unsure touch. “Dean, look me in the eye and tell me you’re fine.”

My eyes flick towards him, a softer and less tough part of me waking up like a sleeping dragon. I chew on my lip again, flipping my hand to close it on his. “I’m okay. Or at least, I will be. No one can reasonably deny the validity of what he just did; no reason to suspect fraud, not with in-person witnesses. Half of which are neither family nor family-friends.”

Cas slips a finger under my chin, tilting my head up so our eyes meet. “You mean you’re still scared. And will be until this whole thing is over.”

I wince, unable to pull away but unwilling to meet his knowing gaze. He’s saying he understands—the whole thing with Michael is probably similar in that way.

I sigh quietly and drop my eyes from his, admitting defeat. “Maybe.”

Gabriel’s eyes flick towards his brother, narrowing just a little as he picks up on the same understanding energy I’m getting off of him. “Cas…”

He shakes his head. “Not now.”

Gabriel, to my surprise, closes his mouth but still looks unnerved.

His parents exchange a glance, bewildered, but stay silent.

Ellen finally falls silent, pulling me in for a tight hug. The pain in my ribs flares again but I ignore it, wrapping my arms around her. “He had no right to—you shouldn’t’ve had to go through that, son, any of it. At the very least, not _alone_.”

I’m painfully reminded of Mom, but I relax into her touch nonetheless. “Ellen, shouldn’t is a strong word.”

I pull away to look at her. “He said if I didn’t keep my mouth shut, he’d go after Sam. After Jo. So I didn’t risk it. Drunk or not, he’s dangerous.”

There’s another silence as both Sam and Jo process that, as Cas and his family take it in.

I finally break it. “I wasn’t quiet for no reason. _No way in hell_ I’d let him anywhere near Sam, or near Jo. I played it safe. Always have.”

There’s a pause, and to my surprise it’s Cas—shy, uncertain Cas—who pulls me in for a hug. My arms slip around him, my head falling on his. The touch is brotherly, not romantic, but I definitely notice it. His voice is quiet and everyone seems to be talking at once—some in surprise, others in interest at him hugging me—as he whispers, “I saw how bad you were shaking. Standing up to him had to be tough—don’t try to tell me it isn’t—but you did it anyway. No one’s ever done that for me. _Thank you._ ”

I tighten the grip, my eyes closing. “He had no right. You’re not his son and you sure as hell don’t deserve his anger. You never have and you never will. Just like Sam, you’re an angel and I’m not going to let him spoil that.”

Cas’ uncertain and light grip turns tight and warm. “Dean...”

I grin. “Shut up. You know you’re a nerdy little angel.”

Cas blushes scarlet. “And he has no right to treat anyone like that, least of all you. Just in the three days now that I’ve known you, you’ve been kind and funny and smart and understanding in ways most people aren’t. Your first instinct is to protect and provide for others, you come second to yourself. You’re the only one I know who’s like that, and yet he treats you like you’re nothing. Look how many lives you’ve saved, just in the time I’ve known you. And you’ve just started to care about yourself.”

Heat floods my cheeks and I laugh quietly, breathlessly. “No one’s ever said that before.”

“Well, they should.”

Sam shakes his head. “Cas is right, Dean.”

“Even I would agree and I’ve only known you for--” Gabriel pauses to check his watch. “Just under an hour.”

I bury my face, burning hot, in Cas’ shoulder. _Oh my god._

Cas buries his face in my chest, grinning. His voice is even quieter. “Told you.”

I grin in spite of myself, eyes closed. “Shut up.”

I barely register that I’m hugging him and he me. I’m holding a life in my arms--a shitty one, but one nonetheless. And for the first time since Mom, someone other than Bobby is hugging me. _Bobby was more my father than Dad ever was. Still is. Only difference now is Dad’s outta the picture. And Cas, his family...they’re part of my family now. Like Bobby said, family doesn’t end in blood--but hey, it sure as hell don’t start there, either. Dad isn’t family, he’s blood. Cas is, but not in blood._

Cas chuckles. “Make me.”

I lower my voice. “You do realize you’re the closest to being my brother--in all but blood--that anyone’s ever gotten?”

Cas flushes scarlet and buries his face again. I drop my head on his, using the hold to lift some weight off his broken foot. “R-really?”

I grin, eyes closed. “Yeah. And it’s only been three days. Not even three yet.”

Cas’ blush deepens and he grins. “That your way of saying you’ll be sticking around?”

I chuckle lightly. “Maybe.”

Cas lifts his gaze to mine. “You’d be the first.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s B.S., cause you’re awesome. Best thing to ever happen to me. Dad’s done for, for the first time in my very long ass life.”

Cas flushes scarlet, his eyes twinkling with interest. “You’re only sixteen.”

“Yeah, twelve of which I’ve spent avoiding my dad. Makes time pretty slow.”

Cas shakes his head. “Only spent a year avoiding Michael.”

There’s a pause before I shake my head. “You shouldn’t have to avoid your own brother. Just....I don’t know.”

“I know,” Cas agrees quietly. “But….you saw what he’s like.”

I shrug. “Yeah, and it’s bullshit.”

Cas tries for a minute or so to fight the smile crawling across his face, but he’s fighting a losing battle. The smile wins out and he grins helplessly. “Yeah, I know.”

I loosen my grip a little, trying to ignore the rush of pain from my ribs. “’Course you do.”

Cas blushes scarlet and releases me, running his fingers through his hair. The move ruffles his hair and I grin, ruffling his hair. “Your hair’s fluffy.”

He flushes crimson and swats my hand away playfully. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” I challenge lightly.

I shake my head, grinning and ruffling his hair. “You’re adorable.”

“Agreed,” Gabriel chimes in.

Cas flushes scarlet and swats at Gabriel. “Don’t even start, oh my god.”

Gabriel grins. “Once you’re better.”

I scoop Cas up, moving over to set him down on the hospital bed. My arm and ribs both protest loudly, but I manage it.

Cas bursts into a giggle fit, burying his flaming red face in the pillow. Gabriel grins, delighted. “Dean, did you seriously just _carry_ Cassie?”

I grin, chuckling. “So?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “ _So_ isn’t that weird?”

I roll my eyes. “He’s my brother and his foot’s broken. Deal with it.”

Gabriel grins. “He’s _my_ brother.”

I swat at him. “You know what I mean.”

Sam tugs on my sleeve. “Can we talk? About...you know.”

I shrug, following him out of the room.


	16. That's The Whole Of It (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won’t have to bear it alone. If anything, Gabriel won’t let me. He’s always been there for me.  
> “If he wasn’t already in jail, I’d wring his neck,” Gabriel growls, breaking the silence at last."
> 
> ~~OR~~
> 
> Cas can't sleep, gets up to find Anna has finally arrived. Tells whole backstory with Michael. Gabriel is, naturally, pissed. Cas is sweet, shy, and he tells both Anna and Gabriel 'it's not your fault.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be Cas' POV for a while now; currently, what's going on has to be his POV. :D
> 
> Listening to "Brave" by Sara Bareilles. Song changes next chapter.

I rub my eyes, sliding out of bed. Voices down in the entryway are keeping me from sleeping, even though I know I should. I peek into the hall, looking around. Gabe’s door is open, as are Mom and Dad’s, Dean’s, and Sam’s doors.  _ Strange. _

I shake my head, slipping towards the stairs and peeking around the corner.

An unlikely scene meets my eyes. Sam and Dean are shaking hands with Anna, and Mom and Dad have huge grins on their faces. Gabriel waits patiently before pulling her in for a tight and welcoming hug.  _ Anna. _

Mixed emotions well up within me. Relief.  _ She really did come.  _ Uncertainty.  _ She hasn’t treated me all that well in the past.  _ Joy.  _ She’ll be here for Christmas. She came because I called. Not because she had to. She dropped her so-high-demand job and life in L.A. to come visit me, to make sure I’m okay. ...But she still treated me like shit and I won’t forget that. And yet, here she is. Came because of me, because of what Michael did. _

I adjust my weight on the crutches, the plastic uncomfortable.

Dean’s eyes move up the stairs over to me, but no one else seems to notice. It’s like an impulse. After some extensive x-rays and after Dad had some metal plate put in his ribs to help it heal, Dean had been able to walk away, thank God. He’s been so nice, even to the point of getting himself hurt over me. I can’t believe he’s so tough. Broken ribs hurt like a bitch.

Dean slips away stealthily, dodging around the corner and ruffling my hair. “Hey.”

I grin helplessly, shaking my head. “Hey. Can’t sleep.”

“Same,” Dean agrees. He glances towards them, lowering his voice. “Not that I’d ever admit it in front of  _ Doctor Novak _ , but broken ribs hurt like a bitch. Can’t sleep comfortably or anything.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s hard to be comfortable with a big ass cast on my fucking foot.”

Dean giggles, slipping an arm around me and lowering the crutches safely and quietly to the ground. “Yeah, that makes sense. Anna’s here. She’s not too bad now that Gabriel’s around.”

“I figured,” I agree. “She’s a little goody-two-shoes around him.”

Dean grins. “I noticed. She had a serious case of passive-aggressive behavior.”

I chuckle. “She likes you. That’s what it means. Despite her being hostile, she’s not  _ openly _ so, which means she likes you. Whether or not she’d ever admit it. She’s always been passive-aggressive to me, it’s nothing new.”

Sam calls up the stairs, “Dean?”

Dean grins. “I’ve been summoned. Wanna come?”

I shrug. “Why the hell not?”

We slowly round the corner, and I allow my weight to fall on Dean. He supports me with no complaint, literally fucking  _ carrying me _ down the stairs before returning to the supporting arm over to the door, a huge grin on his face. “Heya, Sammy.”

Sam grins, shaking his head. “Hey, Cas.”

Anna turns and her eyes widen as they fall on me. I ignore her for a moment, nodding to Sam. “Hey. Can’t sleep.”

Dad frowns. “Pain?”

I shake my head. “Big ass cast on my foot. Duh.”

Gabriel chuckles, ruffling my hair. “Still sarcastic and adorable. Good to know.”

Heat floods my cheeks and I stick my tongue out at him. “Shut up.”

He grins, shaking his head. “If you  _ insist. _ ”

Anna takes in the various bruises all over, the huge cast on my foot, before her eyes return to my face. “Cas?”

The voice is much softer, more concerned, than the irritated voice over the phone nor the voice she had just been using around Gabriel.  _ Genuine. _

I look up just a little to meet her gaze, using the angle to lean a little more into Dean.  _ I still don’t trust her. I don’t even know what to say. _

Dean notices the motion, his grip tightening. My eyes flick gratefully to him.  _ I trust him. More than I trust my own sister. He’d probably say that’s sad, too. I don’t know. My family life is fucked up in all aspects, or so it is according to Sam and Dean. And they’re the tightest-knit brothers I know. _

Anna pulls into the entryway, closer to me. Her eyes have gone from flustered,  _ frustrated _ , to soft and concerned.  _ It might only be temporary. _

I try my hardest not to cringe into Dean, trying to trust her. Even a little. But after what happened with Michael, and after she called me a faggot and everything, it’s hard.  _ Really _ hard.

She takes in the bruises again, a frown wiping the smile off her face. “You okay?”

I raise an eyebrow a little, glancing towards Dean. “I’ve been better.”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I meant.  _ Really _ okay.”

I shrug casually. “Not really, no. How am I supposed to feel? This is  _ Michael _ we’re talking about. Our Michael. Big brother, tough little Michael. I don’t know. I want to think he’s just been going through something rough, rolling with a rough crowd maybe. Give him the benefit of doubt. But what he said to Dean made me rethink that.”

Anna’s gaze flicks up to Dean. “What?”

I glance up at Dean, mouthing, “ _ What he said when you asked what he thought he was doing. _ ”

Dean nods in a show of understanding and he mouths back, “ _ Oh, that. _ ” He sighs. “I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. And he said ‘ _ I can do whatever I want. He’s a faggot and I live with him. _ ’ And I said that didn’t give him the right to treat Cas like that. That was...like,  _ damn _ . He’s talking about his own  _ brother _ . I could never.”

His eyes flick towards Sam. Mom and Dad both look horrified in different degrees— _ I didn’t want to bring that up to them. What he’d said. But it’s true—I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt, but after what he said my faith is shaky. I could never understand. _ And Gabriel looks downright furious. I’d known better than to mention it in front of him, let alone Mom and Dad. Jo and Ellen, too—they both look horrified.

Anna’s eyes widen and she splutters, “He said  _ what _ ?”

Dean shrugs. “Like I said. I don’t know, that shook me a bit and I didn’t even know who he  _ was _ then. Just some bullies who’d picked on Sam and I didn’t want to see them pick on someone else.”

I swallow, my eyes flicking nervously towards Gabriel.  _ I don’t really want him to hear this. But I can’t really send him away, either. I love him, I do. But I don’t want him to know how bad it was. _

I adjust uneasily, dropping my gaze. “Like I said, I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel, what to think. He was just himself over the summer. It wasn’t until...”

I pause, glancing at Gabriel again before closing my eyes, forcing myself to continue. “Until Gabe left.”

Gabriel protests weakly. I hold up a hand to stop him. “Hey, not your fault. Not at all. That’s  _ his _ problem. But he got worse. When you left last year, he was just angsty all the time. Jumpy. He snapped when I asked what was wrong, told me to leave him alone and that it was none of my business.”

There’s a silence and I can feel the eyes on me. But I again force myself to continue, to get this out of my system before it kills me. “The last month before summer was the worst. He kept saying ‘what if he never comes back’ in this high-pitched little kid-like voice. I don’t know, I didn’t understand or know what to make of it. And then he started rolling with Lucifer for the first time.”

My head falls against Dean. “I asked him if he wanted anything, I tried to reach out to him. But he wouldn’t answer. He ignored me. Entirely. Then he started ignoring Anna, too. That was...the weirdest thing he’d ever done, to say the least. He loved her. More than me. Not her fault, either, but he did. I don’t know.”

I take a deep breath, shaking my head. “The moment you got back, he was normal again. Back to himself. He spoke, however briefly, when I reached out. He was more polite. He talked to Anna again.”

Anna nods. “Yeah, I do remember that. He just wouldn’t answer me. My texts remained unanswered. Then as soon as Gabe was back around, he was normal. Or normal as he could be. He texted back at last just to say he loves me. Then he stopped again. I didn’t make the same connection Cas did, though.”

I keep my eyes closed. If I don’t, I’ll start crying. “He stopped the moment Gabe was gone, yeah. I saw the signs, noticed the total change in demeanor. I tried to reach out again.”

Dean adjusts his grip on me, his head falling on mine in a silent show of support.  _ I tried, I really did. _

I shiver. “He was different. Completely. He started hanging with Uriel, Gadreel, Raphael. I tried to reach out and he blocked my number. I tried to talk to him and he never responded. Finally I’d had enough.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep my lip from trembling. “I said I knew something was wrong. That both Anna and I missed him. That if he needed someone to talk to, we were all here for him. Anna and I, Mom and Dad. Gabe. But he pushed me away. Like,  _ physically _ pushed. And I gave up, walked away. I tried to ignore it...but of course, I had to try again.”

I take a deep breath, ignoring the shakiness of it. “So I did. I told him he was growing distant and it hurt. That he was drifting away and none of us knew why. And that...”

I lift my free hand to brush my cheek and drop it again. “That was the first time he hit me.”

Gabriel inhales sharply but doesn’t say anything. I can almost taste the tension in the room.

I swallow. “It didn’t just  _ physically _ sting. It stunned me. He’d never been violent before. He’d never even considered it, he seemed repelled by it. Then he went and hit me. Told me it was none of Anna and I’s business what he was going through and to leave him alone.”

I shake my head. “I never could. I tried and tried again. And he got  _ worse. _ ”

There’s a stunned silence and I sigh, continuing quietly into the echoey silence, “He got  _ worse _ . He hit me again. And again. And this last time...”

I shrug helplessly. “He made the approach.  _ He _ spoke to  _ me _ . But not in the way I’d hoped.”

Dean nods. “His girlfriend.”

I nod affirmatively. “Yeah. He said he’d caught me ‘stealing looks at’ his girl. Said ‘she’s mine and mine alone and you don’t get to look at her like that’. I said I’m not even interested, because I’m  _ not. _ Because I’m homo. You know the outcome of that. He never stopped. I doubt he would’ve till I was long dead—if Dean hadn’t’ve heard me scream when Raphael broke my foot. His whole gang got in on it. It hurt to move, hurt to breathe. I couldn’t believe that after months on end of no contact, that was why he broke it. And it hurt. More than physical pain, it was emotional. I didn’t understand. I don’t, I still don’t.”

I stop at last, leaving a ringing silence. A weight lifts off my shoulders.  _ I won’t have to bear it alone. If anything, Gabriel won’t let me. He’s always been there for me. _

“If he wasn’t already in jail, I’d wring his neck,” Gabriel growls, breaking the silence at last.

“Hell yeah,” Anna agrees furiously. “I had no idea what he was doing.”

Her arms weave around me, warm and comforting. The mild discomfort from my bruises and our last argument is small enough to ignore. “He had no right to treat you like that.”

Dean finally moves again. “Jesus, Cas.  _ You _ were the older brother, you played the part. More than anything. You tried to find out what was wrong, you tried everything. And he was unresponsive if not violent. Like, holy hell. Like I said, I could never. That’s just...I don’t have the words.”

Sam moves forward to hug Dean tightly. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes close. “I love ya, too, Sammy.”

Anna releases me only for Gabriel to lift me off my feet into his arms, squeezing the life out of me. “I love you, Cas.”

A soft smile plays on my lips and I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. “I love you, too, Gabe. Best big bro ever.”

Gabriel grins, kissing my cheek right where I’d touched it. Right where the imprint of Michael’s hand was still burned like a hot iron. “Of course I am. But you’re the best, nerdiest little bro I could’ve hoped for.”

I can’t keep the grin off my face at that. “No I’m not. Not so much nerdy as geeky little sports-car lover.”

Gabriel laughs. “There is that.”

Gabriel lowers me to the ground only for me to be smothered by Sam. His voice is low and comforting. “I’ve never dealt with what you have, but no fucking way that’s okay. You hear me? Don’t let anyone treat you like that again.”

Despite the surprise of being hugged by someone I don’t know all that well, I relax into the touch anyway. “Not planning on it. Only reason I went through all that for him is he’s my brother. Even if I don’t really like it.”

Sam chuckles. “That I can understand. Dean’s definitely someone I’d go through some hard times with, but we’d come out fine. I don’t know what’s wrong with Michael, but something’s wrong with his head.”

I grin, overcome with relief.  _ Anna, Gabriel, Sam. That’s their way of saying they’re on my side. _

I look up to find Dean being smothered by Mom and Dad respectively, and him with a shy smile on his face.  _ Oh my god. That’s just...hilarious. _

Sam’s gaze follows mine and a grin cracks across his face. “Your parents love him.”

I chuckle. “More like they actually listened to how he saved my life.”

Sam chuckles quietly. “Yeah, but he’s so embarrassed. He’s rarely like that.”

“Good,” I come back with. “Trying new things is great.”

Sam grins, releasing me to ruffle my hair. “Totally.”

Mom pulls away from Dean to smother me in hugs and shower me with a thousand kisses before even saying anything. “I had no idea what you were going through, honey, that’s just so...it’s not okay. Don’t ever let someone treat you like that again, family or not.”

I shrug, a smile pulling up one corner of my mouth. “I won’t. First time, worst time. That’s why first is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the treasure chest. Practice,  _ experience _ , makes perfection.”

Mom grins, releasing me at last and ruffling my hair. “If anyone ever does that,  _ tell me _ . Okay?”

I nod firmly.  _ Always. _ “Of course.”

She grins again and turns to shower Anna with the same love.

Dad pulls me in for a more ‘manly’ hug, patting my back and holding on tightly, before he says a word. “You’re mother’s right, it’s not okay. Doesn’t matter if it’s Michael or someone you’ve never met, no one’s allowed to treat you like that. You hear me?  _ No one _ can treat you like that.”

Another smile tugs on my lips. “I hear you.”

He ruffles my hair, landing one kiss on my cheek.  _ Right where I touched. Jeez, everyone seems to realize that’s where he hit me. This is all so overwhelming. Sam, Gabe, Anna. Mom and Dad. _

Ellen pulls me in for a hug, startling me. “Honey, doesn’t matter who it is. No one has the right to treat you like that. Least of all your own  _ brother _ . It’s just....I don’t have the words.”

“Wrong?” I suggest innocently, remember what Dean would say. “Insane? Could never do it?”

Ellen grins. “Yeah. Exactly. Completely and utterly wrong on a level impossible to describe.”

I smile faintly. “I got that impression just from watching everyone’s reactions.”

Ellen shakes her head. “You’re a lovely boy, you’re sweet and understanding and loving and you have so much more to give. Focus that fondness, that same love you spent on Michael...focus it somewhere else. Focus it on a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even just a friend like Sam. Spend it where it’ll be appreciated. Okay?”

Heat floods my cheeks and I manage a smile weak with relief.  _ Ellen.  _ “Okay.”

Jo slips her arms around me as her mother releases me. “I couldn’t imagine...but doesn’t change how wrong it is! He had no right to...he shouldn’t’ve...I can’t even find the right words. He should know better!”

I shrug weakly. “I know, but there’s that word.  _ Should _ . We use it often, but...should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. Should’ve known better. Could’ve done more. Would’ve done something different. It gets us nowhere. We can’t change the past. We can’t change that people think and act and do things a certain way, or how they react to something. We can’t change the inevitable—but we choose how to react to it. How to grow, how to change, how to view the world in light of our experiences. And I prefer to view the world with the light of hope rather than the darkness of the past.”

There’s a silence and Jo whispers, “That is the wisest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Ellen shakes her head. “As I said. Damn, Cas.”

Dean blinks rapidly before recovering. “That’s just...I don’t know, inspiring? You should be a public speaker. Like, seriously Cas, wow. Public speaker’s most moving speech right there.”

Heat floods my cheeks. “Everyone says should, it’s just...I don’t know. I can’t help but think it doesn’t change anything, doesn’t change what happened.”

There’s another silence which breaks at last with Gabriel laughing. “I didn’t even think about it that way. Hey, you’re wiser than me and I’m almost twice as old as you. Look at that.”

I grin, calculating that in my head.  _ Gabe’s twenty-six. So I’m, what, fifteenish? That narrows it down a bit more. _ “I wasn’t thinking  _ wisely _ , just...I don’t know. It’s true.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “Exactly. But you’re the first to put it in words like that.”

I shrug. “So?”

Jo shakes her head. “ _ So _ you’re wiser than you think.”

I shake my head. “Takes a ton of bad experiences to get it, though.”

Jo shrugs. “Yeah, but  _ damn _ .”


	17. I Can Fix That (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean taking care of Cas. Lots of fluff. Dean gets called a Hufflepuff and Cas a Ravenclaw. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starts right at the end of previous chapter. Listening to "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles.
> 
> Cas' POV, as previously stated.

Dean weaves back through the crowd to lift me off Jo, taking my weight like it’s nothing even though I know he’s hurting. That’s just how he is, what he does. He takes care of others, even at his own expense.

He pulls out, falling still and not saying a word when I fall into him.  _ He’s strong. A person who’s always there for you at all times, someone who would do anything for you. Anything for Sam, anything for Jo. Anything for me. The kind of person everyone looks for but very few try to be. He’s a Hufflepuff, in the true sense of the house. He’s what a Hufflepuff is supposed to be. And despite the fact that I know he’s hurting, he’s taking care of me. Because that’s just what he does, always. Someone you can count on. He stays strong even when he’s weak, just for the people he cares about. The people he loves. Like his brother, his friends. I wish more people were like him. The world would be a better place. _

I shake my head, my head falling against his arm.  _ Emotionally exhausted and yet I can’t sleep. I’m not...physically tired enough. I don’t know. Maybe he’ll try to fix that, too, like he does everything. _

Dean tightens his grip, murmuring, “You tired?”

I shrug. “Mentally, emotionally.”

“But not physically,” Dean finishes knowingly.

I nod slowly, yawning. “Yep. It’s, what, one in the morning? Still can’t sleep.”

Dean shrugs. “I can fix that.”

Dean’s eyes find Gabriel’s over the heads of Jo and Ellen and he mouths, “ _ Gonna go to bed. _ ”

Gabriel nods in a show of understanding before his eyes return to the people around him.

He scoops me up, carrying me back up the stairs. I shake my head, unable to fight the smile off my face.

He glances down at me halfway up. “What?”

I chuckle. “You. You’re tired, you’re hurt, yet you’re more worried about me than anything. It’s...endearing.”

Dean grins, blushing pink to the tips of his ears. “That’s just how I roll.”

He pauses to catch his breath at the top of the stairs, shaking his head. “Besides, you can’t climb stairs.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but Dean. You’re just...I don’t know. I’m too fucking tired to string a sentence together to explain it. You’re a Hufflepuff.”

Dean grins, tousling my hair. ”Geek.”

I grin. “My specialty. Besides, you are. Everything that the founder valued bottled inside one person. Hard working, determined, loyal as hell. Puts others before themselves. You. Are. A. Hufflepuff.”

“You’re a fucking Ravenclaw,” Dean shoots back.

I giggle, dropping my head against his chest. “So what? Ravenclaws are original, independent, strong, intelligent, witty, hardworking...and they too can take on aspects of the other houses.”

He shakes his head. “You’re adorable.”

I shrug. “Can’t really deny it. Not like I try...much.”

Dean grins and finally starts moving again. “Awww, widdle Cassie tries to be cutie?”

I swat at him. “Shut up.”

“Well, it’s working either way,” Dean finishes.

I shake my head. “Just like Gabe. Serious one second, totally sarcastic the next. I like it.”

Dean grins, ruffling my hair. “Good.”

He nudges my door open with his foot and I vaguely register he’s never really been in my room before. His eyes widen as they take in the multitude of geeky stuff all over the extensive wall space, and the beautiful, hand-painted mural on the ceiling. It gave the impression of being in a forest at night.

Dean shakes his head, breathing, “This is your  _ room _ ?”

I grin helplessly, giggling. “Yeah, so what?”

He shakes his head again. “I’m used to shitty motel rooms and crappy hotels. This is just...damn. Like, seriously...geeky and stuff, but damn. Like, all the geeky stuff on the walls. But that mural. And that  _ view. _ ”

I glance up at the mural, lowering my voice. “It’s handpainted. By my great-great grandma.”

“Damn,” Dean whispers. “That’s...wow.”

I shrug. “We own the forest.”

Dean’s gaze flicks to the forest out the window. “You  _ what _ ?”

I grin shyly. “We. Own. That. Forest. All of it, everything you can see, is ours.”

Dean glances again. “Holy fuck.”

I grin helplessly, curling into him. “I know. Still crazy and I’ve lived here my whole life. Thank god for my grandparents being rich and everything.”

He finally moves over to the queen-size bed, still shaking his head. “Totally.”

He lowers me down and tucks me in like a little kid before sitting down next to me, brushing my hair lightly out of my face. “What songs do you like?”

I shrug, snuggling deep in the blankets. “I don’t know, surprise me.”

He considers it for a moment before starting to hum Metallica. For some reason, the way he does it is comforting and my eyes drop closed, exhaustion winning out over restlessness and I succumb to sleep.


	18. Slept In (Cas' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean both crashed in Cas' bed. :D Fluff and alfredo. (Can you tell I'm hungry? LMAO)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV because there's some stuff that Dean wouldn't have.
> 
> Listening to many songs here; "100 Years" by Five For Fighting, "Harry" from A Very Potter Musical or AVPM, "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles. Choose which you'd like to listen to.

I wake up to find a warm blanket tossed over me, and Dean snuggled under the blankets with me. He must’ve crashed—his legs are dangling off the edge.

It’s daylight at last, the sun high in the sky. I glance towards my clock sleepily. _One...pm? My parents never let me sleep that late. Wow._

Dean stirs, curling up—which pulls his legs onto the bed—and rubbing his ribs.

I rub my eyes, watching him slowly wake up. It’s more amusing than anything, but it is understandable. We were both totally wiped out. Besides, he’s on the edge of the bed and I’m in the other end so it’s not like it’s awkward.

He groans, rubbing his eyes. “Damn ribs.”

I grin, shaking my head. “Take it you crashed?”

He flips over and blushes. “Yeah.”

I shrug. “Hey, we were both wiped out. It’s okay. Mom let me sleep past ten a.m. for once.”

I nod to the clock. Dean’s eyes flick to it before falling back on me. “You sure?”

I lift the blanket with one hand. “I’d say she’s cool with it. Besides, friends have sleep overs. Right?”

Dean winces. “How little do you know? And yeah, they do.”

I shrug. “Considering I’ve never had friends before, I don’t know anything. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. And point being, we’re friends. So it’s cool.”

Dean smiles shyly, his hair a mess and his eyes blurry with sleep. “’Kay.”

I can’t keep from grinning again. “Your hair’s a mess. It’s so short that’s almost impossible.”

He flushes and smiles back. “Not so impossible.”

I brush his hair out of his face, taking in the way he blushes and smiles, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles. “You’re adorable.”

He flushes scarlet. “No, I’m not.”

I grin. “Yes, you are. And you have the sleepiest eyes first thing in the morning.”

His blush deepens. “Shut up.”

I roll my eyes, grinning. “Make me.”

Dean buries his face in the pillow, laughing. “I’ve never been this tired before.”

“Understandable,” I counter lightly. “Longest week of my life.”

“Same,” Dean agrees, peeking up at me. The look takes my breath away, even if that wasn’t his intention. “It’ll take a while to recover. There’s just so much going on.”

I shrug casually. “It’ll take a while to heal. Both emotionally and physically, for both of us. Don’t try to tell me it doesn’t hurt because I know it does. He’s still your dad, right? Even if he’s an ass. Just like Michael; he’s still my brother. Even though he’s been an ass. I still care.”

Dean bites his lip, murmuring brokenly, “I know.”

I reach out, taking his hand in mine. “But you sure as hell aren’t alone. Not only is _my_ family there for you, because they like you _and_ you saved my life, but Jo and Ellen are there. So’s your brother. Sam would never let you suffer alone. Hell, Sam, Jo, and Ellen basically said they’d be there for me and they don’t even know me all that well.”

His eyes flick to the hand on his before his fingers close on my hand. “That’s cause it’s impossible not to like you.”

Heat floods my cheeks and I grin. “Really?”

He shrugs. “If you’re not an ass like Lucifer, Raphael, and his crowd, then yes. You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re so full of concern and love for all those around you. You’re shy, but it’s flat out cute. You’re basically the best thing to ever happen to me. And that’s saying something since my life’s been shitty.”

My cheeks are on fire. _Oh my god. Oh my god. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?_

Dean grins, brushing hair out of my eyes. “And I like your hair messy, it’s cute.”

I grin helplessly. “No it’s not.”

Dean runs his fingers through my hair, sending shivers down my spine. “Yes it is.”

I try in vain to drop my eyes. I can’t force myself to break the eye contact. I shake my head, whispering, “Shut up.”

Dean squeezes my hand. “Make me.”

I finally manage to drop my gaze, grinning. “There’s nothing I could do that would shut you up that I actually could follow through with. Cause I can’t touch your car, I like it too much.”

He falls silent, drawing my eyes back up. His eyes are shining with surprise and respect. “What?”

He tilts his head, just a little. “You like my car?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah. Of course I do.”

He shakes his head. “Lucifer tried to trash it once. Said it was a shitty car and everything. I said it was my dad’s and he had no right to treat it like that. Totally surprised him.”

I scoff. “He’s just an ass.”

“Yeah,” Dean agrees quietly, “He is.”

I turn my hand so our fingers lace together. “I could never touch your car. Like, I drove her. She’s perfect.”

His gaze flicks up. “She?”

I shrug. “Yep.”

He grins. “She’s my baby.”

I grin back. “She’s a beauty.”

“I love it when you talk cars to me,” Dean murmurs, eyes studying me in awe.

I shrug casually, amused. “I ride in Gabe’s Mustang. I know when a car’s a beauty.”

Dean grins, the sleep draining from his eyes only to be replaced by delight. “He’s got a Mustang?”

“Red and black,” I murmur softly. “Two thousand eight.”

Dean ruffles my hair. “You have the best older bro. That’s a sweet ride right there.”

“You shoulda seen Michael and Lucifer’s faces when Gabe drove me to school,” I chuckle lightly.

Dean grins, no doubt imagining it. “Serves them right.”

I rub my eyes, considering getting up. _I’m hungry, certainly, but that requires going down the stairs. Ugh._

Dean seems to be thinking along the same lines. “Food.”

I chuckle. “Yeah. But stairs. Wasn’t really a problem before my foot was broken.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I can carry you. You’re surprisingly light weight.”

Heat touches my cheeks and I grin. “I’m not _that_ light weight. You’re just strong.”

Dean smirks. “That a compliment?”

I giggle. “Sure, take it how you will.”

Dean rolls up, using our intertwined hands to detangle me from the blankets.

I yawn, glancing at the clock. Two o’clock. Surprised that Mom hasn’t come back, at the least.

I pull on another AD/DC shirt I got from Gabe, one I know he’ll recognize. I ‘borrowed’ it a couple years ago and didn’t give it back because it meant I had him with me wherever I went, whether he was at home or at college.

Dean grins. “How many of those do you have?”

I shrug. “Keeps him with me wherever he is. So a lot. Though he’ll probably recognize this one, it was his favorite before he outgrew it.”

I rub the sleep from my eyes, catching the admiring glance from Dean. “What?”

He grins. “Nothing.”

I roll my eyes. “Ha, nice try.”

His grin widens and he chuckles. “You have the most beautiful sleepy blue eyes in the morning. And you admire your brother far more than you let on. More than Sam seems to.”

I shake my head. “Dean, he admires you more than he lets on. Just like me. You’re his hero. That’s why he was so upset you didn’t let him help you. I’d be upset if Gabe did that. But it’s more concern than it is true anger, it’s more an ‘ _oh my god you’re hurt, why didn’t you let me help_ ’ than an ‘ _oh my god you fucking idiot_ ’. Get what I’m saying?”

Dean blushes. “Yeah.”

I toss Dean one of the AC/DC shirts I don’t wear all that often. “Here.”

He catches it. “Aren’t you gonna...?”

I shake my head. “I don’t wear it that often.”

He shrugs, lifting his shirt off carefully. The purplish bruise over his ribs draws my eyes and I wince, glancing towards the clock again. “I’ve never slept in so late. It’s weird. It’s already lunchtime.”

Dean chuckles. “Same.”

He pulls the shirt on with barely a wince. “I don’t usually sleep later than seven. I make Sammy breakfast.”

I grin. “You don’t have to anymore. We have a personal housecook.”

Dean chuckles. “That’ll take some getting used to.”

I shrug, pulling out my phone. One text from Mom.

**_(10:35AM)_ **

**_I know you won’t get this for a while. Dad is home. Gabriel went out to take Anna to the store. Anna wanted some special frozen meal or something for lunch. Mustang’s gone. Jo and Ellen went home, said to text or call when you’re awake. They’re concerned about you. Dad called in and said he won’t be in since his son’s foot is broken and his friend has broken ribs, they said he has the day off to take care of you boys. Sam went with Gabriel just to see the Mustang, not sure if he went back inside or if he went to the store. I went to work, one of us should work today. Love you. ~Mom_ **

I can’t help the soft smile. Dean wanders over, peeking at it. “What’d she say?”

I shrug. “Gabe and Anna went to the store. Sam may or may not have gone with, they took the Mustang. Jo and Ellen went home but said to call or text once we wake up. Dad’s home, he called in so he could take care of us. Mom’s at work. So unless Sam stayed, we’re pretty much home alone. Dad’ll fuss over us a bit but he’s not as bad as Mom would be.”

Dean pulls out his phone, dialing Jo. She picks up immediately. “Dean!”

Dean chuckles. “Woah, Jo, cool it. I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

“I noticed!” She laughs. “You crashed big time. Never seen you hanging halfway off a bed but asleep like that.”

Dean flushes crimson. “It’s been one long ass week, don’t judge me.”

Ellen joins in. “Thank god you’re awake.”

“Hey, Ellen.”

I swallow. Talking over the phone makes me nervous but I like Ellen and Jo. “Hi.”

Jo is the first to answer, all to enthusiastically. “ _Cas!_ Hi!”

I roll my eyes. Ellen is much more calm. “Hey, honey, how you feeling?”

I shrug. “Wiped out. But hey, Dean’s wearing one of Gabe’s old AC DC shirts and it’s kinda funny.”

Ellen laughs. “How many of those do you have?”

I try to count. “Somewhere around fifteen. I don’t get around to wearing them all.”

Dean’s eyebrows disappear into his hair. I grin in response but don’t say anything.

Jo breathes, “ _Fifteen_ AC DC shirts? Damn, Cas.”

I shrug. “All of them came from Gabe. As did my love of AC DC, but still.”

Dean shakes his head. “Where’d he get the money for them?”

“He bought them over many years, not all at once. He’d outgrow one, give it to me, and buy a new one.”

I pull out one from when I was four. The shirt is tiny now. “This one was when I was four. It’s been going on a damn long time. He’s twenty-six now.”

Dean shakes his head. “Damn.”

Jo laughs. “That’s crazy.”

I drop the shirt back in the drawer and slide it shut. I’ve kept all of them over the years, since it first started—when I was three. And since I’m around fifteen or sixteen, that’s a long time. “It’s tradition. Hand-me-downs.”

Dean shakes his head. “When did that start?”

“When I was three.”

There’s a surprised silence. Dean bursts out laughing. “So that’s been happening for, what...twelve, thirteen _years_ now?”

I shrug to show him I’m not sure. “Yep.”

He shakes his head. “Damn. _Seriously_. Son of a bitch.”

Ellen chuckles. “Language, Dean.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Dean counters lightly.

I notice he leaves off the usual ‘ _you’re not my mom_ ’. Not only would it remind him of her, but Ellen really has become his mom now. Weird as the idea is.

Ellen laughs. “Yes I can. I can’t control your language, though. It’s ingrained in you.”

I grin. “Is that a bad thing? It’s kinda funny.”

Jo giggles. “It’s _cute_. You’re such an old lady.”

My eyes flick to Dean and he doesn’t seem affected by that, merely amused. “She’s not that old.”

“She acts like it,” Jo fires back.

Dean laughs. “Only occasionally.”

Ellen sighs. “You kids. Pains in my ass. Alright, well, try not to strain anything. And Dean, for god’s sake, _ask for help when you need it._ I know you don’t like to, but you should. Promise?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Promise.”

Ellen breathes into the phone, chuckling. “It’s not a bad thing. Love you.”

“Love you too, Ellen.”

She hangs up and Dean shakes his head. “Promises. Ugh.”

I grin. “You have a doctor in the house, literally. It’s not that difficult to ask for painkillers or something.”

Dean’s eyes flick towards me. “It’s not that.”

I tilt my head. Dean sighs. “Okay, I’m still...jumpy. You know, after Dad. I don’t really...like, no offense, but I don’t trust him. He’s been super nice and everything, but Dad was just the same before he broke.”

I move forward to put a hand on his shoulder. “Dean. Trust me, he’s not gonna snap. You saw him last night.”

Dean shrugs. “Like Ellen put it. It’s ingrained. I can’t just shake it off, I don’t know.”

I shrug. “Never said you had to be alone. Hell, my foot’s overheating and it’s fucking annoying.”

Dean chuckles. “You sound silly cussing. You’re like...I don’t know, the _proper_ kind of person. The kind who doesn’t cuss. You sound awkward doing it.”

I shrug casually. “Anna doesn’t like it, nor does Mom. But everyone else does. I don’t know.”

Dean shakes his head, slipping an arm around me. We move out of the room, pausing at the top of the stairs.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Why do you have to have so goddamn many stairs?”

I chuckle. “I don’t know. The house was built before elevators existed.”

Dean scoops me up, carrying me down the stairs before setting me down just outside the kitchen. “That sucks.”

I grin. “Yep.”

The cook pops out. “Master Novak said you might be down soon.”

I chuckle. “Did he now? You have alfredo?”

She nods. “Already got a pot going. It’ll be done in about five minutes, just needs to cool.”

She disappears back into the kitchen and I grin, shaking my head. “Of course he did.”

Dean frowns. “What?”

I grin. “That would mean an hour or so ago, Dad told her to make alfredo. Cause he knows I like it.”

Dean shakes his head, a small smile on his face. “You have an awesome dad.”

“I know, right?”

I shake my head, and we make our way into the dining room. Dad is sitting in his usual spot, reading the newspaper avidly and completely ignoring us.

I roll my eyes, flopping down in my seat. Dean drops into his seat next to me, yawning.

I barely manage not to laugh. Dean sounds funny yawning. “Hey, Dad.”

Dad looks up, folding the paper and setting it down. “Hey, sleepyhead. Your mother said you both crashed big time last night, found Dean hanging off the bed and you flopped on your face. Sleeping like a rock, she couldn’t wake you up. She decided to just go to work and wait for you to wake on your own.”

Dean and I exchange a grin. I shake my head. “Totally wiped out.”

Dean yawns again, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t usually sleep longer than five hours. Not sure if I’m tired because I’m tired or just overslept. I’m rarely tired enough to crash like that.”

Dad chuckles. “I did get that impression from your brother, yeah. He was the one who found you, called Naomi up because you weren’t responding. She said you were just exhausted. He was pretty concerned.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Got that impression from the text she sent me around ten thirty.”

Dad chuckles. “Of course she did. That’s when she got to the hospital.”

I shake my head. “Where’s Gabe? Sam?”

Dad shrugs. “Gabe and Anna went to the store. Sam said he wanted to ride in the Mustang so they took him with.”

I shake my head, grinning. “Sounds like Sam.”

Dean grins. “Yeah.”

Dad shrugs. “They should be back any minute now. Doesn’t take that long.”

“Sammy probably told Gabe he wanted to see how fast the Mustang could go,” Dean muses. “Something I can see him doing, for sure. And Gabe’s more than likely to take him up on it, knowing him.”

I chuckle. “Probably, yeah.”

The Mustang’s engine purrs as she slides smoothly into the driveway. “And there they are.”

“Just in time for lunch,” Dad agrees, chuckling.

Dean’s gaze moves towards the door. Three car doors shut, and their chatter and laughter echoes into the house.

I grin, rolling my eyes. Dean chuckles.

The cook brings out a huge pot of alfredo, setting it down on the table mat. No doubt Dad expected them to be home in time for lunch and us to be down.

Gabriel drifts in, an elated grin on his face. His eyes fall on the alfredo and his eyes light up. “Ohhhh.”

Sam goes from laughing to wide-eyed and grinning. “Oh my god. Food.”

Anna follows them in, tossing an empty frozen meal in the trash and pausing as they fall on the pot of alfredo.

The alfredo is like a tradition for us—my great-grandma’s recipe, it’s always around during Christmas season. And it always brings the family together, near or far. Just like it is now, minus Michael.

Dad fires off a quick text before pocketing his phone. “Just in time for lunch.”

Gabriel laughs. “I see that.”

Dean grins, whispering, “I think we’re hidden behind the pot. It’s huge.”

I grin back, responding with the same volume, “It’s family tradition. Great-grandma’s recipe. It’s what brings the family together, near or far, and it’s the spirit of Christmas in a meal. That’s what she always said.”

Dean’s grin widens and he lounges back. “I hear there was a Mustang?”

Sam pops around, his eyes falling on Dean. “Yep. You guys finally wake up?”

I chuckle softly. “Just, like, a couple minutes ago. But yes.”

Gabriel slips around, pulling me into a hug. “You were so wiped out Mom and Sam both couldn’t wake you up.”

“So I hear,” I agree. “I didn’t even hear anything. Dreamless, deep as fuck sleep.”

Sam chuckles. “Definitely. Welcome back to the land of the living.”

Mom pops in, pulling us both in for a hug before falling into her seat.

Everyone pauses. There’s an awkward movement. Anna usually sits where Dean is, and Gabriel on my other side. But now that Sam and Dean are here, we’re rearranging a bit.

Anna moves around to sit next to Mom, leaving the seat on my other side to Gabe. Sam flops down next to her, directly across from Dean. There’s a silence before Dad shakes his head. “Our family got bigger again.”

There’s a round of chuckles before we dig in.

Anna eats a full helping before chatting with Mom. Mom gets two helpings. Dad gets two. Great-grandma always insisted on getting at least two. Gabriel helps himself to three servings, grinning the whole time. Sam gets three platefuls. Dean tentatively gets one, but the moment he takes a bite his eyes light up. He ends up getting four servings. And I get five, not only because I’m hungry but also because it’s good, great-grandma Audrey always loved to see me eat four or more, and because I want to see if I can eat more than Dean. And I succeed, too.

Dad chuckles. “You hungry?”

I grin. “Just a _little_.”

Gabriel chuckles. “That’s my bro.”


	19. My Hero (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas talks to Gabriel about what Anna said (and Dean). Cute fluff, Gabriel letting Cas drive his special Mustang (his Impala! XD).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV. Listening to "Locked Away" (by Rock City ft. Adam Levine) from here on out.

I push the seat back with my good foot, rising carefully to my feet. I keep most of my weight off my broken foot, barely touching the ground. I move around determinedly, pushing the chair in. There’s a stunned silence before Gabriel grins. “Tough little shit.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So?”

Gabriel rises to his feet, shaking his head. “You’re crazy.”

I catch his hand in mine, grinning. “Maybe I am. Come on.”

He shakes his head, letting me lead but still tense and ready to catch me if I need it.

I limp my way out to the Mustang, shooting him a grin. “It’s been too long.”

His eyes twinkle with understanding. “Oh my god, you _are_ crazy.”

I grin, limping over the the door and dropping into the passenger seat. He lets go of my hand to get in the drivers’ side, still shaking his head. “Your fucking foot is _broken_ and you’re fussing over the car.”

I grin and he rolls down the roof, turning the keys. The engine rumbles to life and he pulls out, heading for our road. No one’s ever on it and it’s still concrete. The instant we hit it, he presses on the gas. The look of amused confusion is replaced by that elated grin I love.

I close my eyes, feeling the wind whip my hair around me. It’s been too long, almost two years now...I just didn’t want to ask. But now I have an excuse to ask.

He puts the roof up just where he usually does, skidding down towards the abandoned barn. He twists the wheel in one huge donut, slowly pressing on the brakes. We stop facing the barn perfectly.

I grin helplessly, shaking my head to get my hair out of my face. “We’re here so often. Maybe we should just buy the place. It’s still for sale after, like, ten years. They might be desperate enough to sell it to us.”

Gabriel laughs. “Probably.”

He closes his eyes, sighing and slowly turning serious again. “What do you wanna talk about?”

I grin. “You know me so well.”

He shrugs. “Not hard to read you. You wanted to get away from everyone else.”

I shake my head. “Dean can’t read me.”

Gabriel chuckles. “That’s ‘cause he’s blind.”

I grin, reaching out to take his hand in mine again. “Not really. He’s too busy working through his own shit to worry about reading me.”

He laces our fingers together, his gaze turning to me. “Wha’d’you mean?”

I shrug. “He said he’s still scared. His dad, you know. He’s having a hard time relearning. Said it’s hard to trust Dad, even though he’s nice. Cause that’s what his dad was like before all this.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “He actually hit me. That was surprising.”

He pushes his sleeve up to uncover a light bruise. “He grazed me. Dean got the worst of it, of course, but still. I can understand why he wants to take him down. He hits damn hard.”

I shiver. “So does Michael.”

His hand tightens on mine. “Hey...”

I shake my head. “Like I said last night. It’s not you, it’s him.”

I close my eyes. “So, Dean and I were talking. About Sam.”

Gabriel blinks. “Why?”

I shrug, shaking my head. “It came up. He said I admire you more than I let on, then said ‘ _more than Sam_ ’. I told him he’s wrong. Sam admires him a lot.”

“Of course he does,” Gabriel agrees. “You’d have to be blind not to see it.”

I smile faintly. “I know. But he’s blind to it. Because he doesn’t see his own worth. Which is sad. Apparently, like he said last night, I’m good at speeches and shit. So I said ‘ _You’re his hero. That’s why he was so upset you didn’t let him help you. I’d be upset if Gabe did that. But it’s more concern than it is true anger, it’s more an ‘oh my god you’re hurt, why didn’t you let me help’ than an ‘oh my god you fucking idiot’._ ’ And he seemed kind of awed by that. I don’t know. Sam obviously admires him. But he’s blind to it.”

Gabriel’s silent for a second. “What do you mean, you’d be upset if I did what he did?”

I glance towards him. “Dean kept it to himself even though he was getting hurt. Repeatedly. Sam admired him, he was just his hero through and through. And Dean never told him. So of course Sam was upset. I get it. I wouldn’t be so upset with Michael if I understood what he was going through. You’re _my_ Dean. Michael doesn’t come close. And Anna...well, that’s complicated as hell right now.”

He’s silent again, a thoughtful expression on his face. “You mean I’m...like, your hero?”

A soft smile lifts my mouth. “More than.”

That smile I love breaks through his thoughtful look, a light blush touching his cheeks. “Seriously?”

I grin, teasing lightly, “Don’t tell me you can’t see that. You’re the one who sees through everything. That smile, your sense of humor, you’re just perfect. Everything I could be. Everything I can aspire to be. So yes, really.”

The blush deepens and he shakes his head, his hand tight on mine. “I had no idea.”

“Seeing how blind Dean was made me wonder,” I agree quietly.

Gabriel bites his lip. “Everyone has flaws, Cas.”

I shrug. “So? So do I. I’m not perfect. Hell, people hate me just for being homo. Doesn’t mean I can’t look up to you. There’s always gonna be that one person who hates me. Who hates you. Who hates Sam or Dean, Jo or Ellen. Doesn’t mean anything. You’ve always been the person I turn to when I need someone, and you’ve always risen to the challenge. Everything from bullies in school to something as big as this, I knew I could come to you. You put a smile on my face the instant you picked up that damn phone. It was really early, I didn’t even think you’d pick up. But you did. And you answered with concern, not cussing like Anna. You asked what was wrong, not what the hell I wanted so early. You _knew_ something was wrong. And that’s definitely something I admire you for. You were tired, you were so tired. But you still came. You came _immediately_ , as soon as I called. And that means more than Anna coming, after what she’s done, too.”

Gabriel frowns. “What did she do?”

I slowly release a breath, taking in another before answering. “A lot?”

His frown deepens. “What. Did. She. Do? What did I miss?”

I shake my head. “When I called—just before I called you—she was cussing. She said ‘ _what the hell do you want?_ ’ She said she was busy until I said my foot was broken because of Michael. She was rude to Dean. She was flat-out _hostile_. The time before that was worse.”

Gabriel’s silent for several minutes before he prompts, “The time before?”

I close my eyes, swallowing and tightening my grip on his hand. “Hard to talk about it.”

His voice lowers and concern seeps in. “Hey, what happened?”

I close my eyes, a single tear slipping past my eyelid. Gabriel catches it, releasing my hand to instead pull me in for a hug. “Hey, shhh. Tell me what happened, please.”

My wavering resolve crumbles and I unbuckle, getting out of the car and nodding for him to follow. He gets out, following me up into the house. Abandoned furniture is everywhere and the sign in the front still has a full bucket of flyers, ten years old.

I collapse into the old couch, waiting until he sits next to me and wrapping my arms around him, closing my eyes. I wait for the tears to stop pricking my eyes before I open them, snuggling close like we used to all the time.

He waits patiently, wrapping his arms around me in turn and holding me close. The quiet companionship works wonders, but it still takes a while before I can even open my mouth. “She yelled at me?”

He barely dares to breathe, blinking. “She _what_?”

I shrug. “She...well, it was more than yelling. She told me she was too busy to deal with me and that she had a life there, in L.A. That she wasn’t gonna come home. Said to tell Michael thanks for pushing her away like he did.”

He frowns. “You’re not saying something.”

My head falls against him. _Damn it._ “Because it hurts too much. She should know better.”

Gabriel’s frown deepens and his grip tightens. “What did she say?”

I shiver, ducking my head as I let the tears fall. I tried to act like I didn’t care when I mentioned it to Dean, but it hurts. A hell of a lot. “In her exact words...”

I take a deep, shaky breath. “She said ‘ _I don’t have time to deal with a faggot like you, I’m too busy. I’m not gonna come home. Tell Michael thanks for pushing me into this life, because it pays well and I like where I am. I’m not defined by Mom and Dad’s money, how rich they are, just by how far I’ve come. And I’m not gonna ruin that by coming home so don’t even ask._ ’”

My voice breaks and I can’t breathe. I curl into Gabriel, silent sobs shaking my entire body. My hands are vibrating, my lip trembling, my throat is so closed off with the tears that I can’t breathe. And yet I know he won’t judge me, he won’t care. He’ll be more concerned than like Michael was. _He isn’t Michael. He isn’t Anna. He’s Gabriel, my big brother. Gabe, the friend I’ll always have._ That knowledge is enough to let me be weak, to break down and let it go.

He’s silent with shock, his arms tight around me and his breathing shaky. He finally manages to say something, just a stunned whisper. “She did _what_?”

I can’t even air under me to respond, just enough to not pass out. Gabriel shakes his head, dazed. “She should know better. I raised her better than that. But it does explain why you didn’t hug her back. Oh my god. Jesus.”

The pain slowly dies down and I tighten my grip on him, finally managing to say something. “You’re the only one who hasn’t done something wrong. I trust Dean more than I trust Anna, I trust Sam and Jo and Ellen more. You’re the only one I trust more than Dean. I may have only met him a few days ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. He defended me against Anna, even though he knew she’d turn her anger on him. He defended me against Michael, he pulled Raphael off of me. I don’t know. Feels like I’ve known him forever. Almost as long as you.”

He shakes his head. “That’s just...I don’t know. Anna should know better. So should Michael, but seriously. I raised them. They should know better.”

I smile faintly. “Anna was closer to Michael than you. She followed in his footsteps, just less severely.”

Gabriel kisses the top of my head, releasing a slow breath. “That’s crazy.”

I shrug. “That’s my life. Like I said, everyone has flaws. But you, at least, didn’t react like Anna or Michael.”

Gabriel sighs. “What about Mom and Dad?”

“Blinded.” I shrug casually. “I tried once to tell mom that Michael had hit me, the first time. She wasn’t listening. I tried to tell Dad and he said he’d had a long day at work and to tell him later. I tried to tell Anna. You know what happened. None of them took time out of their day, God forbid, to talk to me. That’s why I keep coming back to you. You’ve never turned me away. You always listen. You actually _care_. That’s why I say you’re more than just my hero. If you’d turned me away....”

I shake my head. “Chances are, I’d’ve probably jumped. You know what I mean.”

He sucks in a quick breath. “Don’t you dare. _Ever._ Don’t even consider it.”

I shrug. “Since you’ve always been there, it’s never been a problem. But I did think about it, just for a minute. That’s why I called you. You were my last hope, and you pulled through.”

He trembles, just a little. “I wondered why you sounded so tired.”

“Tired of being turned away,” I confirm, my head falling against him. “You’re the person I look up to. I can’t always count on you, even in moments like that. You always pull through, you’ve always been there. Even when no one else was. You. Saved. Me.”

His head falls on top of mine. “I’ll always be here. Always.”

“I know,” I agree softly. “You always have been.”

“They probably didn’t know,” Gabriel tries to reason. “Mom and Dad.”

I shrug. “Didn’t matter. What mattered was they turned me away. Mom turned me to Dad. Dad said to talk to Anna. Anna flat-out turned me away, didn’t give me anything back. What _did_ matter was that you answered. You listened. I didn’t have the willpower to say it was Michael who slapped me, but I could still talk to you. And you made it better, left me with a smile on my face. Then last time? It was one in the fucking morning and you still answered. You asked if I was okay. That meant far more than Anna answering, she was the same. She said she’d come the next day and be down for a few days but that was all she could manage. You got on the first plane over and were there in just hours. That meant the world.”

Gabriel swallows. “I couldn’t turn you away. You never call that early.”

“I know, but Anna did. She cussed me out, first, but she did. If Dean hadn’t’ve stepped in, I doubt she would’ve come at all.” I swallow hard. “She might even have blocked my number.”

Gabriel glances at his phone. It’s already three thirty—that whole thing took an hour and a half. Wow. “She better not have.”

Some semblance of relief washes through me. A weight lifts off my shoulders. Now he knows everything, start to finish. And that means a hell of a lot. He still cares, he’s still there for me like he always has been.

The tension washes away and I curl against him. “You know I still have the AC DC stuff?”

He glances towards me. “What?”

I grin. “From all the way back to the first one. I kept all of them. I’m wearing one, too.”

His gaze flicks to the shirt. “That’s the one you borrowed.”

“Yeah. I knew you’d recognize it, too. And it _still_ smells kinda like you.” I grin. “I have you with me, wherever I go. School, work, home, no matter where I am.”

He blushes and smiles back. “You’re so sweet.”

I ruffle his hair. “I missed you.”

Gabriel smiles again, the same smile I love. “I missed you, too.”

There’s a silence before I rub my eyes, drying the tears, and take a deep breath, releasing it slowly. All of my tension and pain goes with it. “Missed you more.”

For once he doesn’t argue. “Can’t really argue with that. With what Anna and Michael have done in that time.”

I glance up at him, surprised. “I love you.”

A smile spreads across his face. “I love you, too.”

I search his eyes, finding the same love and joy usually in them. But there’s a slight pull, a spark that should be there but isn’t. “I can read you well enough to notice when something’s wrong.”

A half-smile tugs on his lips. “I just didn’t realize how close I came to losing you.”

I hug him tightly. “Don’t worry about it. ’Kay?”

He shrugs, brushing a finger over my cheek. “Hard to, but I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “You’re such an angel.”

I grin easily. “No, I’m not. I’m a little devil. I’m a little you.”

The spark returns and he grins. “Who says I’m a devil?”

I laugh. “I do. Ready to go for another spin?”

He grins, rising to his feet. “If you are.”

We make our way out to the car and he tosses me the keys. “You’re sixteen now. You drive.”

_So I’m sixteen._ I catch the keys, giving him an amazed look. “Really?”

He laughs and drops in the passenger seat. “Yep.”

I shake my head, getting in. Luckily it’s my right foot that’s hurt—I can still drive with my left.

I close the door, putting the keys in and turning. The car rumbles to life, rumbling under us. I grin, putting her in reverse and flipping around. I put her back in drive, shooting out onto the road.

I slowly ease onto the gas, following Gabriel’s example. The car speeds up, every turn at my command. The immense power behind it just blows me away.

I lower the roof, grinning as my hair whips around in the wind. _This is amazing._

I turn and slow down to just over the speed limit, skidding into the driveway.

I slow down easily, the long driveway useful. I don’t have to slam on the brakes. I ease to a stop, shaking my hair out of my face. I can’t get the smile off my face, and my hands are shaking, but it’s the best feeling in the world.

I spin up to my feet, putting the roof back in place and closing the door. _Damn._

We walk inside and Gabriel’s smile is back in place, the spark returned to his eyes. Dean, Sam, Mom, and Dad all look up as I toss Gabe his keys back, and he puts them in his pocket. Anna is nowhere to be seen, thank god. I have a feeling Gabriel would take her aside to ‘have a chat’ about what I told him.

Dean’s eyes widen. “Did you let Cas drive?”

My grin is answer enough and he whistles. “Damn.”

My grin widens. “Hi.”

Mom shakes her head. “You’re crazy. You better not crash.”

Dad chuckles. “I was just about to say that.”

They exchange a loving glance, much to Sam’s apparent disgust.

Sam chuckles and vanishes up the stairs.

Dean shakes his head. “You drove the Mustang?”

I feel the wide grin stuck on my face, elated, and my hair is still messy. “Yep.”

Gabriel gives me a quick hug before vanishing upstairs.

Dean grins, wandering over. “Seriously? You _drove_ that car?”

I shrug. “Gabe told me to drive us back. I’ve been going for ten years on the same route now.”

I lower my voice. “And he said I’m sixteen.”

Dean nods slowly. “’Kay.”

I nod towards the stairs. “Coming?”

He grins. “You serious?”

I shrug, mounting a step. “If I go fast enough I can manage it.”

Dean laughs and follows me up, keeping pace with me. I make it to the top with a triumphant grin, stopping to catch my breath. It was hard but I made it.

Dean laughs breathlessly. “You’re crazy.”

“Seems like people are saying that a lot today.” I take a deep breath, shaking off. “Just being independent.”

“You’re such a show off,” Dean chuckles.

I wander towards my room. “You talk to Mom and Dad?”

He drops his gaze, drifting after me. “A bit. About Mom, what started it all. A bit about Dad.”

I slip into my room, waiting until he darts inside to shut the door and flop down on the bed. The lights come on automatically, positioned perfectly to look like a moon and starts in the night sky.

His eyes flick up and he drops next to me, running a hand over his hair. “Gabriel looked a bit haunted.”

I glance towards him. “You noticed that?”

He nods and I wince. “He’s usually better at hiding it.”

Dean glances at me curiously. “What’s up?”

I sigh. “We talked about Anna.”

Dean’s eyes widen a little. “Huh?”

I nod in her direction. “What she said. The last time. You know, yelling at me and everything.”

Dean frowns. Slowly, he murmurs, “You’ve been crying.”

My gaze flicks his way and I fidget. “What makes you say that?”

Dean bites his lip. “Well, there’s red rims around your eyes. And you look kinda haunted, too. Under the elated glow. I know that look. With Dad and all.”

I bite my tongue, grimacing. “I didn’t...”

I drop my gaze. “I told him what Anna said. Like, exactly what she said. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him so stunned. He was silent for a full five minutes.”

Dean frowns. “What’s so bad? What’d she say?”

I glance towards him, my last reserves of resistance shattering under the look of concern he’s giving me. “She...”

I close my eyes, swallowing. “She said ‘ _I don’t have time to deal with a faggot like you, I’m too busy. I’m not gonna come home. Tell Michael thanks for pushing me into this life, because it pays well and I like where I am. I’m not defined by Mom and Dad’s money, how rich they are, just by how far I’ve come. And I’m not gonna ruin that by coming home so don’t even ask._ ’.”

Dean looks taken aback, his eyes widening. “She said _what?_ ”

“That’s what Gabe said, once he started talking again,” I murmur quietly.

Dean shakes his head. “That’s just...damn.”

I shrug weakly. “Still hurts. Whether or not she’s here. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.”

“Yeah, I would in your place.” Dean shakes his head, amazed. “Your siblings are shitty.”

“Except Gabriel,” I counter lightly. “He’s always been there for me.”

“Except Gabe,” Dean agrees. “First Michael slaps you. Then Anna’s a little shit. Then Michael and Raphael break your foot. Then Anna’s a little shit again but comes reluctantly.”

I glance towards him. “Exactly.”

He blinks. “What?”

I clear my throat. “I tried to tell Mom and she told me to talk to Dad. I tried to talk to him and he said to call Anna. You know what she said. So I called Gabe.”

Dean frowns. “About what?”

“Him slapping me. Hitting me the first time. Gabe listened and asked if I wanted him to drop by to ‘teach that little shit a lesson’ and I said no. He’d already made it better. But Michael didn’t get better.”


	20. His Side Of The Story (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go talk to Michael. Dean constantly asks if Cas is sure. There's a big piece to the story missing: Michael's side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV. Still. Planning on throwing some Michael in.
> 
> "Locked Away" by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Enjoy. (If that's even possible. This chapter is very, very deep.)
> 
> If you have severe depression or something, maybe avoid? Michael and Cas both talk about being suicidal.

Dean shakes his head. “That’s bullshit. You okay?”

I shrug. “Not sure. I kinda wanna talk to Michael but I’m not strong enough to do it alone.”

Dean takes my hand in his. “I would never let you talk to that asshole alone. Like, no offense, but no. And I’m sure Gabriel would come. You don’t have to do it alone.”

A small smile breaks across my face. “He’d be terrified of Gabe. No doubt he already went to talk to him because he was pissed. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

My hand closes on his. “I wouldn’t mind having you there, though. You are the reason he’s there.”

Dean smiles faintly. “Yep. Sure he’s not gonna be forgetting that anytime soon.”

_Feels like I’ve known you forever._ “Definitely not. You wanna drive?”

Dean shrugs. “Why the hell not?”

We wander downstairs and Dean pulls out the keys to the Impala, sliding into the drivers’ seat. I drop next to him, shutting the door and relaxing into the car.

He drives the speed limit for once, pulling in to the police station and parking neatly. I can’t help but chuckle. “You’re driving normal?”

He shrugs. “Police station. Probably safer. You sure?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. Come on.”

I get up slowly, closing the door softly. _Breathe. Dean won’t let him hurt you again._

Dean follows me out, slipping an arm around my shoulders in both emotional and physical support. I shoot him a grateful smile, waiting for him to shut the door before taking my weight off my broken foot, using Dean’s support to make my slow way over. _He wouldn’t let him hurt you. Gabriel would die before he’d let that happen, so would Dean. Come on, breathe._

I pause at the door. “I am gonna exaggerate it just a bit, okay?”

Dean nods, pulling the door open and slipping inside.

I let myself fall into him, the pain slipping through my mask of calm. The receptionist looks up and her eyes widen. “Are you alright, honey?”

I flick my eyes to Dean, letting my voice weaken. “Thanks to him, I will be.”

Dean takes over the air of power and a slight, barely noticeable air of anger. “May we speak with Michael Novak?”

Her eyes widen. “Did _he_ do this?”

I nod weakly. “He’s my brother, I don’t understand.”

Dean faces her squarely. “This is his little brother, Castiel Novak.”

She falls under his spell, nodding. “Give me a moment.”

She disappears into the back room and pops back out with the campus officer. He takes me in swiftly before nodding and waving towards us. “Follow me.”

Dean tightens his grip, following him around and into an interrogation room. “Stay here. I’ll bring him in. Do you want to see any of the others?”

Dean looks to me and I shake my head. The officer nods. “Alright, wait here.”

I sigh, falling into Dean and closing my eyes. “That was easier than I expected.”

“Same,” Dean agrees. “Maybe they’ll interrogate us, eh?”

I grin weakly, keeping in mind that we’re on camera. “Nah. Campus cop should recognize us. He saw you before, when you brought them out and away from me. He didn’t see me, but he knows who you are.”

Dean stiffens and I crack an eye open. The cop drags a struggling Michael into the room, chaining him to the bar in the middle of the table and chaining his feet to the bar on the bottom. “You’ve got half an hour, boys.”

He slips out and Michael’s gaze raises to Dean, his eyes widening. “Get the hell away from me.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “I’m too busy taking care of the brother _you_ hurt to care about punching you right now.”

He nods to me and Michael’s gaze shifts. I edge back a little, my heart racing. _Breathe._

Michael raises an eyebrow, taking in all the bruises with a seeming air of satisfaction. But when his eyes fall on the cast the mask falls and he looks genuinely surprised, conflict racing over his face. He doesn’t say anything for a minute and when he does it’s one word: a question. “Who?”

Dean’s eyes narrow and I shake my head at him. My voice trembles a little but I manage to answer. “Raphael.”

He blinks quickly, dropping his gaze to his hands. I tilt my head just a little as a tear slips down his face. It’s just a little, but it’s certainly something. “He didn’t hit you that hard.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, he did. I didn’t scream for nothing, Mike.”

Dean pulls out the chairs, lowering me into the chair opposite Michael and sitting next to me. “You have half an hour to explain. We’re only here because Cas wants to know. Otherwise I wouldn’t come anywhere near you.”

I drop my gaze, peeking up at him at an angle. “Why d’you do it?”

Dean crosses his arms, dropping his gaze and taking my hand in his. I lace our fingers together, shooting him a grateful smile.

I shift my gaze back to Michael. Conflict is running over his face, he’s fighting something. And losing. His gaze falls and his voice softens. “Are you okay?”

I swallow. “Honestly? No. You know what Anna did?”

He shakes his head. Dean glances at me in surprise. I might be making pleasant conversation, but only because it might make him talk.

I return his look with one of my own. _Just follow my lead._

I lick my lips, averting my gaze. “I called her. Mom and Dad weren’t talking. You know what she said? ‘ _I don’t have time to deal with a faggot like you, I’m too busy. I’m not gonna come home. Tell Michael thanks for pushing me into this life, because it pays well and I like where I am. I’m not defined by Mom and Dad’s money, how rich they are, just by how far I’ve come. And I’m not gonna ruin that by coming home so don’t even ask._ ’ And guess what? I wasn’t mean enough to say that to you. I still had hope. I hoped my brother was still in there somewhere. I hoped you’d get better, that you’d tell me what was wrong.”

I glance up to see if that has an affect on him. He winces, fidgeting uneasily.

Dean shifts his gaze to the wall over Michael’s head, openly hostile. Dean swallows, finishing, “But you didn’t.”

I nod towards Dean. “You got worse.”

I drop my eyes so I won’t have to see Dean’s reaction. “The first time you hit me? I tried to tell Mom. She turned me away. I tried to talk to Dad. He turned me away. I tried to call Anna. She was no help, she actually made it worse. For a minute there, I seriously considered jumping. I had nowhere to turn, no one to talk to. I couldn’t talk to you. I couldn’t talk to anyone. But I called Gabe instead. I didn’t say who it was, but I did say someone had hit me the first time and I didn’t know where to turn, what to do. He asked if I wanted him to come down and, though he didn’t know who, to beat you up. I said no. I still had hope. The subject changed. I didn’t mention Anna because it was too painful. I didn’t bring up contemplating suicide because I knew what he’d say already. ‘ _Don’t do it._ ’ ‘ _I love you._ ’ I already knew. But I was weak, I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t face that truth.”

My eyes flick towards Dean. His expression has changed entirely—from hostility and vacant staring to horror. His gaze has moved from the wall to me. His hand tightens on mine.

My eyes flick up towards Michael. He looks just as horrified as Dean, his gaze having risen and tears in his eyes. His voice becomes a hoarse whisper. “You _what_?”

I glance towards Dean. “You heard me. I can’t say it again.”

Dean shakes his head, swallowing hard and averting his gaze so Michael won’t see the tears in his eyes.

Michael’s gaze falls to his hands. “I was slipping in and out of depression. I...I had nowhere to turn. Mom and Dad would call a therapist, I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to tell Anna, to see the expression of horror on her face. I didn’t want to tell Gabriel because he’d tell Mom and Dad. I knew you’d tell both Gabe and Anna and the word would get out. So I stayed silent. I cut contacts. Then I ran into Raphael, who was all tough and nothing seemed to touch him. I ran into Lucifer. Slowly, our little group grew. But I didn’t know why he was how he was. He was a manic depressive. And he didn’t deal with it, he just took it out on other people. The others just wanted in on his power. I just wanted someone I could talk to. And he understood. He did. He said I might be chronically depressed, which he said was totally normal and okay. He helped me off the ledge.”

I raise my gaze, surprised. _Manic depressive. Wow._ “But with a price.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “He said he’d tell everyone about it if I didn’t join in on his bullying pursuits. When that target became Sam, it was...difficult. He reminded me too much of you. Then the target _became_ you. Raph had some serious shit against you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You know what?”

Michael shrugs. “No. Just that he hated you with a burning passion. I tried to back out and he threatened again. I tried to get him to pick on someone else, even, but he wouldn’t be shifted. I don’t know. I had nowhere left to turn.”

I had noticed Michael had hesitated. I’d seen his eyes flick to Raphael, just once. But I didn’t see the fear. “You realize you’re worse now, right? Either you end up in a psych ward, or some serious, full-time therapy. And Raphael will end up in a closed ward, for sure.”

Michael shrugs. “There’s nothing I can do now. I know I went too far. And I’m sorry.”

Dean shifts his gaze, some of his anger fading.

I shake my head. “It’s too late to apologize. I’ll never trust you again, not the same way. But we can get through this together. Like I said—and it still holds true—we’re here for you. Through everything. You hear me?”

Michael nods mutely, tears still blurring his eyes. He clears his throat. “Yeah.”

His voice breaks and his gaze flicks to Dean. “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?”

I glance towards Dean, wincing. “Just a minute, no more.”

Dean rises, striding out without a word. His hands are shaking.

The door shuts and most of Michael’s tension eases. “Did you really think about jumping? Or was that just trying to get me to talk?”

I look up in surprise. “A bit of both. I didn’t want to talk about it, not exactly. Dean didn’t know. I did tell Gabe everything I knew, and I told everyone—Mom, Dad, Anna, Gabriel, and my friends Sam, Jo, Ellen, and Dean—most of it. I left out what Anna said. I left out thinking about jumping. But Gabe knows. He knows how close I came. And he saved my life, he did. But I did want to hear your side of the story. I don’t know everything.”

Michael swallows hard. “Are you okay? Like, really okay?”

I consider it. “Better. I can understand, to some degree. Gabe helped me through Anna and some of the worst of it. Still have mixed feelings about that. She came. But she came after arguing, cussing me out, after treating Dean like shit. And he saved my life. But she still came. I don’t know.”

Michael shakes his head. “She was a sweet girl. She was so sweet. I don’t know what changed.”

“ _You_ changed.” I lift my gaze to his. “You neglected her when she needed you most. And she broke. She snapped under a pressure she couldn’t handle. She didn’t want to lose you.”

I shrug. “I wouldn’t really have done any different if Gabe did that. If it was him neglecting me. Though I’m worse. I would’ve just jumped and screw the fucking consequences. I wouldn’t’ve run away to L.A. and snapped at her for trying to reach out to me like I did for her.”

I reach out to drop a hand over his. “You went too far, you did. But I know how it feels to have nowhere to turn, to be standing on that ledge. And I don’t want you to feel the same way. We’re here for you. Mom and Dad, Gabe and Anna. _I’m_ still here for you. You’re still my brother. I still love you, I still miss you. Even if you broke.”

He turns to clasp my hand in his, his gaze rising to mine. “Gabe tell you he came to see me?”

I shake my head. “I expected him to, but he didn’t mention it. Why?”

“He made it worse.” Michael shakes his head. “He yelled at me. He put me back on that ledge. But you pulled me back off. _Thank you for that._ If I was capable, I might’ve just hung myself but they keep me chained at all times.”

I shiver a little, squeezing his hand. “I won’t let you get back on that ledge. Okay? I’ll pass along what you told me, and we’ll figure something out. Gabe isn’t that blind. He might’ve been mad but he’s not gonna abandon you in a time of need no matter what you’ve done. I’ll make sure he comes back to apologize.”

Michael shakes his head. “That’s not your problem, it’s mine.”

I give him a quick frown. “That’s the very mentality I’ve been trying to get Dean to stop thinking in. If it affects others, it’s their problem too. And it does.”

Michael swallows. “You can try but he stormed out in a towering temper. I don’t know what to think.”

I rise slowly to my feet, allowing a grimace to pass over my face. “If it helps, Raph is gonna get put in a closed psych ward for this. He can’t hurt you, he’ll never be able to again. And he can’t hurt any of us.”

Michael nods slowly. “Okay. Thank you. I needed that.”

I nod, limping over to give him an awkward half-hug. “We’ll fix this. Together. Because that’s what family’s for. I’ll always be here for you. And as for Gabe and Anna, you could’ve asked. Words work wonders, you know.”

I ruffle his hair, limping out the door into Dean’s arms.

Dean catches me, slipping his arm back around my shoulders. “You alright?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “But we’ll fix this. And Raphael deserves a closed psych ward for this.”

“Agreed,” Dean murmurs, closing the door behind me. “What did he want?”

“To thank me for pulling him back off that ledge. Gabe put him back on. Unwittingly, but he did. And I can fix that. Come on. We have a pretty huge piece of the story missing. Who knew Michael was a manic depressive.”


	21. Back Off The Ledge (Michael's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's POV of the last chapter. Cas talks him off the metaphorical ledge he's on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael's POV! :D
> 
> Still possible trigger warning? Same as previous chapter but different POV.
> 
> Same song as previous chapter.

The guard drags me out, chaining me to the table before backing out. “You have half an hour.”

I can’t get the image out of my head that Raphael had put there; me, standing on a bridge over a freeway. Ready to jump. That’s the point I’m at and it hurts to know how true it is.

I look up to find the same guy who put me here. Dean. If I was physically capable, I would’ve backed away. As is, my voice trembles. “Get away from me.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “I’m too busy taking care of the brother _you_ hurt to care about punching you right now.”

He nods to his left and I follow the movement. _Cas._ Cas edges back a little, cringing into Dean.

I raise an eyebrow, taking in all the bruises with an air of satisfaction. But when my eyes fall on the cast on his foot, I lose it. Genuine surprise, conflict running through me. I can’t say anything for a minute and when I do get my mouth around the words it’s short and shaky. “Who?”

Dean’s eyes narrow and Cas shakes his head quickly at him. His voice trembles a little as he answers, “Raphael.”

I blink quickly, dropping my gaze to my hands. Cas shifts uneasily as a tear slips, unhindered, down my face. _Oh my god. Oh my god. Raph didn’t hit him that hard. Did he? He promised he wouldn’t._ “He didn’t hit you that hard.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Yeah, he did. I didn’t scream for nothing, Mike.”

Dean pulls out the chairs, lowering Cas into the chair opposite me and sitting next to him. “You have half an hour to explain. We’re only here because Cas wants to know. Otherwise I wouldn’t come anywhere near you.”

Cas drops his gaze, peeking up at me from an angle. The look is so like Anna it takes my breath away. “Why d’you do it?”

Dean crosses his arms, dropping his gaze and reaching out to Cas. Cas takes the offered hand, shooting him a grateful smile.

Cas shifts his gaze back to me. Conflict is racing through me, I’m fighting...but losing. _Don’t ask. He won’t answer._ My gaze falls and my voice softens and I ask in spite of myself, “Are you okay?”

Cas swallows hard, shrugging helplessly. “Honestly? No. You know what Anna did?”

I shake my head. Dean glances towards Cas in surprise. Cas return his look with one of his own. _Just follow my lead._

Cas licks his lips, averting his gaze. “I called her. Mom and Dad weren’t talking. You know what she said? ‘ _I don’t have time to deal with a faggot like you, I’m too busy. I’m not gonna come home. Tell Michael thanks for pushing me into this life, because it pays well and I like where I am. I’m not defined by Mom and Dad’s money, how rich they are, just by how far I’ve come. And I’m not gonna ruin that by coming home so don’t even ask._ ’ And guess what? I wasn’t mean enough to say that to you. I still had hope. I hoped my brother was still in there somewhere. I hoped you’d get better, that you’d tell me what was wrong.”

Cas looks up, just a little hope flickering in his eyes like a dying candle. I wince, fidgeting uneasily. _He still has hope. After all that I’ve done. After all that I’ve done he still hopes. He’s one tough kid. But Anna? She’s...she couldn’t’ve done that. She’s a sweet girl. It just wouldn’t happen._

Dean shifts his gaze to the wall over my head, openly hostile. Dean swallows, finishing, “But you didn’t.”

Cas nods towards Dean. “You got worse.”

Cas drops his gaze, glancing sideways towards Dean. “The first time you hit me? I tried to tell Mom. She turned me away. I tried to talk to Dad. He turned me away. I tried to call Anna. She was no help, she actually made it worse. For a minute there, I seriously considered jumping. I had nowhere to turn, no one to talk to. I couldn’t talk to you. I couldn’t talk to anyone. But I called Gabe instead. I didn’t say who it was, but I did say someone had hit me the first time and I didn’t know where to turn, what to do. He asked if I wanted him to come down and, though he didn’t know who, to beat you up. I said no. I still had hope. The subject changed. I didn’t mention Anna because it was too painful. I didn’t bring up contemplating suicide because I knew what he’d say already. ‘ _Don’t do it._ ’ ‘ _I love you._ ’ I already knew. But I was weak, I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t face that truth.”

Cas’ eyes flick towards Dean. His expression’s changed entirely—from hostile and vacant staring to horror. His gaze has moved from the wall to Cas. Just that look tells me how much he cares about him.

Cas’ eyes flick up towards me. Horror runs through me. _No. He can’t. He’s not suicidal._ My voice drops to a hoarse whisper. “ _You what?_ ”

Cas immediately glances towards Dean. “You heard me. I can’t say it again.”

Dean shakes his head, swallowing hard and averting his gaze so I won’t see the tears in his eyes.

I drop my gaze to my hands, resigned. _Breathe. Raph can’t hear you._ “I was slipping in and out of depression. I...I had nowhere to turn. Mom and Dad would call a therapist, I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to tell Anna, to see the expression of horror on her face. I didn’t want to tell Gabriel because he’d tell Mom and Dad. I knew you’d tell both Gabe and Anna and the word would get out. So I stayed silent. I cut contacts. Then I ran into Raphael, who was all tough and nothing seemed to touch him. I ran into Lucifer. Slowly, our little group grew. But I didn’t know why he was how he was. He was a manic depressive. And he didn’t deal with it, he just took it out on other people. The others just wanted in on his power. I just wanted someone I could talk to. And he understood. He did. He said I might be chronically depressed, which he said was totally normal and okay. He helped me off the ledge.”

Cas looks up, blinking and continuing, “But with a price.”

“Yeah,” I agree quietly. “He said he’d tell everyone about it if I didn’t join in on his bullying pursuits. When that target became Sam, it was...difficult. He reminded me too much of you. Then the target _became_ you. Raph had some serious shit against you.”

Cas raises a curious eyebrow. “You know what?”

I shrug, shaking my head. “No. Just that he hated you with a burning passion. I tried to back out and he threatened again. I tried to get him to pick on someone _else_ , even, but he wouldn’t be shifted. I don’t know. I had nowhere left to turn.”

Cas blinks, his eyes widening a little. “You realize you’re worse now, right? Either you end up in a psych ward, or some serious, full-time therapy. And Raphael will end up in a closed ward, for sure.”

I shrug helplessly. “There’s nothing I can do now. I know I went too far. And I’m sorry.”

Dean shifts his gaze, some of his anger fading and some of his hostility easing.

Cas shakes his head. “It’s too late to apologize. I’ll never trust you again, not the same way. But we can get through this together. Like I said—and it still holds true— _we’re here for you._ Through everything. You hear me?”

I nods wordlessly, tears still blurring my eyes. I clear my throat to mutter, “Yeah.”

My voice breaks and my gaze strays to Dean. “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?”

Cas glances towards Dean nervously, wincing. “Just a minute, no more.”

Dean rises and strides out without a complaint, his hands trembling.

The door shuts and most of my tension eases. Dean sets my hair on end. _He just hates me._ “Did you really think about jumping? Or was that just trying to get me to talk?”

Cas looks up, surprised. “A bit of both. I didn’t want to talk about it, not exactly. Dean didn’t know. I did tell Gabe everything I knew, and I told everyone—Mom, Dad, Anna, Gabriel, and my friends Sam, Jo, Ellen, and Dean—most of it. I left out what Anna said. I left out thinking about jumping. But Gabe knows. He knows how close I came. And he saved my life, he did. But I did want to hear your side of the story. I don’t know everything.”

I swallow hard, staring at my hands. “Are you okay? Like, really okay?”

Cas pauses thoughtfully. “Better. I can understand, to some degree. Gabe helped me through Anna and some of the worst of it. Still have mixed feelings about that. She came. But she came after arguing, cussing me out, after treating Dean like shit. And he saved my life. But she still came. I don’t know.”

I shake my head. _She wasn’t like that before._ “She was a sweet girl. She was so sweet. I don’t know what changed.”

“ _You_ changed.” Cas lifts his gaze to meet mine. “You neglected her when she needed you most. And she broke. She snapped under a pressure she couldn’t handle. She didn’t want to lose you.”

Cas shrugs, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t really have done any different if Gabe did that. If it was him neglecting me. Though I’m worse. I would’ve just jumped and screw the fucking consequences. I wouldn’t’ve run away to L.A. and snapped at her for trying to reach out to me like I did for her.”

Cas knowingly reaches out to drop a hand over mine. “You went too far, you did. But I _know_ how it feels to have nowhere to turn, to be standing on that ledge. And I don’t want you to feel the same way. We’re here for you. Mom and Dad, Gabe and Anna. _I’m_ still here for you. You’re still my brother. I still love you, I still miss you. Even if you broke.”

I flip my hand over to close my fingers on his hand, my gaze rising shyly to his. “Gabe tell you he came to see me?”

Cas shakes his head. _No._ “I expected him to, but he didn’t mention it. Why?”

“He made it worse.” I shake my head, his voice ringing in my ears. “He yelled at me. He put me back on that ledge. But you pulled me back off. _Thank you for that._ If I was capable, I might’ve just hung myself but they keep me chained at all times.”

Cas shivers a little, averting his gaze and squeezing my hand. “I won’t let you get back on that ledge. Okay? I’ll pass along what you told me, and we’ll figure something out. Gabe isn’t _that_ blind. He might’ve been mad but he’s not gonna abandon you in a time of need no matter what you’ve done. I’ll make sure he comes back to apologize.”

I shake my head. _It’s okay. Don’t worry about it._ “That’s not your problem, it’s mine.”

Cas shoots me a quick, disapproving frown. “That’s the very mentality I’ve been trying to get Dean to stop thinking in. If it affects others, it’s their problem too. And it _does_.”

I swallow, wincing. “You can try, but he stormed out in a towering temper. I don’t know what to think.”

Cas rises slowly to his feet, a pained grimace passing over his face. Anger at Raphael flares in me. _He did this to Cas. He did this._ “If it helps, Raph is gonna get put in a closed psych ward for this. He can’t hurt you, he’ll never be able to again. And he can’t hurt any of us.”

I nod slowly. _Good._ “Okay. Thank you. I needed that.”

He nods, limping over to give me an awkward half-hug. “We’ll fix this. Together. Because that’s what family’s for. I’ll always be here for you. And as for Gabe and Anna, you could’ve _asked_. Words work wonders, you know.”

Cas ruffles my hair, limping out the door into Dean’s arms.

The officer comes back in, lifting me off my feet and throwing me into the cell. I groan as one of the bruises—from Raphael’s response to me asking if he’d just leave Cas alone—hits the metal wall.

_I hope he’s really gonna do something about this._


	22. Who Would've Thought? (Cas' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Cas' POV. He tells Gabriel and then tells everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' POV, same song.
> 
> Cas does talk about being suicidal, but it's brief. Everyone's super supportive and all.
> 
> Next chapter is Dean's POV. The trial for John.

I limp into the house, mask back in place. Dean keeps shooting me suspicious, worried glances and I ignore them.

I limp my way up to Gabriel’s room, knocking softly on the door.

Gabriel groans tiredly. “Come in.”

_He talked to Anna,_ I register briefly.

I slip in, sinking down next to him. “I talked to Michael.”

He rolls over. “Wondered where you disappeared to.”

A frown tugs on his lips. “You look haunted.”

I shake my head. “I got him to talk. I had no idea.”

Gabriel sits up, pulling me up into his lap. “What d’he say?”

My head falls against him. “Raphael’s a manic depressive, turns out.”

Gabriel blinks. “He’s _what_?”

I shrug. “So’s Michael.”

There’s a silence. Gabriel whispers, “ _What?_ ”

I swallow. “I got him to talk by mentioning Anna. When I called you. He said he was slipping in and out of depression and that Raphael told him it was normal, it was okay. He confided in him, he got him off the suicidal ledge. But with a price—Raphael handles his condition by bullying people. And he threatened Michael that if he didn’t join in, he’d tell everyone about Michael being manic depressive. So he did. He said picking on Sam was hard because he was too much like me. That he’d tried to tell Raphael to leave me alone, but he wouldn’t be swayed. I saw him glance towards Raphael, but I didn’t know he was scared.”

Gabriel wraps his arms around me, shaking his head. “Why didn’t he tell anyone?”

I curl into him. “Because he knew you’d tell Mom and Dad and they’d get him a therapist—which he apparently didn’t want. He said he didn’t want to see Anna’s expression of horror. And he knew I’d tell both you and Anna.”

Gabriel is silent for several minutes, absorbing the information. “We have to tell Mom and Dad. And Anna, too. Probably the Winchester boys and their friends, too.”

“Dean was there,” I correct quietly. “I couldn’t go alone, I was still scared.”

Gabriel chuckles quietly. “Of course he was. Was Mikey scared of him?”

I smile faintly. “A bit, yeah. He was more scared of Raphael, though. And even though he tried to hide it, I saw the horror on his face when he saw my foot. Which is a start.”

Gabriel sighs. “Was it on camera? Him talking about Raphael being manic depressive?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. And Michael seemed relieved at the idea of him being in a closed psych ward.”

Gabriel nods. “Well that’s what we’re gonna do. Then Mike’s coming home, albeit with a price. He’s gonna have to get a fucking therapist.”

I shrug. “I already told him that. And he did apologize. He said he knew he went to far and he’s sorry. I doubt I’ll trust him for years, but it’s certainly a good place to start.”

Gabriel smiles faintly. “Definitely. You okay telling them while I go get him?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. Dean’s still here. I’ll be okay.”

Gabriel rises to his feet, carrying me down the stairs. I curl into him, a soft smile on my face. It’s been a while since he just carried me around like this.

Dean chuckles. “Hey, Gabe. Figured he’d go to you first.”

Gabriel offers Dean a small, grateful smile. “He told me you went with. Thanks.”

Dean nods, his eyes flicking to me. “He needed it. No prob.”

Gabriel stops at the bottom of the stairs, offering me to Dean. “I’m gonna go talk to Raphael. You guys can tell everyone else. ’Kay?”

Dean grins, lifting me out of Gabriel’s arms into his. “Yeah.”

I fall into Dean, closing my eyes. His grip is different, just a little. Gabriel’s is protective, brotherly, whereas Dean’s hold is protective and loving. Friendlier, less intimate.

Gabriel heads out the door and I wait until the car pulls away to open my eyes. “You shoulda heard him. He didn’t talk for several minutes. Like I said, he’s talkative. This silence he keeps falling into is abnormal.”

Dean shrugs. “Everyone’s in the dining room. Jo, Ellen, and Sam, too. You ready for this?”

I nod slowly, closing my eyes. “Yeah. Still getting my head around it, though.”

Dean slips into the dining room, setting me down and sitting in his seat. I drop into my chair, still a little dazed. Manic depressive. Who’d’ve thought?

Dad looks up. “Hey, you okay? Where’ve you been? We were looking for you.”

I look up, shaking my head. “Talking to Michael. I’m still getting my head ‘round what he said.”

Mom looks up, frowning. “What?”

I swallow. “It’s a lot of stuff. He said he didn’t say anything—you’ll understand once I tell you—because he didn’t want a therapist nor to see Anna’s look of horror.”

Anna looks up slowly, concern folding her face. “Horror at what?”

Jo, Ellen, and Sam all look up. I have everyone’s full attention now.

I reach out, taking Dean’s hand in mine. He laces our fingers together, squeezing lightly.

I take a deep breath. “Okay, just to start. Raphael’s a manic depressive.”

There’s a silence. Dad frowns. “Michael’s friend Raph?”

I nod slowly. “Not exactly a friend. I wouldn’t call him that. He’s a bully more than anything.”

Mom and Dad exchange a look, a quick frown. Anna frowns. “He bullied Mike?”

I shake my head. “Not exactly. He handled being manic depressive _by_ bullying kids. Like Sam, like me.”

Sam winces. “I remember him.”

I shrug. “I got him to talk by basically telling him I still had hope my brother was still in there. And he stared talking.”

I exchange a glance with Dean, making sure he wouldn’t bring up being suicidal. I didn’t need a therapist, I had Gabe. He was better than a therapist. Hell, even Dean and Sam were better than therapy.

Sam frowns. “So Raphael’s manic depressive. What’s that gotta do with Michael?”

I drop my gaze, sighing. “Because he threatened him.”

There’s a silence. I break it, explaining, “He said he’s been slipping in and out of depression. And Raphael told him it was normal, it was okay. So he confided in him. And he told Michael if he didn’t join in his bullying, then he’d tell everyone about it.”

I raise my gaze to Sam. “He said picking on Sam was hard because he was too much like me.”

Sam blinks, exchanging a glance with Dean. Dean nods.

I swallow. “He also said he tried to redirect Raphael’s attention when it landed on me but he threatened him again. And he was too scared to back out. He was already on that ledge again. He was suicidal.”

I raise my gaze to Anna. The horror on her face only confirms what Michael said about not wanting to see her look so upset. “So he cut ties. He tried to keep it to himself. But it didn’t work.”

I shake my head. “He actually looked scared, horrified, when he saw my foot—I did tell him that was Raphael. He said he didn’t hit that hard and I said he did. I’ve never seen that look on his face before.”

Dean squeezes my hand. “He also said Cas pulled him back off that ledge. Away from suicide. But he’s still chronically depressed. He didn’t _want_ a therapist but he doesn’t have much of a choice now.”

There’s a shocked silence. Anna is on the verge of tears. Ellen keeps looking at Jo, as if wondering if her daughter was in the same position.

Jo shakes her head. “I can’t even imagine what that’s like. Being so depressed you’re suicidal? You’d take your own life? Hell, everyone has rough patches. Everyone’s bullied. But that’s just...wow.”

I fidget uneasily, glancing towards Dean. _I can._

Dean catches the look, tightening his grip on my hand and shrugging. _It’s up to you._

I keep my gaze down. “I can.”

Sam’s head snaps up. “ _What?_ ”

My eyes flick towards him. “I’ve been there. Once or twice. Not now, but I can understand.”

There’s a shocked silence. Anna starts crying and runs out of the room.

Dad is the first to break the silence. “You’ve been depressed?”

I shake my head. “Suicidal.”

Mom’s mouth drops open. “You...were.... _when?_ ”

I squeeze Dean’s hand. “I never needed a therapist. Gabe was better than any therapist. I just called him.”

Dad swallows. “Answer your mother’s question. When?”

I fidget uneasily. “Remember when I said I needed to talk to you?”

Dad and Mom both nod, exchanging a surprised glance.

I keep my gaze down, unwilling to see the twin looks of horror on their faces. “You both turned me away. I tried to call Anna.”

I glance after her. “I know she was going through some rough shit. But she yelled at me. She called me a faggot and said she wasn’t coming home. Hung up on me.”

There’s another shocked silence and I shrug helplessly. “I had nowhere to turn. I couldn’t talk to Michael, hell no. But instead of climbing up high and jumping, I called Gabe. It was the middle of fucking class and he picked up. He asked what was wrong. That was the first time Michael had hit me. I didn’t say it was Michael, but he made me feel a hell of a lot better. If he’d turned me away, too, I don’t think I would’ve made it through that.”

My eyes stray to Mom and Dad. Both of them look horrified.

I shake my head. “He’s always been there for me. When no one else was. Every time I considered jumping, he answered and he pulled me back off that metaphorical ledge. Every time, he saved me. And we’re closer than ever. And every time, it happened because Michael had hit me. And I didn’t know who else to talk to. He never turned me away, whether it was one in the morning or in the middle of class. He always answered. He always offered to drop everything and come. And that support was better than any fucking therapist could offer.”

I flick my eyes over to Jo, Ellen, and Sam. They look horrified, too. They really have become part of my family.

Dean fidgets uneasily. “I probably would’ve done no different if it were Sam. Doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing. I’m there for him.”

“That’s the exact mentality Gabe had,” I agree softly.

There’s a tense silence, broken only by Anna’s sobs in the distance.

I keep my gaze down, unable to force myself to look at my parents. “What he said was caught on camera. Which does mean we have enough proof to put Raphael in a close psych ward. And to get Michael released, although there’s no way around it; he’s getting a therapist. I already told Gabe.”

Mom looks up. “Did Gabriel know?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t mention it till just a couple hours ago. That’s why we went out in the Mustang. To talk alone.”

I shrug casually. “He was horrified, yeah. Frustrated. But he was still there for me, as always.”

Mom shakes her head. “Honey...”

I shake my head. “Don’t. I’ve heard it all. I’m the one who talked Michael off that same ledge. It’s not your fault that you’d had a long day. I didn’t care, what mattered was I was alone with nowhere to turn. And I got that. So I told him we’re all here for him. Anna, Gabe, you guys. And that was enough to talk him down. Before he ever got on the real life ledge. Before he actually jumped and we lost him forever.”

I finally look up. “Gabe went to get Raphael put away and get Michael home. It’s not that far.”

I hear Michael’s Lamborghini pull up, a small smile tugging on my lips. “And there he is.”

I slowly rise to my feet, limping over to the door. Dean follows, pulling it open.

Anna comes to the top of the stairs, rubbing her eyes quickly.

Mom, Dad, Sam, Jo, and Ellen follow us out, leaving a small gap of space between us and them.

Gabriel comes up the stairs, one arm around Michael—eyes rimmed in red from crying—and one up to wave.

I wave back, pushing the door open the rest of the way and watching him lean more and more into Gabriel as they go. I know that move. _He’s hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically hurt._

I glance back to Dad. “Dad, I think he’s hurt. He’s leaning into Gabriel more than he should.”

Dad nods. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

I slip out onto the porch, catching him as he stumbles and pulling him into a hug. “Hey.”

He falls into the touch, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “Hey, Cas.”

I pull back to give him a small smile. “You’re hurt, aren’t you?”

He blushes, nodding. “Not as bad as you. But yeah. How can you tell?”

“You don’t lean into Gabriel that much. And forewarning, Anna’s been crying.”

Michael nods, his eyes searching mine. “So have you.”

I wince. “Don’t worry about it. Just what she said, what I told you about.”

Gabriel ruffles Michael’s hair, a soft smile playing on his lips. “You okay?”

He glances towards Gabriel. “I think so.”

Together, Gabriel and I get him up into the entryway. He seems surprised at how easily I support him despite my limp.

Dean edges back a little, still uneasy around him.

Sam looks down on him now, taller. He nods lightly his way, still tense. “Hi.”

Michael looks up. “Hi, Sam.”

With how weak Michael is, it seems to give both Dean and Sam a little sense of comfort.

Jo nods. “Hi, I’m Jo.”

Michael nods, keeping his gaze down. “Hi.”

Ellen lightly touches his shoulder, drawing his attention up. Just a little surprise slips through. “Hi, I’m Ellen.”

He blinks, his voice low. “Hi.”

Dad lifts Michael out of our arms into his own, Michael’s pale skin clashing with Dad’s tan. “Hey.”

Michael wraps his arms around Dad. “Hey, Dad.”

The second Dad releases him, Mom smothers him in hugs and kisses. He laughs weakly, hugging her back. “Hey, Mom.”

She hugs him tightly. “You should’ve told us.”

Michael shakes his head. “Didn’t want a therapist.”

“It’s too late for that, son,” Dad disagrees. “We _could’ve_ worked something out if you told us what was going on before all this happened.”

Michael shrugs. “I know.”

Anna slips down the stairs, on the tips of her toes. She takes Michael in, takes in his abnormally pale complexion and a couple of visible bruises with a frown.

Mom finally releases Michael. He keeps his gaze down, shifting uneasily from foot to foot.

Anna leaps on him, hugging him tightly. “Mike.”

His arms slip around her. “Anna.”

Anna murmurs in his ear and a small smile replaces his quiet demeanor as he whispers back.

For several minutes, they don’t move. But the silence is broken by Dad. “We need to get those bruises checked, make sure there’s not internal bleeding. And there’s no way Anna would let me leave her behind. So come on, you two. Let’s go.”

Dad puts an arm around each of them, heading out to his car and driving off with them.

There’s a silence and Mom glances towards Gabriel. “Can I talk to you?”

Gabriel shrugs. “Why the hell not?”

He follows her upstairs and out of sight.

I keep my gaze down. Now that Michael’s gone, all their attentions have moved to me.

Ellen finally breaks the tense silence. “Cas...if you ever need anything, we’re here. You hear me?”

I smile softly. “Everyone says that.”

Jo shakes her head. “Doesn’t matter. You need someone to talk to, come find us.”

I reach out, taking Dean’s hand. He laces our fingers together without a question, not even flinching at Sam’s questioning stare. “Dean...?”

Dean glances at Sam. “Don’t ask. Can’t explain it in words.”

Sam shakes his head, mounting the stairs and heading into his room.

Jo and Ellen’s eyes follow him away before returning to us. Even Dean seems a little uncomfortable, edging closer to me.

Ellen breaks the awkward silence. “I have to go to work, but if you need me, call me.”

She heads out the door. Jo hesitates before hugging me gently and racing out after her mom.

I shiver a little. Her hugging me feels weird; I have a strange feeling she has a crush on me, even though she knows I’m homo. Anna and Mom’s hugs are more intimate and familial; hers are more shy and loving. I don’t know.

Dean shakes his head. “Awkward.”

I grin, my tension easing. “Just a bit.”

Dean glances towards me. “What you said about being suicidal...”

I shake my head. “Not now. Gabe helped me through it, as always. But I was, yeah. For a while there.”

Dean swallows. “If it weren’t for Sam, for taking care of him, I probably would’ve had the excess energy enough to think about it. But he took all my focus, all my energy.”

I wince. “Good. Because otherwise you never would’ve saved me.”

Dean squeezes my hand. “Yeah, I know.”


End file.
